16/06/2022
Before you get your first kitten or cat, take this test to find out if you can cope with living and looking after your kitten 😂
1. Buy some curtains, you know the really expensive ones, take a knife and slice your curtains twelve times a day.
2. Routinely walk up to shelves and where you place your ornaments, knock them down to their deaths at least once per day.
3. Buy some cat litter, throw it around your carpets, just after you have hoovered.
4. Buy a brand new charger for your phone, take scissors and cut the end off. Repeat every week.
5. Go into your garden with a spade, look for earth worms, scatter a few worms around the house before going to bed. Set alarm clock for 3,4,5,6am and get up removing one worm at a time from your home and place back into the garden. (this can also be repeated with mice, leaves, insects, birds and other living creatures from the wild including squirrels). Leave a few of the worms, hidden and then collect 3 weeks later.
6. Randomly stab pins in your legs, arms and back.
7. Take some sand paper and rub it on your cheeks, hands, legs and eyelids (repeat after every bath or shower) .
8. Place a brick on the stairs before you go to bed and try stepping over it in the morning.
9. Place hair on clean clothes that have just been washed and ironed, also random drops of poo once a week.
10. Walk in wet mud with shoes on, then proceed to walk all over your kitchen counters three times a day.
11. Take a razor blade to all soft furnishings in your home.
12. Ask a friend to sit up all night slapping you in the face randomly.
13. Throw random small items from around the house under sofas and fridges.
14. On rainy days soak a cloth in cold water, place hair all over said cloth, sit and watch your favourite programme with the cloth on your lap, randomly slapping your face with soggy, hairy cloth.
15. Ask a friend to roll a football down your stairs, but only whilst your watching your favourite tv programme, relaxing or sleeping.
16. Open front door, wait for 3 minutes, close front door, then open back door, wait for 3 minutes then close. Repeat 20 times a day.
Repeat every day for 6 months and if you still think that getting a kitten is a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready to get your kitten 💚
Credit - someone clever who has lived with kittens...