08/11/2023
Can you think of a horse that has shaped you as an equestrian? Do you believe that each horse comes into your life to teach you something new or are you the constant that horses are shaped around?
At the moment I have a particularly ‘troublesome’ pony. It would be easy to fob him off as ‘difficult’ or ‘stupid’ or some other way to protect myself from the fact I just don’t have the skillset to work with this horse. I think back over my lifetime with horses and reflect on what I've learnt from each one. Each horse has shaped my knowledge and my identity as a horse woman. There have been times that I didn't have the awareness, wisdom, or skills to be guided by the lessons they were teaching me, but I also didn’t always have the same openness to these lessons either. One thing that time has taught me is about being open to changing the way I do things, and the flow on to the type of horsewoman I am.
Do you allow your horse to influence you.?
Relationship experts and researchers Drs. Gottman discuss the importance of allowing influence as essential pillar to successful relationships. Allowing our partners, or in this case, our horses to influence the way that we think about our horse, horsemanship and our riding is an imperative part of growth. However, for some of us there can be blocks to our learning, or the way that we are open to new concepts.
Perfectionism, power plays, being dismissive and façades of being ‘all knowing’ can all be coping mechanisms that stem from past experiences. Going out of your comfort zone to try new techniques or even acknowledge your own limitations can evoke fear of failure and feelings of shame, or it might just be hard to acknowledge that others have needs that you might not feel you can meet which can evoke feelings of rejection, isolation, and fear.
What are some of signs that you aren't excepting influence from your horse? Are you struggling with your horse’s behaviour? Do you find that the strategies that you used with other horses aren't working for this horse? Do you feel frustrated by them or out of your depth? Are you struggling to form the relationship with your horse?
These are some signs that your horse is offering you an opportunity to learn and grow. We are always able to accept these challenges. However, if you are, reflecting on ‘what is it that my horse is teaching right now’ me can be a profound way to open your world to different ways of interacting with your horse and your own self-development.
I don’t think there are many horse people at the end of their lifetime, could say that they know everything there is to know about horses. Are you letting your horse influence you?