05/12/2023
So it is Christmas time again.
1. Non stop carols in the shops with staff singing along quietly since they hear them incessantly. (Drives them mad). You even find yourself secretly humming the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, by the time you leave to go home.
2. Hot weather storms, hail and the probable cyclone. Insurance companies nightmare! Your premiums will go up next year whether it hailed at your place or not.
3. Busy at the shops, where agitated people (women mostly) are spending their money to buy a year’s worth of groceries because the shops are shut for ONE day. Hope they didn’t forget the apple sauce!
4. People in your street start putting up Christmas decorations and you haven’t even seen them at Bunnings or Choice so with much guilt you dash around throwing a few over the flora in your yard and the front gate. Ours are outstanding this year.
Felicity Broadbent has excelled at the art of outside Christmas decorations.
5. You wander the aisles looking for that present under $15 for the work Christmas party. Hopefully, what you get in return is something that can be recycled next year.
6. The letter box fills up with junk mail hoping to tempt us to buy something we haven’t even heard of, have no use for and can’t afford.
7. This is my favourite.
None of your friends send them anymore but you won’t miss out because……
The Christmas cards in your letterbox are from your local politicians (yes plural). Haven’t set eyes on one of these elusive characters all year. Even when you make a complaint you get the soothing email saying, “ my office will look into this”. Beautiful photos of them playing Happy Families.
8. School holiday time.
Mum and Dad still have to work so older kids often left to their own devices. Lots of prepubescent young people parading up and down shopping centre malls with various tattoos, piercings and damn ugly make up. Usually, in brief attire because it is so bloody hot here at Christmas. Lucky they can. Not sure my 70 year old breasts would look half as good.
9. Real estate agents are knocking on your door because “this is the BEST time to be selling.” All the southerners head up here in droves to escape the “unseasonal “ weather (snow) in Tassie and that one below NSW! Like you need to be worrying about staging your house for inspections when you have 20 adults and 35 children relatives arriving in less than 20 days time.
10. You have been cleaning your house like you are going to rid the place of the devil. Cleaning windows, Venetians, floors, vacuum under every piece of removable furniture, rugs, dusting those parts that only get dusted when “ we have visitors coming for Christmas”. Yes, John Broadbent retreats to the safety of his shed.
11. Then there are the pets. In our case, Winnie the cat. Every morning i come out to the living room to to be met with the carnage of a once very beautifully decorated Christmas tree thanks to Felicity Broadbent.
12. The joy of grandchildren at Christmas never fades.
They are so excited going to bed Christmas Eve with much anticipation. Snacks are left out for Santa and the reindeer. Stockings are waiting to be touched by the magic of Santa. In the morning, their angelic faces are soon transformed into the look of wonder at the beautiful gifts their parents, Ma and Pa and aunties and uncles have lovingly bought or made for them.
This, of course, is all a bit tongue in cheek but I did think the absolute Magic of Christmas needed mentioning and sharing.
MERRY CHRISTMAS and a SAFE and PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR to ALL our family and friends. We look forward to catching up with you next year, if we missed you this year.
