08/08/2025
One of the best posts I’ve seen in a gazillion years. For goodness sakes let them find peace.
Overstimulation is screwing up horses and kids… And it’s exhausting and detrimental.
I’ve spent over 15 years helping horses who struggled with focus, presence, relaxation and boundaries issues.
Horses that couldn’t stand still. Couldn’t relax. Couldn’t take direction without getting emotional or checking out.
And what I saw over and over again was the same root problem:
Humans who constantly need to stimulate their horse because THEY (the human) are wanting a reaction.
They think they are building a bond.
What they are really doing is feeding their own emotional need to feel connected.
It’s not leadership. It’s dependency.
And it leaves the horse more anxious, more distracted, and more emotionally unstable than they were to begin with.
Now that I’m a dad to two young kids, I see it happening there, too.
Adults constantly entertaining, distracting, interrupting, over-stimulating.
Not because the kid needs it but because they need it.
They want the laugh. The look. The reaction to make them feel good.
And in doing that, they rob that child of the space to build focus.
To build regulation.
To build actual internal strength.
Same pattern. Different species.
When a horse can’t be still, people say it’s just “who he is.”
When a kid can’t focus, people say it’s just “how they’re wired” or label them with ADD or want to give them pharmaceutical drugs.
But most of the time, that behavior is the byproduct of people that never gave them space to settle.
Both horses and kids are born with the ability to be present.
It’s usually the adult that disrupts it because they’re uncomfortable with silence, stillness, or not getting the constant hits of dopamine to make the adult feel good.
This is a hard truth:
If you constantly need a reaction to feel like you’re doing a good job with your horse or kid, you’re not leading.
You’re taking.
Leadership means knowing when to step in and when to stay out.
It means doing what’s best for the one you’re responsible for even if you don’t get the emotional payoff right away.
Most people overdo it.
Not because it helps… but because it feels good.
And they don’t want to sit with what it feels like when they stop.
But that silence? That stillness?
That’s where peace starts.
That’s where focus builds.
That’s where actual leadership lives.
We don’t need more stimulation.
We need more people willing to lead without needing something in return.
The horses may never thank us for this, but their quality of life will be better.
And for the kids, they may just thank you decades later. Or they may not.
But it’s not about what we get in return, it’s about doing what the horse or child needs regardless of what is or is not in it for us.
It’s not about you, it’s about them.
And when you focus on serving them, you’ll be blessed more than you can imagine in return.
Together We Rise
-Colton Woods
