04/02/2026
MANDY’S MEMO: HORSES LOVE A NUDIE RUN (IN A FIRE) 🐴🔥
I just caught Steve trying to dress his pony, "Sparkles," in a polyester high-vis vest and a synthetic fly veil. He said, "Safety first, Mandy! I want him to be seen in the smoke!"
I nearly fell off the fence.
Listen to me, and listen good: PLASTIC MELTS. Synthetics shrink-wrap to skin. If a bushfire is coming, your horse needs to be stark naked. No rugs, no fly veils, no nylon halters. If it’s not leather or natural fibre, take it OFF.
Here is the actual horse survival guide, devoid of Steve’s "good ideas":
🚫 The "Stable" Trap: Do not lock them in the stable. It’s a wooden oven. Let them out. 🏃
The "Safe Paddock": Horses are smart. If you give them a large, eaten-out paddock (dirt is good!) or a sand ménage with no trees, they will gallop to the black (burnt ground) and survive.
❌ Don't Road Trip: Do not let them out on the road. They’ll get hit by a fire truck or panic in the smoke. Keep them on the property unless you moved them YESTERDAY.
🔥 Leave Early: If you’re floating them out, do it the night before or first thing in the morning. Trying to load a panicked 500kg animal when you can smell smoke is a recipe for disaster.
Summary:
Gear: OFF.
Gates: INTERNAL ones OPEN (so they can run from paddock to paddock).
Location: SAFE PADDOCK (grazed down, dam, no scrub).
Steve: BANNED from the tack room.
