07/06/2023
So true, what’s below the surface needs more attention!
“I am confident in saying that we must do better in understanding. We have to take interest in what lies under the skin before we can take the reins and insist on forward, or bend, or collection, because without an idea of the inner workings of a horse, we have no way of monitoring the damage possible.”
“But I firmly believe we need to be brave enough to face the repercussions of our ignorance, no matter how well meaning. I believe we have to face our every flaw squarely and stare it down until we are what a horse needs.”
“The least we can do is give back half that much in growth, in knowledge, in personal change.”
“The horses deserve it”
I’m still processing all I learned from Bellus’s dissection. It gave me a closure I’m extremely grateful for, because as you can imagine, it was a very hard decision to make. Putting a beloved horse down is never easy, but there are always the complicated feelings of guilt, wishing you’d done more and known more, regret, and mourning for the life you know your horse deserved. I think I did the best I could, but facts are facts- he suffered, and didn’t deserve it.
The one thing I am certain of is that he was an incredibly generous, beautiful soul. Upon discovering the details of his body, I am also certain that horses are experts in surviving at any cost. Bellus was in chronic pain and thus chronic stress- my priorities might have been good posture and bend and the like, while his were just surviving.
I am confident in saying that we must do better in understanding. We have to take interest in what lies under the skin before we can take the reins and insist on forward, or bend, or collection, because without an idea of the inner workings of a horse, we have no way of monitoring the damage possible.
The things I’ve seen will change me forever - places his body remodeled, places that adhered, places that atrophied, places that were unable to function. It was never a question of not wanting to - it was a case of unable to.
I don’t believe we shouldn’t ride them, or that any refusal is a reason to quit.
But I firmly believe we need to be brave enough to face the repercussions of our ignorance, no matter how well meaning. I believe we have to face our every flaw squarely and stare it down until we are what a horse needs.
They are so generous - you know this only as a nebulous idea until you stare directly at the evidence of all a horse gave even without the ability. The least we can do is give back half that much in growth, in knowledge, in personal change.
The horses deserve it