11/28/2021
Written for pets but applies so well to all of our animals-large or small.
Letting Go
I've always believed that one of the greatest gifts we can give our pets is a dignified exit from this earth when it's their time. I can't imagine the pain one must endure, watching a loved one wither away, without quality of life or the choice of a dignified and peaceful end. With our pets, we have that choice. And we have the responsibility to ensure that they don't suffer. At the very least, we owe them that much.
When we make the decision to bring an animal into our lives, we take on a massive responsibility to care for the needs of a living, breathing creature who doesn't have the ability to tell us when or where it hurts. From day one until, hopefully, a ripe old age, we owe them a happy life, fulfilled mentally and physically. It really takes so little effort in exchange for the unconditional love we receive.
The thing about our animals is, that time always comes way too soon. It's so unfair that an animal who can bring so much uncompromising, unselfish, uncomplicated love and joy into our lives has to leave us too soon. 10 years, 20 years. It's just not enough. So when we make that commitment to them, we do so knowing that they will one day leave us with a huge, gaping void.
And the special ones, the really special ones make it so much harder. We've all had animals in our lives, but every so often, a heart dog or even more rare, a soul dog (or fill in soul partner species) comes along. And that connection is so special, it's impossible to explain to someone. It's a connection that doesn't need explanation. It just is. And our lives are so much better for it. And then so much harder.
How do we know when it's time? Over the years, what I've learned from personal experience and in my profession, it is better to have this discussion with yourself and your family well in advance. Because waiting too long is not good for anyone. Waiting too long means that we are not fulfilling our ultimate responsibility.
The decision about the 'right' time is a personal one. To a point. We need to always have, as a priority in our selfish human existence, the capacity to ensure the quality of life of this beautiful soul in our care.
We need to un-selfishly consider whether this important part of our family is still able to do the things that he or she is meant to do. Still eating, still drinking, still able to express the behaviours that make them unique, and still able to get up and go outside and run round without pain (discomfort and pain are different). When we can no longer manage pain, when we can no longer reduce it to discomfort, hard decisions need to be made. Have to be made. There are worse things in this life than a good death. Believe me, I have seen them.
The decision of "when is the right time" is not easy. Often illness and pain can be insidious. Creeping slowly, quietly in. This is the time to be brave and to depend on the guidance of a trusted and caring professional. Your veterinarian is able to help, by giving you a thorough and thoughtful assessment of your animal's health. It is done with kindness and an interest in always putting the patient's well-being above that of the owner/guardian's needs. It is sometimes hard to hear. But let's remember to put our selfish human instincts aside for the more important responsibility of not allowing our animals to suffer.
The voice of a caring professional can ease the questioning and the guilt you may feel about this difficult decision. They are able to help you come to a place of comfort. So when it's the time to let your beloved animal go, there is no bargaining, no second guessing, only the peace of knowing that we are doing the right thing, at the right time for our most special partner.
The path left behind by the departure of our loved ones should be a tribute to a life well lived with no regrets.
