07/01/2024
I hate empty pens that were full of beautiful souls only a few hours ago. Souls that had a wonderful life, but give the ultimate sacrifice for us. It is an uncomfortable energy that I hate. Only hours earlier I was laughing at the pigs laying in the sun like little bread loafs. Today we finished up the pigs and sheep that were left to be processed - 8 lives that I raised from babies. Two rams that were bottle babies, but showed not the most favorable behavior at times. A sheep (Rapper eyes) that was always one of the first to say hi, get hugs and snuggles, but also threaten to ram you every now and then or look a little too closely at lovin'me 🤣. Since they would get worse as they reached sexual maturity - I had to make some sh*tty decisions. I tossed and turned most of the week on what I was going to do, but made the final decision last night. I remember reading a story about a billy goat that got passed around for years - through the auction over and over, with more scars and terrible experiences because a woman couldnt stomach processing the goat herself. I didn't want that for my boys - so I made sure that they only knew love on this earth. We kept one ram and of course Swanson who will be castrated by a vet at the end of the month to be my pet sheep. We have one remaining steer to process in the spring and then the cycle starts again. People always tell me that they have no idea how I do it...let me tell you...it's hard. I cry for every animal that leaves us. It weighs heavy on my heart to make sh*tty decisions that directly impact whether an animal lives or dies and picking the day that they don't get to be here anymore. I loved every single one of you and that you for your ultimate sacrifice. ❤️💙
