Earth Song Mama

17/11/2024

Time for my quarterly Facebook update...

Hey friends!
I recently became a single mom of my babe. This happened by choice and by circumstance. My partner decided to move permanently back to his home country after deciding that he cannot thrive in Canada, and invited me to join him.
We’ve both struggled a lot in our relationship, and I have an older daughter I don’t wish to abandon- so I chose to stay here and we split up.

Being a single mother of another kiddo is far from what I had as my life plan, but I'm rolling with it as best I can.
Overall, I have been unravelling lately. I didn’t think I would as I was feeling quite solid about this shift but my 6yo. got very sick and has stayed sick for a while, so I’ve started to get burnt out. Every ounce of me has been going to my children and there hasn’t been much leftover.

Having time to oneself to grieve and rage and process a break up is vital and wow- is this ever hard as a mom.
Crying on the phone with a wise friend I asked, “how can I move through the resentment I’m feeling?”
She told me that resentment comes when we feel we have given too much.

This idea has been helping me a lot in two ways: first to set firmer boundaries where needed, and second to take self-responsibility for having given more than I should have in certain moments, leading to some of the disappointments and frustrations I feel.
I’m still a work-in-progress on that one but overall I’ve realized that there is something very useful and clarifying about hard times. While the things that arise can feel acutely awful, the gift of this time is the gift of life assessment; Where am I? How did I get here? What do I want to do differently moving forward?
There’s a part of me that wants to just become a hot mess. There’s something appealing about it, some form of release when I think of just doing nothing and letting all this sorrow and rage overtake me.

I’m not going to do that at the moment, but instead I’ll write more, make some poetry and songs to move through this time and find my feet in my journey as a single mom of two beautiful daughters.

If you care to be a witness to this part-unravelling/part-unfurling, I’ll be sharing mostly on instagram.
💗🌟🌈
Bethany

19/07/2024

It’s high summer and this angel baby is almost 3 months old 😍💜

My babe is super calm and happy and while this could simply be good luck I also attribute it to:
🌱a calm home birth
🌱not driving around very often, staying home a lot
🌱daily connection time with me- singing and talking to each other all day long
🌱co-sleeping
🌱responding to her cries within 30 seconds most of the time
🌱extra hands around to hold and snuggle her
🌱massages, tummy time, and very little time restrained in car seats/chairs
🌱early potty training- she only poops in a potty when my legs are holding her in the optimal position (see my highlight reel on instagram if interested)!
🌱breastfeeding
🌱a mama with a (most-often) calm nervous system + clear energy; I do at least 3 little things for my own pleasure + joy each day, and take the time to feel my feelings and find peace with the hard parts of life

My body also feels strong again after giving myself a full first month to go super slow.

Grateful for this baby-filled, love-filled summer!

What do you think- is my baby calm by nature, nurture, or both?

ps . we found a Polyphemus moth! What a beauty!

12/07/2024

Fun in the sunny garlic patch with my friend Julie !

☀️ Pull yer garlic when 7 leaf tips are yellowing 🧄

☀️Treat it like a ripe peach and gently remove soil (don’t whack it! Garlic can bruise and lasts longer when handled with care).

☀️If soil is wet or dense then fork it

☀️Dry it out away from direct sunlight (it can dry for the day in the sun but then get it in the garage or it will yellow. Lay it out with airflow beneath or hang it to dry). Trying braiding it for fun!

☀️optimal storage is just above freezing and dry (some garages are perfect!)

☀️plant a new patch from the biggest ones in the fall- add some compost and mulch with straw or leaves! I do 4 rows at 4-6 inches apart.

☀️beware of leek moth as it grows - if you see damaged leaves, remove eggs and put in soapy water

Yay garlic 🧄! 💜

29/06/2024

Grateful for strawberry abundance!

I don’t know why it took me 10 years of growing to finally grow strawberries (actually I do know- I didn’t want another thing on my farm that was fairly labour intensive to pick).

Anyways, I’m glad I’m growing them now!

Growing strawberries isn’t hard- you just have to think ahead.

Plant baby plants (called runners) this season for next year’s harvest. Mulch them with straw if you want to be fancy or use leaves from the yard. Compost will help the plants establish.

Keep the patch weeded as best you can! And use your plants each year to create new plants for the next year.

If you grow too many, like I did, your friends will thank you.

* I only recommend planting if you have at least 10 feet of space to grow them in. Growing any less and you’ll just get a handful of fruit which is fun but not the most wise use of space if garden space is limited. 🍓

Happy growing!

25/06/2024

Have you ever wanted to try off-grid living? Here’s your chance! I’ve been working away preparing this little bunkie for the last 2 years.

At first I was going to rent it out on Airbnb but as I assessed my goals for my land I realized that offering housing and building community on my land is much more important to me. Life is better living close to friends!

Here is an opportunity to live off-grid, in a beautiful space, in a micro-community of great folks.

The property is on the edge of a small town (Durham/West Grey) so you will be close to amenities and a ten minute walk from the beautiful Saugeen river (great for swimming and fishing).

The Bunkie is situated on the edge of a forest, and outfitted with a small camping kitchen (not pictured), loft bed, woodstove, couch, and table. Any upgrades you make (ie. porch, outhouse), or worktrades on the property reduce your rent by $20/hour.

$900/month

Available August or September 1.

08/06/2024

Things that help me find joy, stave off postpartum depression, and stay sane in the postpartum (post-birth) time:

-genuine connection moments with baby; phone away, tuning in completely, and enjoying each other (read Nurture Revolution by Greer Kirshenbaum ☀️)
-prioritizing self care over getting my to-do list accomplished
-inviting my friends to come over during baby’s fussiest time of day so I’m not alone for too many hours with a crying babe.
-saying yes when help is offered. LEARNING TO RECEIVE and articulate what I want clearly💗
-not trying to leave the house very often. As a new mom my nervous system is very sensitive and easily over-stimulated. While it may not look like I’m still healing from the outside it takes much longer to heal than most people acknowledge
-Having moments through the day to tune into the body and spirit. If I feel overwhelmed I try slowing down, napping, and/or releasing emotion.
-lotsa magnesium and herbal baths and yoni (vaginal) steaming, and if possible- comforting touch or bodywork
-very little cooking… I tried to freeze and prep lots before babe and I ask friends to cook for me as well
-getting lots of help and care for any older children
-keeping our bedroom, aka. The Nest 🪺 , cozy, tidy, and quiet. As some say “7 days in bed, 7 days on the bed, and 7 days near the bed.” But even beyond that, taking it much slower than you think (not always easy for most of us!).

It can be an intense time, and easy to loose sight of mental health and physical health during this time.

You have to commit to taking good care of yourself and asking others to help.

If you know a new mama, share this with them and help them slow down and enjoy. Nurturing babies is not an easy task and the more we support mothers the happier and healthier those babies can be! 💜💕🌸

Bethany

29/05/2024

One month with this sweet baby bear 🐻 💜☀️

Everything in my life has been changing because of the arrival of this magical being. I can’t quite put my finger on it but amid the exhaustion of infant mothering and some challenging life upheavals, there is a new ME emerging.

Mothering baby Koda thus far has woken me up to remembering that it is my duty and responsibility, as a mother/partner/friend/human, to CHOOSE JOY.

I may seem like someone who chooses joy and peace, but if you have been part of my inner circle in the last 5 years you know that I have walked through fire after fire, and struggled a lot at various times in my journey.

Life is short, and a precious gift and I don’t know how much longer us humans have to be on this planet and every day is a gift, especially for those of us living in safety…

And so, especially for my children, I choose joy.

Some things that made me feel joyful this week:
1. a blue Jay almost flew in my back door,
2. I got to plant some seeds in soil,
3. I knocked on my older neighbour’s door and we walked to the river while baby was sleeping, snuggled up against my skin
4. My friends/family fed me, did many of my dishes, and rocked my baby when my arms grew weary
5. A new friend baked me chocolate brownies and I munched on one at 4am while rocking Koda and gazing at the half moon outside my window 🌙

Even though I cried a few times, I also laughed and embraced the unknown and danced on the back porch with a baby in my arms.

Thank you baby Koda for reminding me that while feeling ALL the things is important- feeling joy is the most important. ☀️💜

Happy one month!

28/05/2024

Hey friends! You’re invited to a Solstice Flower Party 🌸

Come join Lydia Schleife and myself for a beautiful celebration of local flowers (grown here and by Annabelle at ) and summer solstice!

Lydia is an incredibly talented florist and flower grower from Gera, Germany. She will lead us in a workshop where we will play with local flowers and celebrate the summer solstice with good food!

This event will take place on Thursday June 20 at 6pm. All are welcome (kids too).

Please RSVP so we can get a sense of how many flowers are needed.

Suggested donation of $20 for the workshop

Please bring a potluck dish to share. Overnight Camping welcome. 🌸💕☀️🧚‍♀️🍉

06/05/2024

Spent my 35th birthday snuggled up in bed, soaking in the magic of new life.

On April 29 at 5:16 pm our sweet girl Koda Arya (aka. “little bear” 🐻)emerged earth-side in a magical home water birth.

Surrounded by loved ones and supported by all the elements during the birth process- the birth was a beautiful ceremony of love, trust, and community.

Since then we’ve been resting, healing, and enjoying our first moments with baby.

Here’s to good health and abundant support in this new sweet journey. Thanks for all the birthday and well wishes sweet friends. Here are a few sweet snippets from recent days.

22/03/2024

22/03/2024

I just spent three glorious and tiring days in the big city (TO), singing my little heart out and recording music with the loving support of my partner Deon Pinder and in collaboration with the amazing producer Joel Schwartz .

I’ve been writing songs since I was 14 years old. I won my high school idol competition playing original songs on piano at 17. I made two home-made albums on my computer in my early 20s, and played a bunch of shows in my early university days. My roommates at that time were my biggest fans- always asking me to play songs when we were hanging out in the living room.

Then I became a farmer and music took a backseat to my career and busy farm life. I wrote a song here and there, but mostly every day was about growing things. My decade of farming was a beautiful + fruitful phase of life, but music was missing.

When I went through my divorce and the dissolution of my farm began in 2020, coinciding with the pandemic, I needed music. I needed music to cope during some of the darkest, most isolating, and confusing times of my life.

During this time I let go of a pregnancy I knew I could not sustain. This was a big deal for me as I always imagined having another child, but for personal reasons I knew it wasn’t the right time. In a ceremony with myself, I promised myself that I would record and share some of my music before I had my next baby.

I’m serious about following through with my personal commitments but I definitely procrastinated a bit… here I finally am at 8 months pregnant, 4 years later, making this dream come true.

I sang some of my songs at a “Corn Moon concert” in fall 2020 - the last show in my barn at my farm.. and this past summer I did a show of my melancholy tunes for a crowd of strangers in Germany except for my sweet friend Rosa Knoten

I’ve always wanted to make art like this and it feels good to produce some songs that were important medicine for me in hard times.

Stay tuned for the release of my first-ever professionally recorded EP and thank you to those who helped make the dream a reality! 🎉 🌟💕

Ps. Yes I brought my pregnancy ball into the studio… 😅🤰

14/02/2024

Hey friends,
I wanted to re-introduce myself.

My name is Bethany.
I came to organic farming when I was 19 years old due to chronic illness. I dropped out of university after a prolonged hospital stay and worked on an Organic farm outside Miami, Florida. Being outdoors and eating whole organic food, I began to feel well again.

Over the years I struggled with my health and immunity. I regularly returned to ecological farming, knowing deep down that living life on land was part of my path.

In 2012 I started an organic farm.

I ran a beautiful vegetable farm business called Zócalo Organics, which served over 120 CSA members (weekly veggie boxes), farmers markets, and sold produce to 14 local restaurants. My ex-husband Seb and I had a successful business, trained new farmers, and created a dynamic community on our farm. I learned many things on both my healing and farming journey.

In 2020 it became time to move on from this life. However challenging, I am so grateful I had the courage to step into the unknown.

One year ago I set down roots on a new property, 9 acres in Durham Ontario. My dream was to create a similar life to the one I had on my previous farm, only one that was more slow-paced, more conducive to raising children; a life with more space + time for creativity.

It hasn’t been easy to continue to pursue a life on land, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to do so, for a beautiful home, and place to plant gardens to feed my family and friends.

In the last year I’ve planted fruit trees and bushes, started my first garden on this land, ran 2 Grief Retreats, taught yoga classes, hosted Women’s circles, hosted potlucks and met some local friends, offered Reiki from my home, started a medicinal herb garden, built a bunkie (well mostly built it), and set up my home. It has been a big year!

In a couple months I’ll be having my second baby with my beautiful partner Deon. I will be sharing stories and songs from that journey, as well as continuing to share about my life on land.

I’ve changed my name from Tender Farmer to Earth Song Mama. Thanks for following along 🌿❤️🦋🌱
-B

13/02/2024

Starting this Thursday!

09/02/2024

Gratitude for the waters, plants, new friends, and peaceful practices I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of during a beautiful retreat away.

I feel enlivened, clear, and blessed.

Yesterday I visited a waterfall, and at sundown I danced with a smile on my face before having a long and deep sleep.

Today I was bathed in herbs, flowers, and songs + cleansed in the river 🙏💕! Baby has been kicking and dancing along at every moment.

I will carry forward these deeply nourishing moments into the months to come, returning home with renewed vitality and strength for my growing family and life. 🙏🌈🌴

I wish to share a piece of writing about my second pregnancy journey, which has been a very potent time for me:

🌿

“Recieve the gifts”
She whispers
“That’s your only task-
Soften and receive.”

I lay back in the cool river and let the current pull me downstream. I climb out of the water and leave my footprints on the rocks. An iguana crawls through the tree above me.

The jungle caws and howls around me, the river roars, and I shed more layers - softening further into each joyous moment, frolicking in the river with lightness in my whole body, dancing in dappled sunlight while gifting the river a song- I feel none of my usual weight in my hips, nor my mind.

I come here to integrate the lessons of this pregnancy.

In recent months I’ve burned my fire low and slow, keeping my body close to the ground where the earth can whisper back to me the things I long to know.

Sometimes the earth is silent, leaving me writhing like a snake through tall grass, in search of answers.

I thought I became a mother with my first child, but I see now the many aspects of maidenhood that I still clung to at that time, these things have now fallen away.

To be a mother is to be vulnerable. To be a mother is to be a lion, to be alert…. to channel my rage into protection of my children, and my weariness into peace.

To be a mother is to be a child. To be a mother is to be the instrument, the song of the great mother, a portal for life and universal energy.

No longer can the wildness of my life and this journey contain the illusions of the maiden. No longer do I want to pretend to have control.

I never did.

The wind, and water remind me- It is as it should be. This wildness. This wild pregnancy. It will be a wild birth too.

Let me find joy in pain, and ecstasy in surrender. Leave me to my own instincts. Weep with me. Do not pretend to be immune. You came through a womb too, do you remember?

Watch as I commune with my own being to find myself exactly here, present for the birth of my child. Is that not a mother’s birthright? To meet her child with her eyes open? Her senses in tact?

The river always spits me out somewhere, on some shore or rock where the butterflies dance on, amused.

I step forward into this deeper unravelling without looking back.

I am Ready to receive the gifts of motherhood.

“Recieve the gifts”, she says, “soften and receive”.

31/01/2024

Winter is not my season. If you know me, you know this! Summer 100% is my life force (just writing that has me garden dreaming!). When it’s too hot to wear clothes, and too humid for my hair to be...