10/05/2016
My dearest NEO,
it´s a bit more than 24h ago that you closed your eyes for forever. Everything went so quick on the end NEO. I was sitting next to you on the floor and I couldn´t help you breathing easier and you put your head on my laps and we have been so close. Close for the last time. I went back to the couch and I felt relieved when I heard you in the dark moving back to your spot … so I went up, got some water for you and something to drink for me. When I turned the little light on to give you water I saw … I saw you had gone.
The minutes afterwards I can´t really remember. Paul said I screamed and he had known straight away what happen. He run to you and we both felt smashed. Completely. Hit the bottom. You have gone NEO and we couldn´t catch it at all. We still can´t. Paul and I feel like on an empty rollercoaster and us swinging between crying, remembering and laughing. We both said probably one million times the same things but it was the right thing.
Even if you know, that the day of Good Bye will come … you hardly can´t prepare. Paul and I are still overwhelmed. We both have been scared that we have to made one day a decision … we had fear being by the vet and have to say that´s time now. But we should have known better NEO. We should had known, that you know us and our luck of letting you go. And even on the end, you helped us, again. You little NEO made the descion, and you made it perfect. You died at home, surrounded with us, with love from us … love to the moon and back and this for forever. You choose your spot, the spot you was laying so often … with the perfect view. You gave us the time to say finally good bye to you. To cry and to say the last words we wanted to say to you, to touch you, hug you and lay for while next to you … without that we felt any time pressure.
My dearest NEO, I hope so much, that you feel our unconditional love and you take this love with you and it will protect and keep you happy. It will take quite a long time before Paul and I really grasp it that you are gone … that you are not a part of our daily living anymore. We both hoped you would meet our little Goth´n`Roll Queen. But you decided differently. And you know what NEOchen … one day we will understand or at least accept this. You did tremendous things for us … you showed us, and in particular me, the way back to this world. You came as THE CHOOSEN ONE … and you turned out as the BIGGEST PRESENT I or we could have ask for. There was not one single day, we didn´t had a laugh together … you brought a smile to our face and you touched our hearts.
NEO, thank you so much for being my dog, my friend and my guardian … thank you so much, that you took me how I am. You never judged me on my past, my present or had any expectations on me. You just loved me and the best thing is I could feel this love. I hope you could feel the same back my NEOchen.
WE WILL MISS YOU NEO … and I am scared for the next weeks and how I will cope with it. Today in three weeks’ time we will get our little daughter. We will tell her about you so many times … and I know that often we will wish you would be around us … and you will NEO. You will stay in spirit with us and I know you will look after us. We will see us again and I am looking forward to see your happy face and your whole body moving and winkling because you are Mr Happy.
I LOVE YOU NEO, HEAPS AND HEAPS, I WILL ALWAYS DO … Danke, Danke dass Du so ein großer, wunderbarer, einzigartiger, unvergesslicher Teil meines Lebens warst und immer sein wirst.
Wir werden uns wieder sehen.
Deine Mama
