18/12/2024
I've shared these words before but I'm sharing them again after seeing the aftermath of a dog bite to a child because it's so important if you live with kids & dogs that you think about this stuff. No one ever thinks it'll happen to them til it does...
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“𝙃𝙚’𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙙𝙨…”
“𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙩𝙨 𝙪𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙙𝙨…”
We often praise our dogs for their tolerance of the behaviour of children, but tolerance is a subjective word….
𝙏𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚
1. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩
2. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨
3. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱
To tolerate something is to put up with something you’d really rather not. We tolerate queues, TV adverts and dental check ups….but, given a choice, we’d probably pass…
So when we praise our dog for being tolerant aren’t we really acknowledging that he’s putting up with things he’d choose to avoid if he could? He tolerates the children sitting on him, hugging him, pulling his ears or squeezing in beside him on the sofa…but he’s often not enjoying it and may actively dislike it.
Relying on our dogs’ tolerance of things they find uncomfortable in order to keep our children safe is a risky strategy….even the most bomb proof dog has his limits. One day he might be sore or feel unwell or simply have had enough of being manhandled and what then? What happens if he reaches a tipping point and reacts? No one ever thinks it will happen to them until it does.
Instead of tolerance perhaps a better word to keep in mind when thinking about dog/child interactions is respect?
𝙍𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩
1. 𝘥𝘶𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘺
Respect for the dog’s space and his right to choose what interactions he’s comfortable with. Respect for a dog’s right to say no. Respect for a dog to be left in peace. Actively teaching our children how to behave safely around dogs; how to treat them with consideration and thoughtfulness and not as playthings.
Safe, happy relationships are built on trust, communication and respect…not tolerance & forbearance.