09/02/2025
This is a slightly different post… something to brighten this drizzly, grey Sunday in the middle of winter.
In the world of dog training there are always 2 sides - the human side and the dog side. Often, we focus so much on the dog side that the human side gets forgotten. But in any partnership how both is feeling, matters. We often say we must take the dog out no matter how bad our day has been or how much we don’t feel up to it. Sometimes we don’t factor in the toll living with a dog with complex behavioural needs takes on our daily lives. On top of everything else we have to contend with.
Life is hard. It is a rollercoaster of going up and down. Just when you think everything is going amazing something will come along to shake it all up. Just when something feels safe and familiar, it will all fall apart.
Often, we focus on the negatives. That’s human nature. I’m here to remind you that changing our mindset to focusing on the glimmers is one of the biggest ways we can improve and protect our mental health.
Sometimes it can feel all hope is lost. Back when I was first trying to work with animals and get away from my supermarket job as an early 20 year old, I found it insanely hard. I remember getting an interview for my dream job, working in kennels. I felt the interview went well and got a really good gut feeling about it. Sadly, a couple of days later I found out I didn’t get it. It had been really close, but someone else just had more kennel experience than me.
Life is funny. We never know what will happen next. I was gutted, but I started volunteering at a local animal rescue to get that experience. I only lasted a month there because… 2-3 weeks later out of the blue I got a phone call. I was offered the job. Someone had handed in their notice and rather than interviewing again, I was offered the position. That moment changed my life and I spent a further 4 years working in those rescue kennels. Without that job, I wouldn’t be here now running my own business today.
There are a few things I always try to remind myself when things get tough. It’s hard! It’s hard to see through the fog sometimes. I’m sharing them because whilst looking after our challenging dogs, we must also remember to look after ourselves.
* Familiarity does not always equal safety. It may feel safe because it feels familiar, but that doesn’t mean it is. It can be so hard to let go of that familiarity, but in the long run… it will always be worth it.
* Trust the process. Even when you feel nothing is going right and you are trigger stacked to the max… you will come out the other side. And often when we do… things that seemed impossible suddenly become possible.
* Trust your gut. Your gut is pretty much always right, I know mine is. There have been so many times my gut has pinged at me, screamed at me even, and I’ve ignored it. If something feels off or you get a negative feeling… trust it.
* If something isn’t meant to be, then it isn’t. If it is… it will find a way to work. We all put energy and effort into those things that matter to us. If it matters and is worth fighting for, fight for it. If you keep hitting walls, at some point it will be time to stop. Your gut will tell you when.
* The ‘easy’ thing is to give up. It’s not really easy, we all know that. But sometimes fighting just becomes exhausting. This is especially true in dog training when sometimes it feels we are getting nowhere. Sometimes it’s when we are just about to give up… the answers come to us.
When we are training our dogs, always remember our side of it too. Sometimes it feels as if we are getting nowhere. Sometimes it feels as if we are making huge progress… only to be straight back to where we were. Add in all of life’s other challenges and how we feel on a day-to-day basis. It’s hard!!
I try to think of life as a jar with different coloured balls. I want to fill that jar with happy, brightly coloured balls which represent those happy, bright days. Not the dark balls that represent those difficult days. The more brightness there is, the easier it is to deal with the dark. The same is true for us and our dogs. If you think going for that walk is going to be too stressful and just be a dark ball, don’t do it. I will often opt for a secure field… a bright ball… knowing that nothing can interrupt our walk and turn it into a dark ball.
And if I can help someone else turn their dark day to a bright day, I will. We all have the power to change someone’s day. We all have a responsibility to take accountability for how our actions impact those around us. If we are having a bad day not only do the people around us feel it, but so do the dogs. It’s okay on those days to do whatever it is you need to get yourself back to those bright days. And if that means not taking the dog out, not training the dog… that really is okay.
Life is tough. Life will always be up and down. But keep going. Keep fighting. Because… I promise it’s worth it. 🐶🐾
