23/05/2023
So out on my morning walks playing dodge the p**p and came up with this...... With a little help 🤣🤣🤣
Dear Beloved Dog Owners,
Greetings from the magical realm of p**p! I, the magnificent and illustrious P**p Fairy, feel compelled to address a matter of utmost importance: your incredible skill at evading your responsibilities as dog owners. Oh, how awe-inspiring it is to witness your remarkable ability to conveniently ignore the steaming piles of treasure your furry companions so generously bestow upon our shared world.
Let me start by enlightening you on the potential harm your dog's excrement can cause. You see, dear dog owners, dog p**p is like a magical elixir of disease and contamination. It possesses the power to transform a pristine park into a toxic wasteland, where unsuspecting canines frolic at their own risk. Don't you just love the idea of dogs engaging in a rather unappetizing game of "guess which p**p is safe to sniff"? It's a delightful way to test their immune systems, don't you think?
Now, I understand that you may be under the impression that I exist solely to pick up your dog's f***s. After all, why should you stoop so low as to handle the remnants of your precious furball's digestive escapades? But alas, let me clarify one thing: I am not your personal p**p servant. Contrary to popular belief, I have a myriad of other responsibilities in my magical realm, like ensuring the proper distribution of unicorn manure and sprinkling glitter on rainbows. So, please, excuse me if I don't have the time or inclination to follow behind you with my enchanting shovel.
But fear not! I come bearing a solution. It's an ingenious concept, really. Brace yourself for the revolutionary idea: how about you, the dog owner, take some responsibility for your furry friend's waste? I know, it's a wild notion, but perhaps you could gather the strength to summon the willpower required to bend down and utilize that highly underutilized invention called a p**p bag. It's like a magical pouch that contains the p**p and grants you the power to dispose of it responsibly. Imagine that!
Now, before I bid you farewell, I must express my heartfelt admiration for your undeniable skills of mental gymnastics. The way you convince yourselves that leaving your dog's mess behind is somehow a gift to nature is truly remarkable. Mother Earth must be eternally grateful for your selfless contributions.
In conclusion, dear dog owners, let it be known that I, the P**p Fairy, will not be your enabler. I implore you to embrace your role as responsible stewards of the land, to rise above the allure of laziness, and to join the ranks of esteemed individuals who recognize that picking up p**p is not only a courtesy but a necessary duty. The welfare of our beloved canine companions and the sanctity of our parks depend on it.
Yours with a generous sprinkling of magical p**p dust,
The P**p Fairy