11/05/2025
It's Badminton and here is a explanation of each phase....its very funny
Ah…..Badminton week on social media. The time when the KSD’s, otherwise known as the Facebook experts, come together to lecture the lowly 5* riders on how their horses should look, physically, and how to ride. I honestly don’t know what Oli, Ros and Harry, for starters, would do without the KSDs. Or what these 5* horses’ veterinary and physio teams would do without them. Lord knows how they’ve all won multiple 5* events, gold medals, Olympic Games etc etc without the KSDs training them and advising on fitness?? How these riders have even got to Badminton, is astounding.
It always starts with the first jog/horse inspection. Before the first horse has even stood before the ground jury, the “shark fin withers due to poor fitting saddles and being ridden every day in draw reins” posts start appearing. According to the KSDs, these horses are so weak and under-muscled that it’s a wonder they don’t collapse at the end of the first jog, to be honest. And that’s before they’ve put their horrifically fitting saddles on. Let’s not even get started about their bits that only work because they cause pain. This year, the KSDs also made sure to preach to the general public about the poor fashion sense (frequently spelled, “sence”) of some of the world’s leading athletes. Oh, then there are the horses that dare to flick an ear back, or get a bit excited/stressed by the atmosphere (nothing to do with being supremely fit and ready to explode); because someone caught a photo of them with an ear or eye flicking to something behind them, the horse is very clearly in pain/unhappy/would rather be fat and unfit in a field and hack out once a week in a head collar.
Somehow, these weak, under fed, under muscled horses made it to the dressage arena (in their saddles that don’t fit). So then the KSDs feel the urge to post their dressage knowledge, alongside the standard “I wouldn’t want my horse to look as unhappy as these horses”. Meanwhile, half of the KSDs don’t own a horse, and the other half own one obese pony with EMS that spends 6 months of the year with laminitis and the other half staring at a grass field from the confines of a gravel path. But as long as it doesn’t look like a lean, supremely fit, incredibly well muscled, elite athlete, he will be happier. Before anyone takes offence, I also have an obese pony, but I also appreciate what a finely tuned 5* horse looks like, and would rather the obese pony looked like that!
Onto XC day. The KSDs always like to advise on how exhausted these horses look;how the riders have pushed them; how they would have retired their horse after that stumble/bad jump, and not continued (despite 50% having never ridden, let alone competitively). Oh, and how horrific that several of the riders have publicly mentioned being in a calorie deficit for weeks/months prior to Badminton for the welfare of their horse! How dare they! Petunia will now think she is too heavy, at 18 stone, to ride her 450kg 15.2hh TB and may stop eating burgers. These inconsiderate 5* riders talking about trying to be as light as possible 🙄 Anyway, if these horses TRULY loved their job, they’d be going round bitless.
We’ve got the final jog/horse inspection to look forward to, tomorrow, when the KSDs present their veterinary degrees to the FB world, and exclaim that they wouldn’t have passed half of those horses. I have no idea why they don’t get a panel of the KSDs to judge the jog, and get rid of the clueless vet and GJ. Although if they did that for the first one, I guess no horses would be deemed fit enough to even walk back to the stables, let alone start the Event, so maybe scratch that idea.
Disappointed that so many of these visibly weak, poorly muscled horses have somehow winged it to the final phase of one of the most challenging 5*s, the KSDs wander back off to the depths of FB, ready to offer their advice to someone who may actually listen, as these arrogant 5* riders certainly don’t seem to listen.
This is tongue in cheek, with a little bit of truth, so I’m fully prepared to be told I’m an awful person for writing it 😉