Soft and Sound

03/12/2025

The End is Not the Means

Or

You can’t ride the horse you have today like the horse you hope they’ll be tomorrow

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Years ago, I gave a talk and mentioned the principle of "The End is not the Means". Someone in the audience said this was a lightbulb moment for her. It had never occurred to her (and why would it?) that riding from your seat, with low still hands, and softly draped legs, might not be where you start. That this ideal ‘end’ might only be achieved by showing your horse the way – using the 'means' needed right then and there. This might require you to do many messy, big, less than subtle things to provide your horse with what they need in any given moment.

You don’t dispense with your dream end goal, and every single initial offer you make to your horse has built into it this feeling (touch each horse like they’re the best schooled horse in the world). However, if right now, today, your horse can’t meet you there, then the immediate means must be in the horses favour. If you want to ride from your seat, but you get on your horse and they’re dashing off and out of balance regardless of what you do with your body; then you are going to have to teach them to ‘refer to your seat’ rather than just hoping they’ll work it out. You can spend a long time with horses dashing off and out of balance if you’re leaving it to them to work out. They weren’t designed to carry us after all.

If you would like the ‘end’ to be a horse who is in self-carriage, softly at the end of the reins with a mobile jaw - but right now they’re dumping half a tonne onto the bit, or going around with their ears 3 foot about yours , then riding around with low, still hands isn’t going to get either of you anywhere fast. This is where learning to use your hands in an educated fashion (up, sideways, or forwards, never back or down) is essential right now. In the moment, the means may look messy and gross (ever seen anyone doing action-reaction in canter?) but it’s what your horse needs right now that matters. The end will come when the horse understands and can offer it. Dreaming of the end, without providing the means, rarely works out in the horses best interest.

This weekend I taught a novice rider on a big weak, ISH. We could all see that this horse would benefit from having a longer spine and releasing tension through his back. Having this horse in a free moving neck extension is without doubt the end goal we’re looking for. But right now, this horse is so weak, with a rider who can’t easily balance him. If he was allowed even a smidgen too long (the ‘end’ we’re seeking) he would stumble and trip. Today, prioritising his balance had to come first, and this meant keeping him in a less attractive but far more functional medium position. A halfway house which provided the means for both him and the rider to find their balance and gain confidence in movement. Tomorrow will come when it comes.

The means often looks messy, even ugly. We don’t like this phase, the 'right-now-what-does-your-horse-need' means. We want the polished end. We want it to feel good to us (and if we’re honest, look good to others). But what horses want is help right now, in this moment. They don’t care how it looks; they just want to understand the assignment and feel better in their body and minds stride to stride. The end will come when the horse is ready.

I have found, constantly remembering that the means is not the end. is one of the most helpful things I can bring to my horsemanship.

In this photo my hands are very hight as my young, big moving horse needs the bit clearly in the corners of his lips in order that he doesn't feel constrained from going forward. This also means he can use his JCB bucket like head to balance. In the 'end' my hands will be much lower, but right now, keeping his tongue, neck and front end free are far more important than how it looks to onlookers.

02/12/2025

Over in the S & S membership group this week we are delighted to welcome Larri Davidson Bowes to talk about 'clicker training for life'.

I am not a clicker trainer, but many members of the membership group are, and wanted to know more about how to develop this skill; the pitfalls to consider, and how you can use it for 'more' than essential care. I looked around for someone who can demonstrate this skill in action, and was soooo pleased when Larri said she would come along to talk with us!

Larri runs a rehab and track system in Wales and has worked with many horses who need support mentally and physically. She also starts and brings on young horses and creates great ridden partnerships. She is going to share with us how clicker training has helped her and these horses, and how members might integrate it into their relationships with their own horses.

You're not too late to join her and the many other amazing Guest speakers we have during the winter months. Link in the comments.

02/12/2025

Looking forward to joining Books & Bourbon Equestrian Club - The Whiskey & Wisdom Report on the 14th of the month to talk about my book!

Tonight’s book review for 2025 BBEC is Riding in Release by Kate Sandel. Deep power point tonight 43 pages!!! 🙂

02/12/2025

Call me upon that cable.

I have just watched the brilliant documentary 'Man on Wire', about the crazy and daring and incredible tightrope walk between the Twin Towers, planned and executed by Philippe Petit and his team of equally bonkers friends,

Having planned for months, they snuck their way up one tower with much mischief en route, and then fired an arrow from one roof to the next. They first fed fishing line, then string ,and finally cable from their tower to the other. Then, with more willpower than strength, they managed to tighten this huge amount of cable across the New York skyline, so that Petit could step up on to the edge of that building. He got there and said, 'Call me upon that cable'. He HAD to step out.

I believe he walked 8 times back and forth between these towers, before the Police said they were going to send a helicopter to scoop him up if he didn't stop.

On his return to terra firma, and the confines of a police car, all everyone kept asking was, 'But Why?'. Which the Frenchman and his team could only really smile at as a question; why would you not? His girlfriend said he likened each day to a work of art.

Because sometimes it is very hard to explain why you do something, for no other reason than you love to do that thing, Even though is brings no trophies or accolades, or money. It requires huge amounts of hard work, and time and investment, and you may not actually make it from one tower to the next. It has no guarantees and a huge commitment to something which really serves no purpose that can be seen by anyone who doesn't understand 'Why' you would be drawn to it.

Yet, many of us, for reasons known only to us, day after day, hear ourselves saying 'Call me upon that cable' and step out, yet again.

01/12/2025

There’s Knowing, and then there is Taking Action.

Earlier this year I ran a course with my friend Di, who is a coach. A very good one, as it goes. We called this course ‘Becoming Unstuck', as it was aimed at people who found themselves stuck. Or plateauing. Or doing the same thing over and over again. Or knowing they wanted to change something, but not knowing what on earth that next best step looked like.

And as a surprise side effect, Di went and got herself unstuck with one of her own horses. A very lovely Rocky Mountain, who had sat - not doing very much at all - in the field for many years. Of course it is a fine life for a horse to stay in a field with some friends, but they often end up overweight, and even bored. This was the case with this chap.

This situation initially arose because this horse, Desi, got quite poorly. And following this, for several years he and Di kind of got stuck. She had a long story about what he couldn’t do; and now he was older and very green, and she didn’t know what to do. And because all this time that had passed she wasn’t sure she was up to the task, and on and on . This meant he continued to sit in the field, and Di looked the other way and thought of every reason to confirm the story she had in relation to this horse.

Of course, she didn’t know this is what she was doing. None of us ever do - but we can all do it.

She sent me a message today about how a friend of hers had just ridden this horse out on a hack, and how good he was, and how much her friend loved him. 6 months ago, this horse had barely been sat upon, and that was a very few times (several years ago), and he would not leave the yard, even on foot.

It is easy to forget how far you have come when you see something every day, so I reminded Di of what incredible progress her and this lovely horse had made. I asked her what brought about the change in her? A change which has resulted in her being able to casually say that her friend has just hacked out on Desi And she replied, ‘Well there is a difference between knowing and taking action’. And what she had started to do, was take some action.

This was facilitated by the work we were doing with the most excellent bunch of coachees, who were all running ‘experiments’ of their own. Di had begun to run an experiment too, and it has brought her and Desi to a very, very different place.

She moved from an outcome based approach which kept leaving her feeling as if she was falling short, and therefore not even starting . Instead she started doing things with her horse in a ‘Let’s get curious’ mindset. This involved asking questions such as, ‘What do I observe?’ ‘What hypothesis do I want to test out in light of this?’, ‘What did I learn’ and ‘What am I going to do next?

Sounds simple, and really it is. But as Di says, there is is a difference between knowing and taking action.

There comes a point where we need to pause the endless gathering of information, reading of books or posts, watching of clinics, and attending of lessons even; and take our learning into our own hands. Taking action.

Sometimes we realise we are way more remarkable than we could ever have given ourselves credit for.

30/11/2025

Great points and something I am constantly chewing on. Thanks Amy Skinner Horsemanship

Why is the horse struggling?

The horse could have a physical issue. It could be a genetic condition - that is becoming increasingly common, sadly, due to unscrupulous breeding practices.

But, sometimes, the most simple answer is the correct answer.

A few occasions that illustrate this point well:

-A horse who was being investigated by vets, saddle fitters, and other trainers to see if they could discover the reason the horse was "off." The saddle fitters tried six, seven, eight saddles on him in one session. He became irritated and reluctant to go forward, pinning his ears. Is this because the saddles became increasingly worse in fit, or due to the irration of constantly being stopped, messed with, fiddled with, and being asked to ride one sloppy lap with little direction before the next saddle fit change?

Several riders, possessing two very different styles of riding, tried this same horse. One found him to go fine after a bit of redirection of attention from the saddle fitting pandemonium. The other found the horse resistant, unsteerable, incapable of moving forward.

Is this a sign of lameness, or a confused irritated horse tired of being "tried" by everyone?

As you can see, diagnostics are not that simple. Even as this horse went on to veterinary diagnostics, x rays revealing not much, a vet lunging a horse on a circle possesses different lunging abilities than an accomplished and trained rider. Is the horse crooked and lame, or is the horse being lunged crooked and completely out of rhythm? Assessment is not as simple as it would seem.

Another occasion:

-a frustrated horse owner posts on a biomechanics group that her horse will not lunge to the right. She shares photos of the horse being lunged: counter bent, pulling to the outside. And photos of the horse free lunging with no tack: better alignment, happier expression. The comments explore every option: have you had her x rayed? Have you tried this bit, that trainer's methods, have you considered this or that supplement? Test for this, could be EPM, and so on. And yet, upon inspection of the photo, it is quite easy to see the horse's equipment is attached in a way that the line is pulling the horse to the outside, hence why the horse lunges fine loose and not well attached to equipment.

Does this horse have physical issues? it's possible ,but it's quite likely this moment is easily fixed by a tack adjustment.

In no way am I saying investigation is not necessary. But let's not forget skill, tact, good equipment and good use of said equipment, understanding how to use the seat and aids well, and so on. I can't tell you how many "lame" horses I've met who were in fact not lame at all, hence why they were not responding to treatments - what they needed was better, more correct riding, or a few little adjustments in management, and so on.

So in seeking how to help horses, keeping a well rounded view is essential. Don't toss out your diagnostics when you need them, and keep considering what could be lurking deeper - but don't lose sight of feel, good handling, good riding, and common sense as our first line of defense against lameness.

30/11/2025

It was the final Soft and Sound clinic of the year at the wonderful Ayton PRE East Beere Farm, and it felt like such a privilege to see so many partnerships progress and develop.

I am ever thankful for everything I have learned with Philippe Karl's School of Légèreté UK, because without this philosophy and approach I would be very lost. It is a delight to be able to share this knowledge with so many dedicated students.

Thank you to Ginny Banks for this sweet write up.

"Yesterday I had the best ride on my 7-year-old horse since the day he was first started, and it’s entirely thanks to being shown the path of classical riding by my brilliant instructor, Kate Sandel of Soft and Sound. Through her teaching in the French School of Lightness, the École de Légèreté, Kate has helped me understand how to work with softness, balance, and true partnership.

The changes in my horse have been remarkable—he feels more relaxed, more confident, and more expressive—and the changes in me have been just as profound. Today’s ride was the clearest expression yet of what this approach can create: harmony, lightness, and a horse who offers his best because he feels good in his body and his mind.

I’m deeply grateful for Kate’s guidance and for the beautiful way this philosophy is shaping our journey together. Thank you Kate. "

28/11/2025

One thing which has surprised me in recent years is how very effective on-line lessons can be. I have witnessed extraordinary progress made by students who have used this format to learn.

Critical to the success of this medium is the watching of oneself - and then ,with the support of a teacher - understanding what you see and what your next best step might be. I have seen students make incredible transformations with relatively little input, because of this self lead learning.

Until now I have only opened this on-line learning opportunities to members of Soft and Sound. However, having seen again and again how well it works, I would like to open a small number of places to the wider world. And this is your last chance to access this at 2025 prices!

How it works.

You record yourself with your horse - this can be about anything, from leading and ground work, mobility and lateral work, to collection and changes, and anything in between. Nothing is too basic, I promise.

This doesn't need to be long, it doesn't need to be professional quality - we both just need to see you and your horse!

Then we meet up on line and talk about what you saw, what I saw and what might be useful to look at next. Sometimes I will send you links to videos which might guide you.

Then, in a few weeks time (or at a time to suit you) we go again,

You can book your slot here, https://softandsound.org/clinics-lessons/private-tuition-on-line/

Please do contact me with any questions.

27/11/2025

Catherine Marshall is now taking applications for a new Legerete instructor training clinic in Scotland.

26/11/2025

Would you like to develop YOUR skills, knowledge and insights, with horses who can show you the way?

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It can be hard to learn when your own horse is also learning. We often need to know ‘more’ in order to help our own horse, but can’t do in the situation we’re in. Arrghhh, a vicious cycle which is hard to break. Thankfully, that’s where my horses can help. They are experienced in many aspects of ground work, and are able to ‘give you a hand’ as you learn. They can assist you with foundational skills such as developing high quality leading, through the study of horsemanship, to liberty work, gymnastic lunging and in-hand training. Students who have spent time with them always hugely appreciate the opportunity to work with safe, gracious, knowledgeable horses - who provide time and space to develop their own skills.

A recent group of students gave this feedback

‘It’s first time ever that I’ve been somewhere to learn this stuff without my own horses in tow and what a revelation it was and what a freedom it was too.

Here are some of my takeaways:-

I didn’t have their back story, you know the stories we tell ourselves about why our own horses can’t do something, or are crap at doing something else. I had none of that and it was LIBERATING. Truly.

As you can imagine, Kate’s horses are masters. They all have such a cool dude vibe about them and each are very, very different. I had three sessions over the course of two days and got to work with all three, and each session with multiple horses.

That was the best bit where you got to learn how to find the key to all three of them. Where do you get that chance anywhere else?

You can bungle things and it really doesn’t matter. They are all so forgiving and giving.’

If you would like to join us this winter, we have indoor spaces, a huge outdoor arena, and access to the beauty of Dartmoor. Individual or group sessions available, with the possibility to book 1 or 2 day options. .

£65 for members, £70 for non-members per session . Love Kate and the boys x

26/11/2025

‘He’s just trying to get out of work’.

If you do a brief scroll of reels which include horses ‘misbehaving’ this is common response from onlookers. ‘Naughty little devil, he’s just trying to get out of work’. ‘Don’t get off when he does that, you’ll teach him how to get out of work’.

Every time I read this I have to stamp on my own internal keyboard warrior, and tell her to mind her own business.

What I actually want to heatedly reply is, ‘Then the question should be why is the work so terrible that he wants to get out of it?’

I mean, there is another question, which is where did you get the idea that horses are inherently lazy? Because I think that might be on you, not them. But that’s for another post.

Just like us, a horse may choose to opt out of something he doesn’t enjoy. Therefore, if you genuinely believe your horse is continually trying to find ways to duck out of this assignment with you, then self reflection might be the order of the day. Oh dear, I woke up bossy.

Things horses don’t like that they are within their rights to say ‘No thank you’ to include, but are not limited to;

- Being ridden between a driving leg/seat and a constraining hand (the modern day half halt, what a stinker).
- Confusing or contradictory aids.
- Punishment (every study shows it doesn’t work, and yet when our knowledge runs out, we so often turn to it) .
- Riders who are out of balance and using the reins to hang on. Or otherwise can’t manage their own body.
-Humans with a large amount of emotional need which a horse can’t be responsible for.
- Pain. Poor saddle fit, uncomfortable feet, digestive upset.
- Having their nose pulled towards their chest so that they can’t see, breathe or balance well. This doesn’t have to be major for it to be experienced as grim by a horse. Many riders have a horse in a perpetual state of overflexion and aren’t aware.
- Endless circles.
- Being out of balance. That’s why slopping along on long reins may also not be in a horses best interest.
- A rider who never pays any attention to how a horse feels and just focuses on what they must do.
- Being asked to perform at a level they’re not physically fit enough for.
- Being asked to perform while you’re perpetually on the forehand - another form of being out a balance, but usually because you’re being held in an outline.

I need to stop. But those are just starters for ten

So really, really, if you think your horse is ‘Trying to get out of work’ the question should be why? And as ever, that one sits with us.