Soft and Sound

28/02/2025

Building on what your horse loves.

You can’t turn a sows ear into a silk purse. Maybe not, but you could leave it on the sow and let it do a perfectly good job of being her ear.

Some horses just don’t enjoy the jobs we give them. And then we think they’re dull or lazy or opinionated. Rather than taking stock of whether they’re just inappropriately employed. For the bleak year I worked in a building society I was all of these things, and some. Other people who worked there enjoyed their jobs as it played to their strengths, but I began to have panic attacks before work.

This can be true for some horses too. They’re just signed up by the wrong company; find them a job they can do and can enjoy, and they’ll happily give you everything they’ve got.

Many moons ago we ran a community project here on the farm for young people. It was a bloody brilliant thing. Except for one horse, one we had bought especially for the project . But he just did not dig it. He did not enjoy being fussed and petted and groomed. He was not really into groundwork. He did not love being lead slowly round with someone on board.

Until the day we collectively decided to try ‘horse boarding’ - otherwise known as strapping a skateboard to a horse in harness and hanging on. THEN he came to life. This activity played to all his strengths, both physical and mental. He knew how to do this in his DNA and he was all in.

Not long afterwards we sold him to a horse logger who could give him a life and a job that really suited him.

My youngest horse is a really good guy who tries his best to say yes to anything. For a variety of reasons being in the arena is on his ‘O.K I’ll do it list’, but not his ‘Yes please I love it’ list.

A couple of days ago I took him up on the moor - right now it’s probably the slidiest I’ve ever known it. It’s deep mud and very poached, But to him it’s a playground. Apparently it’s very unusual to get gaiting in the fusions, but gait he does. And when we hit a particularly treacherous piece of ground he assumes hovercraft mode and we zoom our way over the top. It is still such a novel sensation for me that I can’t stop laughing and if ever a horse could say ‘I told you I was good at this’, well he would.

I wonder how often, if we took an honest look at the actual horse in front of us rather than the one we want them to be, we might find them something to do which they can excel in rather than just tolerate?

You may have such an example in your mind already, please share if you do.

25/02/2025

Another lovely share, this time from Sophie Phillips and Jesse.

23/02/2025

One of the safest things you can teach any hacking horse...

Two of my big loves are the natural world and sitting atop a horse. Combine those two things - well it doesn't get much better than that.

Some horses take to exploring the world with their human like the proverbial duck. They love to get out and about, are curious and bold and feel very secure in the company of their rider. This is almost always as a result of the foundations we have provided and all the attention to detail we have paid. However, there is no doubt some horse’s personality lends itself to this, they just do enjoy that kind of job.

Other horses require a lot more input from their human in order to feel really good about leaving their herd, leaving their home and heading out the into the world as part of a herd of two. There are many things we can do to support these horses take guidance from us and as a result feel much better about it all. We can show them what 'to do' rather than just 'what not to do'. This usually starts with knowing what they are aware of and being able to draw and direct their attention. There are many different ways of doing this, and I love this particular aspect of horsemanship. Can I know where my horse’s thoughts are and can I bring them back to his own body and our partnership?

And, they will tell you with their body how they are feeling and what they are thinking. We all know that sensation of a horse raising their neck, dropping their back and dropping the contact. They may be rushing, or slowing, or spooking or some varation on that theme, but their body usually looks like a shortening of neck, a shortening of stride and general tightness. When a horse drops the rein contact in this way - what we usually do is shorten the reins. We may even put a martingale on to stop them raising their heads. Both these things, as the great Dr Deb would have us know are just, ‘Adding fuel to the fire’. It is pretty clear the damage that martingales do, you only have to look at a horses body to see that story. But rapidly shortening the reins in order that there aren’t great hanging loops of nothing , well this feels instinctual and automatic.

And it certainly was for me until I was shown an alternative, one which is much more in the favor of the horse, and in turn in favor of the rider. And that is knowing how to ask a horse how to extend their neck and remake the contact – but with longer reins. This is such a game changer and one which not only creates a much, much safer hacking partnership but one which is also much more beneficial to your horse’s brain and body.

Teaching a horse to lengthen their neck, tighten the reins and reach forwards to the bit, re-making the contact with the rider has got me out of many a tight spot. I do not want to ride horses out and about who do not know this well, even nice minded ‘solid’ hacking horses. Because without it, I am left with only one option if a horse contracts, tightens or inverts – and that is to shorten my reins. Which in turn usually serves only to make horses even tighter and even more contracted.

I learned about neck extension and how to actively ask for it as part of my training in the French school with a focus on good posture and balance. But I use it on a daily basis hacking horses out and about as we explore the world together. To my mind, it is the best piece of safety equipment I have at my disposal and you can’t buy it in a shop.

22/02/2025

Another great share from a local rider. What a change in the rider and the horse - well done team!

18/02/2025

What a great share from Bryony Close, a truly dedicated student of the horse.

16/02/2025

Are you looking for something delicious to fill your EarPods with?

Well, Episode 13 of the Kate and Kathleen Beckham podcast - featuring Lee Mclean of Keystone Equine - is ready and waiting for your lucky ears right now!

Go track it down on your favorite podcast platform right now! Here are a couple of starters for ten.

Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5I8L64kTenlZV0tt9xCTxp?si=6486189f23b84d25

Apple
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/kate-and-kathleen-a-podcast-about-humans-and-horses/id1765966770?i=1000692806266

Thank you so much for coming to chat with us Lee - we loved it!

14/02/2025

A real Valentine's Day treat!
August 15th-17th

This summer we will be welcoming Edit Kappel for the first time in the U.K: at the wonderful venue of Ayton PRE in Devon. A 3 day Légèreté and Liberty clinic for a small number of rider and horse combinations, as well as spectators.

Edit is a quite extraordinary rider, trainer and horsewoman who brings a rare set of skills and experience. She is a level 2 Instructor in the Ecole de Légèreté, a passionate and brilliant Liberty trainer and is very experienced in coaching riders to improve their seat.

She has extensive experience of working with young horses at the renowned National Lipizzaner Stud in Szilvásvarad, and possess a deep understanding of their unique needs and development stages.

Edit is also a member of the Hungarian Working Equitation team, and has achieved notable results in this highly demanding and multifaceted discipline.

Over half the rider places have already been taken so if you would like a chance to ride with Edit, don't delay! You can book a rider or spectator place here

https://form.jotform.com/250242371515347?fbclid=IwY2xjawIcc6NleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHa8rzi7xv9Gwt7PvCBNXxf7OBI15v5Jri5KO8vyDIjyyPw6cCHF7oM6DAQ_aem_bNk-JmfcMiSfijcD6JQXWQ

12/02/2025

We have just launched a 'Becoming Unstuck' - a coaching course for horse riders, for people who want to make a change but don't know yet how to take that next positive step. They know they want things to be different with their horses but don't know where to start, so stay the same - even if it doesn't feel good or make sense.

This course is built on the foundation stones of:

- Community
- Awareness
- Taking action

The holy trinity of bringing about change.

My co-facilitator is a highly experienced and brilliant coach, and someone I am lucky enough to call a friend. Di Neale has been working in the field of systems change for many years and is a remarkable asker of questions. The first iteration is for Soft and Sound members only - but it will be available to everyone in the future.

I wrote this post a few years ago, and it just come up in my memories. Somewhat fortuitously....

I have been thinking recently about why so many of us feel like we ‘stall out’ with our horsemanship and riding, and can’t seem to get to grips with what to do and when to do it . We get stuck and don’t know how to get unstuck. We go around the same loop which doesn't result in masses of progress. I say this from bitter experience both on my own behalf and that of people who study with me.

And this is the conclusion I’ve come to. It’s not our fault, it’s the way we’ve been taught to learn. Many of us have been educated to believe that someone else has the answer. I’m from a family of teachers and work two days for a university, so I’m not anti-education. I understand it’s a privilege that many people around the world would love to have access to .

However, it may also have lead us to believe that someone else always knows best. That the person at the front of the class has the answers and we should turn our power over to them; waiting for them to tell us what to do. I look back on how I learned to be successful when studying for my degree and to a large extent it was rote learning. I was good at exams as I have a skill for remembering information. What didn’t happen was turning that information into my own. It was someone else’s knowledge that I could trot out in a way that got me good grades.

I know as a riding instructor I have been very guilty of telling people what I think they should do. I can see what needs doing to improve the situation so I’ll just tell you. All too often I’ll even leap in and do it for you, as that would make things a lot easier. But, usually only in that moment. What is the point in me being able to do it, if the knowledge hasn’t been owned by the person?

The quickest route - telling the person what to do/doing it for them - does not very often result in them being super sure about why they are doing that ‘thing’.

What do we with horses? Pose them questions and give them time and space to find the answers. What do we do with people? Tell them the answers.

Therefore, I’m apologising to my students for the past me that told you what I thought far too often. And I apologise in advance for turning it back over to you, as I am aware this will feel foreign and unusual and is likely to allow you to make many, many more mistakes.

Because I know that its my own personal mistake making which has lead me to the knowledge which I now own for myself. And that my best learning has come in between the lessons where incredible teachers like Philippe Karl have given me their knowledge. It’s the time between these sessions, delving around in it by myself, which elicit the brightest gems . The most recent clinic in which I was being taught was one of my worst ever, as my body was in a state of total shock. I can’t even remember riding. However, coming back and watching the videos afterwards has provided me with insights that are now proving invaluable.

When you go out to your horse can you view it as a learning experiment rather than having to get it right, or get to the 'end'. What did my horse do and what did I do in return?
What question did I ask my horse and how did he respond?
If that wasn’t the answer I was looking for - what then?

Other people can give you the tools and information, only you can make it your own knowledge.

https://softandsound.org/blog/

11/02/2025

During the colder bleaker months, I offer private lessons at Ayton PRE in Devon. This means we can learn in the luxury of an indoor school, with an excellent surface, stabling for your horses, and the best yard toilet in the U.K!

All partnerships are welcome, backed or unbacked, rehabilitation or restarting, problem solving or the development of collection. Lessons can be ridden or ground work, in-hand or lunging.

You can book via the website, but please do get in touch with any questions.

Dates are

Feb Sun 23rd

March Mon 17th

March Thu 20th

April Fri 4th

Looking forwards to seeing you there!

10/02/2025

Another episode of our podcast is up, and this week Kathleen Beckham and I talk about something which is very much on our minds right now - horse shopping.

Inspired by a FB live I did for the Soft and Sound Membership group we dive into our must haves, but actually much more importantly, our must nots.

If you're looking for a new riding partner currently this might be very relevant, but even if you're not, hopefully it will be interesting.

You can find us by searching 'Kate and Kathleen' on most podcast platforms, and here is the link to two of the biggies. Don't forget to subscribe!

Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0QmZLJMcpIotwtfqR7gP5G?si=2JWs0gCvSFeQya8nN9TWTQ

Apple
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/kate-and-kathleen-a-podcast-about-humans-and-horses/id1765966770?i=1000690826504

10/02/2025

Heartbreak with horses, it's pretty much built in.

I have been chatting to a couple of horse friends recently about our shared desire to avoid future heartbreak with horses. The fear of having to experience grief - in the many forms that it can come with horses - can feel so painful we may decide never to walk through that particular valley again.

The last time a horse of mine died I was told over the phone by my friend, just as I was about to board a plane home. This was in a six month period where my Mum and dog also died. It turns out becoming familiar with grief doesn't in any way lessen its impact. I sat between two other passengers, people I have never met, and cried (and I mean really cried, that not breathing, snotty sobbing, water pouring from your eyes crying) all the way back to the U.K. Neither of them looked at me or spoke the whole way back - our collective ability to know what to do when someone is upset being as highly tuned as it is.

I continued to cry like this all the way across the underground and then all the way from Paddington to Exeter, and then in the car back to Dartmoor. Then for the next few days. And then sporadically for months. Years later I still feel my heart go a little sideways when I see a picture of Tycoon and sometimes have to take a quick, short breath to re-steady myself. I have become something of an expert in death and have some understanding now of how it plays out. That adage about it not going away, but other things coming back around it - well that's pretty much the truth. From my perspective anyway. It's always there, life just reappears to surround it.

And that's not the only heartbreak that can result from a life with horses. They can get injured and we have to retire them, smashing dreams of camps, and fun rides and clinics. We may discover the young horse we were all full of optimism and hope for has something physically challenging which means the future we had mapped out will never be possible. Maybe that day comes when your trail riding friend of many years tells you those hills are too steep, and please can you hang up their saddle for the last time.

Each time, it breaks our heart.

And.

WE DO IT ANYWAY.

It is likely that most of us will outlive the animals in our lives. I sit here typing with two cats and two dogs next to me (there is never enough room on the sofa), all of whom I am likely to outlive . I can look at that future sadness and feel the spikes of pain and wonder if I will cope. But, if the alternative is not to have them in my life, I cannot choose that option.

The only way to guarantee there will be no potential heartbreak with horses, is not to have them. We can negate that certain future by walking away from the present possibility. And I do know people who have made that choice - we all have to come to our own peace about it.

However, for me, and many of the people I know, we take the heartbreak - because we know without it there will be no joy. There will be no companionship. If we want the gallops along the beach we also have to take the grief. It's really, of course, (no one here needs me to spell this out) what all of life is about. You don't get to choose just one side of the coin.

As I contemplate decisions about future horses who might join our herd, along with that comes the absolute certainty of future good byes. That bit is the given.

And yet, we choose it anyway.

It will never be enough time with a horse we love, but I would rather have that too short time, than not have it at all.

09/02/2025

A huge thank you to South Brent Riding club for inviting me to talk to their members about, 'How does a horse learn AKA What kind of animal is a horse'.

It was so great to meet so many interested and passionate people who were happy to give up their Sunday evening to listen to me talk, and talk, and talk...You were extremely generous with your ears and I appreciated the positive feedback.

I think we raised quite a bit of money for Sirona Therapeutic Horsemanship, - who also understand a lot about what is going on between horses and humans.

A big thank you to Caroline Devenish who has been a much appreciated promoter of my clinics for the club for several years,

08/02/2025

Have you got something to share of your experience of attending clinics or having lessons in the Ecole de Legerete?

We would love to hear how it's impacted you and your horse! Please follow the link below and comment on the post.

Learning in the tradition of the Ecole de Légèreté.

There are many things we could do with our limited time, resources and finances. For horse people, taking a break from the care of their animals comes often at great cost and compromise. Getting time away from work, family, caring responsibilities and horse care - well, that is a big deal.

Why then do so many people take that short, precious bit of time and spend it sitting in a cold (or hot) indoor school watching other people ride for eight hours a day? They could be at the beach, or by the pool, or in a spa. Rather than wearing all their clothes and sitting on a hard chair with utter focus and absorption about the intricacies, detail and application of this tradition?

Many of these people have been coming for years - traveling across the country to watch and learn, for a decade or so. Bringing their hot water bottles or fan, their notepads and sandwiches.

The love of the horse does a quite remarkable thing to a human!

And we are enormously grateful to the dedicated, passionate, kind and supportive community of spectators who attend the Légèreté Teacher Training courses in the U.K. Without you all, there would be no teacher training: this really is a whole village approach to ethical horse training.

Without a group of interested people who want to learn and share this knowledge, there will be no bigger change. By taking this learning back to your own horse - maybe booking a lesson with an instructor - you too become another advocate for respectful methods of horse training. Change through positive example really is the most effective means.

The wider and far reaching impact that spectators and students have is something quite remarkable.

Over the next few weeks we are going to be asking this wider community to share 'Why Légèreté?'. What brought you to a clinic or an instructor in the first place? What differences has it made to you and your horse, what insights has it provided, and what skills has it given you both?

If you are one of the longstanding spectators of the teacher training - what brings you back year after year? We will be sharing interviews and case studies

Please comment below to tell us the difference Légèreté. has made to you and your horse, whether you have audited the teacher training clinics, or had lessons with an instructor.

Thank you to you all.
Love from, The U.K school of Légèreté

08/02/2025

Be careful of the Good Horse.

I have a young Rocky Mountain Horse cross, he’s 50% RMH, the rest is PRE/Luso/Arab - he’s actually registered PRE fusion. And I’ve met and worked with a lot of Rockies; they’re becoming increasingly popular largely due to their fabulous colour schemes, comfortable rideability, and what they’re most famously known for - their temperament. They're renowned for being good natured, kind, human focused and easy going. They often get described as the dogs of the horse world, equine golden retrievers.

But they are not dogs. They’re horses. And we need to keep this in the forefront of our minds. Words are important.

And just because you can put your granny/toddler on them when they’re newly backed - it doesn’t mean you should.

Because what I see a lot in these horses, and other quiet minded, easy going horses, is they too get worried and concerned. They also feel overwhelmed and confused, but they keep it on the inside. They take it into themselves and over time that takes its toll. We get to ride and do things with them, when really we shouldn’t. Not if we were really paying attention to the horse.

These kind of horses are much less likely to choose flight and more inclined to go to freeze. They’re less likely to spook and more likely to slow down. Now, there is a lot to be said for a horse who chooses to go slower when he’s worried, but it means we may miss the feeling which sits behind this. We ‘don’t mind’ what the horse does - so we don’t notice how he feels.

These horses become ‘kick along’ not because they’re any less inclined to move than any other horse, but because when they’re unsure they slow down. And if we don’t notice and start using our legs, that insidious little habit is instilled. They’re actually trying to tell us something, but we just enjoy the quiet.

These kind of horses all too often drag a little when lead. Or in some cases, drag a lot. And again that’s because their chosen go to is ‘if in doubt go stiller’ and if we don’t notice, before we know it, they’ve constantly quietly got the hand brake on.

And with these kind of horses it’s really easy to give them way more responsibility than they are actually ready for. I could probably have sat on my RMH and ridden him out as a 3 year old with barely any training. His good nature would have carried us through.

Until it doesn’t.

Until the lack of preparation and understanding which I haven’t provided him with results in ‘something I didn’t see coming’. An unexpected bolt. Or, a growing internal disquiet in the horse. And bad internal feelings have to go somewhere, often ulcers - but their whole body can be impacted

It’s been a real challenge to make sure I’m paying just as much attention to the feelings of my RMH as my ‘wear it on your sleeve Luso’. When my little guys top lip is a tad tight that means something just as important to him as something much more dramatic from my Luso - it’s just easier to miss. When his feet get a tiny bit stuck I need to pay as much attention to that as Luso feet moving very fast. While the couple of slow steps don’t actually give me any problem, they’re showing me that HE has a problem.

There is a huge amount to be said for these types of horses and I’m very grateful for mine. But I try not to take it for granted.

06/02/2025

Well yet again we chat away about horses in this next episode of Kate and Kathleen. This time we answer a listeners question about the pros and cons of owning either one or multiple horses. It was a great thought provoker - so thank you.

If you would like us to talk about something which is on your mind, please do get in touch.

You can find this podcast by searching for Kate and Kathleen on most podcast platforms or here is a quick link (Don't forget to subscribe!)

Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/66xz4ulfe9O5IYEzBLYwWf?si=eda712903e694183

Apple
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/kate-and-kathleen-a-podcast-about-humans-and-horses/id1765966770

It is always a pleasure to hang out with my dear friend Ethos Equine and Kathleen Beckham, I hope you join us.