Soft and Sound

08/12/2024

You could sell this horse you know?

This is something I say to students more often than you might expect, and it can be met with a look as if I’ve suggested they eat their own toes. It’s as if giving voice to the option that you sell a horse is a huge implication of failure, or lack, or cold heartedness. And it’s not.

I’m always saying it lightly, because it’s worth at least putting out on the table. We can find other softer ways of describing it, such as rehoming or finding a new dancing partner or whatever helps us live with the fact that we ‘own’ another living soul. And, we can also take a long hard look at these two possibilities.

- Is this horse one I really, really need in my life?

- Am I the human this horse really, really needs in theirs?

Having horses in your life is amazing, iwonderful, fulfilling and life giving. And it’s really bloody hard work. For many of us it takes up all our money, spare time and energy. To my mind this means that trying to ensure you have the very best match you possibly can is only sensible. If you’re terrified every time you go to ride, for instance, it may not be that you’ve lost all confidence.- you may just have the wrong horse.

For a horse, having humans in their life can be a tough call. Especially if that human wants them to do things which aren’t really their strong suit. Or needs them to live in a way that doesn’t really suit them. Or is scared of the power you (horse) has that they didn’t really recognise on purchase.

Or maybe the two of you just don’t really get along. Not all horses and humans are matches made in heaven. We’re not designed to be in long term relationships with everyone.

And sometimes if I ask someone this question it clears up for them that there is absolutely no question about this. They want this horse above all else and are now really sure of that fact. By considering the question we can get very clear about the answer.

(It’s still worth considering if this horse wants you, but that can take a bit more soul searching).

I have asked myself this question a few times about Des, and I am always met with a big fat ‘That is not even a consideration’ in response from the inside of me. It’s not on the table, ever. I’d live in a tent before I’d sell that horse, etc etc, you get the gist.

In turn, I’ve had to commit to getting my s**t together if I’m going to be the human he would like to hang out with.

That’s not always been true about other horses., The good grey horse Fuego was with me for a decade and I am hugely grateful to him. He’s been a big favourite for many people. Reliable, kind, easy to have around, sweet natured, good with other horses, kids and dogs. He’s saintly. But ultimately my horse - no….Thats why he’s gone on loan to a human who I hope will feel about him the way I feel about Des.

If you’re a student of mine and I ask you this question it doesn’t mean I think you should sell your horse. But I figure each of us should be quietly checking in concerning this every now and again. As much for the sake of the horse as for us…

N.b Des often puts me on Human Deals, but I’ve got his password so I just delete the ad

07/12/2024

You know you’re someone special when you have a tonic made JUST for you! Desmondo thinks it’s only right and proper…

On the road to recovery many people have come to Des’s aid. Now Rhoni from Horseward has stepped in creating him his very own tonic. It’s even got an optimistic sun on the label…

He’s such a little spoiltins who has no idea the lengths humans go to.

Thanks to for supporting us so brilliantly!

05/12/2024

Tonight, over in the Soft and Sound membership. Rowan Working Horses is coming to talk with us about her working with logging horses.

Kate was one of the people I interviewed and discuss in the post below , I can't wait to hear more about her life shared with these incredible equines.

I was recently fortunate enough to interview people who make their living alongside horses. Several were horse loggers, working with huge equines to heave logs out of extreme landscapes as part of sustainable forestry operations. They may spend weeks in the woods together, sleeping and living alongside their horses.

Some were partnering with horses to manage herds of cows. Long days in the saddle, out in all weathers, their lives bound together with the land they move through.

Why choose this way of being and working when there is so much in modern life that tells us to seek out ease and comfort? Promises from tech giants that AI will mean none of us have to work or do anything hard ever again. If that is the holy grail of progress, why set out to do something so very difficult?

These humans - and it was all women I interviewed - have made a different choice. One which entangles them with their equine partners day after day, year after year. And while it is clear that they may not have ‘ease’ according to modern definitions, they do have a sense of peace. An aligning of inside and outside. They all spoke of purpose, contentment, interest, passion. As well as blisters; heartache, financial strain.

They told me that they while they got to do a lot of moving they also got to do a lot of waiting. And in the waiting they observed a lot, felt a lot, learned a lot. They got to spend hours doing not very much with another animal, and that was not a waste of anyone’s time,

Having invested in high quality training and horsemanship - because they are dealing in matters of life and death - they then got to enjoy turning responsibilities back over to their horses. They described feeling so proud of what those horses could do, in awe of their intelligence, power, might and speed. They were clear that they could not do this work without the horses, they depended on them. Imagine that. Maybe you can.

They feel the impact of changing one tiny thing over ‘here’ as it ripples all the way over ‘there’. Working with a large team of heavy horses will show you that. It will remind you that you are not an island and that each element is part of a bigger whole. There is an ecosystem that they exist in and they don’t take that lightly.

Communities will come to see a horse working where they wouldn’t bother with a tractor. Children and parents and grandparents will ask to stroke the soft neck of a mighty giant and talk a bit more about this wildflower meadow restoration than they otherwise might. Horses harrowing elicits a very different response than a machine doing the same job.

When I asked one horsewoman if she considered her horses her colleagues she laughed and said, ‘No, I guess they’re an extension of me’. As if I was asking her about her own arm.

In a day and age where we have tech and industry to do pretty much everything it is quite something to be reminded of what the human animal and horse animal have done together and can still do together. In a world where to all intents and purposes we don’t ‘need’ this, I wonder if in fact, we very much do.

Photo shows one of Kate Mobbs Morgan’s mighty equines, part of the Rowan Working Horses team.

Thank you to everybody who gave up their time to be interviewed. It meant a lot. .

03/12/2024

Well, we may not be the speediest but we are consistent!

Episode 8 of Kate and Kathleen - A podcast about Horses and Humans.

This time we begin what I am sure is going to be a wide ranging subject which will span many episodes - Women and Horses.

We feel we are pretty well qualified to talk about this!

You can find the episode here on Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0EQgXpUhABj4O79rzspIHu?si=HvTkZlKZSUm55qiMUOLsMw

Or here on Aople
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/kate-and-kathleen-episode-8-women-and-horses/id1765966770?i=1000679078370

Don't forget to Follow the show so you get the updates about new episodes.

With one of my favorite people ever Ethos Equine and Kathleen Beckham

03/12/2024

How could this not be a cracker?

Would it be too much to say this was one of my most favourite conversations I've been a part of?!

Thank you so much to everyone that joined us live for the first of our Christmas Conversations Series- it was really amazing to spend time with you all.

Best of all- you can catch the recording now on the Confident Rider Podcast which is available in all the usual places you listen to podcasts, or on my website (along with the video if you prefer!):

https://confidentrider.online/1-christmas-conversation-with-karen-rohlf-kathleen-beckham-barbra-schulte/

A massive thank you to Karen Rohlf, Kathleen Beckham, and Barbra Schulte. It was a gift to listen to what you had to share and to glean from your insights and compassion. I am humbled by your collective wisdom!

Happy listening everyone- would love to hear your thoughts!

xx Jane

Ethos Equine and Kathleen Beckham
Dressage Naturally with Karen Rohlf-Training, Clinics, Educational Material
Barbra Schulte

02/12/2024

Driving back from the Horsemanship Showcase - The Horsemanship Event of The Year last night across a pitch black Dartmoor, I caught sight of the huddles of ponies - dozing, eating and communing together.

I thought about how humans and horses have lived here together for thousands of years - our lives intertwined, our respective histories shaped by the other. Two species so different in many ways, and yet somehow forming partnerships and co-existing over the centuries. For sure, horses have often not had a choice, but that would be to play down how many wonderful things have happened between us.

What I enjoyed most about the weekend was just how much people bloody love horses. Still. Even when none of us need them to gather wood, or travel to market, or plough the fields. We want these creatures in our lives. just because of the essence of horse.

And I was struck over and over by how utterly incredible horses are at allowing us into their lives. While each of us may be drawn to different styles of training ,distinct approaches or ideas, and a variety of hats, saddles and other bits of kit; at the heart of it people just want to find a way to be with horses. Which is made possible by the incredible desire in the horse to get along, to find companionship, to want to feel OK. Their huge capacity to learn and keep trying is something to be immensely grateful for..

Pulling up to see the herd I share my life with, blinking in the dark as I turn on lights, crowding round to say hello, I was reminded that a life with horses may not be the easiest one, but for everyone there this weekend it is without a doubt the greatest gift.

29/11/2024

Off to the Horsemanship Showcase, today. No horse with me - they're too busy being a sick note or a just backed youngster.

However, I will be womanning the Legerete stand on and off throughout the weekend so do come along to say hello!

Good luck to my Legerete comrades who will be riding with Philippe Karl this weekend - we're cheering you on!

Horsemanship Showcase is Horsemanship Hub’s annual event - 30th November & 1st December 2024 at Bury Farm - LU7 9BT.

27/11/2024

Totally delighted to be invited along for a chat with Confident Rider with Jane Pike on her festive podcast why guests.
Can’t wait to listen to the many other conversations she’s going to be having with some fascinating people

25/11/2024

There are only so many things in life you can say yes to.

It’s really common for riders to feel frustrated at their perceived lack of progress, especially when they look ‘over there’ and see how far someone else has come compared to themselves.

However, the truth is that life is a series of choices - even if some of those are seemingly choice-less choices. Especially for women, and the many situations they find themselves in where if they don’t say ‘yes’ no one else will. Caring roles usually.

The ‘progress’ you’ve made with your horse usually correlates to how much time, effort and resources you’ve been able to allocate to that partnership. Most people who get extraordinarily brilliant with horses are often only saying ‘yes’ to things relating to horses. They may have got lucky and have money and grooms and a huge support network, but often not. Often it’s the sole thing in their life. It’s where everything they have goes, it is very rarely an easy, profitable or relaxing path. But, we just see the progress…

If instead , you’ve said ‘Yes’ to other things in life, like caring for elderly relatives, or working to pay the mortgage, or having time for friends and holidays, or volunteering in your community, or going back into education, or looking after 4 kids, or having spare time that doesn’t include horses - then your ‘progress’ may be relatively slower.

And, it is entirely appropriate and just the right amount of progress for where you are in the situation you’re in. It couldn’t be any other way, however frustrating that might feel.

Because life is just as much about what we say yes to as what we say no to. I spent most of my 30’s embroiled in caring for my Step Dad and Mun, both of whom got very ill, way too young. At the time I didn’t want to say yes to caring, it felt like a choice-less choice. I know it hugely detracted from a decade of my life where I could have been significantly ‘progressing’ with horses.

It would have been my Mum’s birthday today - and I’m glad I was forced into saying yes to her care. Looking back now, I don’t regret any of it.

And it turns out, my horses have no care for ideas of progress, they just enjoy people and animals and experiences that feel good to them,

25/11/2024

Looking forwards to seeing some of you next weekend

Why Légèreté in the context of horsemanship?

This coming weekend some of the Advanced Instructors will join Philippe Karl at the Horsemanship Showcase and you may be wondering why. What does French classical training have to do with horsemanship?

Well, a tradition of ‘horsemanship’ comes predominantly from the USA - borne out of the Californian horse working cultures which trace their roots all the way back to the arrival of the Spanish Conquistadors. And the French School has its history in the same place, a different trail ridden but the origins are very similar. There are books outlining this in more detail if you’re interested.

But more importantly than this, there is a set of shared principles, some of which you’ll hear Mr Karl discuss in person at the Showcase. These include;

- Understanding what kind of animal a horse is and playing to their physical and physiological strengths.
- Recognising their need for balance above all else, and not taking this away through restraining equipment or fixed physical positions.
- One aid for one response.
- No opposing aids.
- Position before action.
- Ensuring Balance, Relaxation and Impulsion are constantly recognised and played alongside each other.
- The belief that the only ‘position’ a horse can be asked for is one they can say no to.
- Being committed to interacting with a horses huge capacity for learning, rather than using force or constraint.
- Taking the time it takes in order that the horse feels really good about, understands, and can physically carry any requests
- Treating each horse as an individual and adapting our approach accordingly.
- Knowing that there is nothing other than ‘the basics’ - we just keep building on those foundations.
- First we go with the horse, then the horse goes with us, then we go together.

We hope you enjoy the many horse- human partnerships you’ll see next weekend and please do come to chat with us at the stand.

Photo shows Millie and Liana who will be participating in the demonstration of the foundational training.

24/11/2024

You’re just information gathering

A friend of mine is trying to work out some big life stuff. Where to live, what to do, which community to be a part of. A few months ago when she was panicking about making a decision I said to her that she’s just information gathering, and eventually the decision will make itself. She has repeated this back many times as something really useful she’s holding on to.
I mean, who knew anything I would say could be useful - right time, right place and all that.

However, this is something I’ve actually thought about a lot in relation to horses (of course…). And it’s something that stops me completely losing my proverbial when I’m trying to unpick what’s going on for the equines in my life.

It’s why I x-ray, scope and scan. Knowing the possible limitations of these modalities, but they are some form of information which I can gather. It’s common to witness people resisting these investigations - whereas I believe knowledge is power. You don’t ride an x-ray, but I do want to know what they reveal.

We can get annoyed with vets as they don’t provide the answer we need RIGHT NOW, however very often they’re working through a process of elimination. They’re ruling things in or out. A clear back and hock x-ray doesn’t tell you there was nothing wrong with your horse after all - it just tells you ‘that’ way of looking at a horse’s body has provided ‘this’ level of information.

It’s why I try things in a relatively (these days) methodical fashion . For instance, supplements or changes in feed. These changes need some time to monitor, and need to sit alongside the mantra that ‘correlation is not causation’. Just because my horse is calmer 2 days after giving magnesium it doesn’t mean the magnesium is the cause. Just gather the information over a period of time and try not to get too invested in one or other outcome.

When my horse and I have a more challenging session this isn’t the end of the world - it’s just information. For years my horse has not been worried about ‘the gate of doom’ in our arena and recently it showed up again in a big way. This was useful information that something in his internal or external world had changed. Once upon a time this would have broken my heart, now agedness and knackeredness, and maybe a dab of experience, mean I can more easily think ‘Hmmm, interesting’,

It’s easy to get scared of finding out more, but the more we know the better equipped we are to ultimately make the best decision for our horse. Invest in the investigation.

It’s tempting to chuck everything at the situation and then have no idea what actually made a difference.

It’s easy to believe that one ‘thing’ was the solution without standing back and looking at the bigger context.

It’s easy to become heartbroken or flattened by difficult experiences with a horse, but they’re actually just sharing information with you. That information may be about you, but even then, it’s not personal. It’s just that horses experience of you - it’s just information. They’re telling you how they feel, what they understand, what they know, what they don’t. Can you listen without feeling like it’s because you’re hopeless? It’s their experience- they’re allowed that.

Personally , I never record any of this in any formal way. That’s not how my brain works. I have no horse journal, no monitoring system. I know some people need them but my brain is more like a coffee percolator; i just put all the grains in and believe that eventually a cup of coffee will pour out. It’s up to you how you best gather this information.

However you do it, being curious and keen to gather as much information as possible will enable decisions to reveal themselves. It’s kind of how decisions work, with the right nurturing, they make themselves

24/11/2024

I wrote this post years ago and amazingly I still mostly consider it to be true.

This weeks blog - Why You Didn't Buy the Wrong Horse.

There are two things I shouldn’t do. Well there are loads of things actually, but in relation to this particular topic they are specifically:

1. Endlessly re-watch that bit where Aragorn comes in through the double doors in The Fellowship of the Ring, or where Sherlock crashes through the window and kisses Molly.
2. Spend too much time on the Horse Deals website.

With reference to statement 1 of course I don’t do this, but I have heard there are people who do, so I’m making a rhetorical point for the purpose of this blog. Clearly.

The reason these activities are so dangerous is that they do not paint a picture which comes even close to reality. And yet, we are seduced by them, and the real, horrible downside is that when it comes to actual life, we are disappointed. And that’s not fair on any of us - 2 or 4 legged.

I recently read Alain de Botton’s article entitled, ‘Why you didn’t marry the wrong person’ and it made me think enough to buy his book on the same subject. What he is not saying is that regardless of who you get together with you should stay with them. If they’re just really awful, then get out. There are various other really valid reasons why you shouldn’t stay with someone, but I ‘think’ what he is outlining is that on the whole if that person is vaguely alright then the thing you need to do is sacrifice the dream of romance and look at the real, lovely, wonderful human in front of you, with all their flaws, issues and annoying habits and work out how you can accommodate each other. This being based on the assumption that what you gain from sharing the many ups and downs of life with someone is worth far more than any man in a long coat entering a building in a dramatic fashion.

With regards to horses, I know how easy it is to be seduced by the promise of what could be. My friend Sarah and I like nothing more than a bit of horse p**n (NOT that kind…) and can while away many an hour looking at what various Iberian studs have for sale, or what is currently on Horse Deals. And literally, they are all perfect. No faults; no vices; good in traffic; good to load; excellent with feet, small children and the elderly. Your grandmother could ride this perfectly schooled paragon of virtue. PLUS, they are never lame, sick or sorry. I look out at my own diminished herd (one dead, one blind, one sold, one lame from being kicked by the other one who is the triumphant last standing, but green as grass with some physical issues) and swoon at the thought of getting one of these utterly perfect creatures to make my life complete.

As Mark reminds me (usually at a moment when I don’t need to be reminded) there is the dream, and then there is the reality, and you just hope you end up somewhere in-between. This relates to the interesting paradox of doing something like watching Philippe Karl riding Odin. In the moment your jaw is dropping while they float around together, there is nothing you want more than to sit upon your steed and perform a perfect canter pirouette. It is totally and utterly inspiring and reminds you of why you have no money and a wardrobe that would make your local Hospiscare shop blush. Your horse and you are enough - you can conquer the world, your golden hoofbeats can be traced across the clouds.

So, you dash out and get your horse in from the field. They are a bit dirtier than you had imagined. And they appear to have rubbed half their magical mane out. When you go to pick their feet out you notice they have a touch of white line disease and one fetlock feels a bit hot and swollen. When you tack up, your horse isn’t keen on having his bridle on, which is both concerning (why does he hate you?!) and annoying. You ‘think’ the saddle fits, but you worry it might be bridging a little.

Once on board you summon up the spirit of Philippe and Odin, but what actually happens is that your horse spooks at the mounting block (hang on, didn’t I just get on from that?) and then proceeds to lean on the bit halfway down the school while veering crazily to the left. You attempt to bring the essence of lightness into what’s going on between you, while your horse shoots sideways as the cat appears, and then forgets that you ever discussed what a leg cue means. Cue you dismounting and reaching for the G and T.

Because, what the dream never shows you is how much ACTUAL blood, sweat and tears have gone into that end result. While Mr Karl may have started with ‘the end in mind’ (thank you Stephen Covey) he did actually start at the actual very start. Well, he might not have personally scraped the mud off his horse, but you get the idea. A few people have said to me how lucky I am to have Desaforo, my palomino Lusitano. When he deigns to participate in the Legerete training course I know the two of us may look like there’s really rarely an issue. But those of you who know us well have some idea of how far from the truth this is. If there is an accident to have, Des will have it. If there is a plant to be allergic to Des will roll in it/eat it/press himself up against it. We spend weeks (I kid you not) trying not to spook at something in the school at home which has, actually, always been there. And that doesn’t even vaguely counter what Des has to say about me (I have seen the manuscript, and let’s just say it’s not going to be a holiday read).

The end is not the means.

Really, really, horribly testing hard work goes into a successful partnership – horse or human. The horse on Horse Deals that is going to make everything possible for you – well maybe, but the likelihood is not. The more realistic outcome is it's just a horse, trying its best in a crazy human world, and it probably has a swollen fetlock too. I am sure that for a short while it would be lovely to sip mead while gazing into Aragorn’s eyes, but he already gives an indication of how annoying he might actually be when his hair goes all wavy and he starts singing that stupid song in Return of the King. I bet, as long as it’s not a total nut job (that's in pain and trying to kill you), the horse you have under your nose is a pretty flipping good one. Try going to actually look at some of the ‘Mother’s dreams’ on Horsedeals and you might be surprised at how totally brilliant the horse in your own stable really is.

The real challenge then, as my friend Kathleen Lindley Beckham says, is to do the work.

www.softandsound.org

23/11/2024

In the grander scheme of things…

This week I haven’t really been able to teach or ride because, well, the weather has been Dartmoor turned to the max. It’s mostly been husbandry and swearing and reminding myself that one day I’ll get one of those things that holds hay nets open.

However, last weekend, when we were still all blue skies and ‘Isn’t this a wonderful November’ I was talking to a student about the very long game we play with horses. And how this means one challenging session with your horse really, in the grander scheme of things, is small fry. It doesn’t negate anything good which happened before - as a life with horses cannot be tracked day by day. Instead it’s a year by year kind of a gig.

This student had a wonderful session in the morning, and then in the afternoon horse politics changed and her mare felt a little giddy, and she didn’t enjoy the session very much at all. And what she was upset about was that that she’d ruined the impact of the good session by having a not-so-good session.

Having very much been in this place myself I could talk from a place of some experience.

Over the course of a life with a horse we may directly train or generally interact with them thousands of times. And it’s over the course of these thousands of opportunities to be in contact with them that we need to look. It’s a long, long view.

Each session we have with a horse is just one drop in that magnificent ocean. They don’t stack like Jenga on top of each other with the risk that if you don’t keep everything perfectly balanced it will topple. Instead, it is a huge lake that we keep tipping experiences into, which over time will reflect who we are together. And in a long term relationship such as theirs, there is enough liquid in the container that one slightly less easy session is going to be diluted by the much bigger body of healthy water.

In the early years with my own horse, Des, it was mostly a shallow muddy puddle for a very long time. The droplets of clearer water were few and far between. But over time those better experiences between us started to dissolve the brown and green water and it all looked a bit bluer. And now, when we have a crappy moment (which all long term relationships do) then I don’t worry. We have a pretty healthy pond these days, with lilies and dragonflies.

It really is an extremely long game. And that’s what means you need to count in years, not weeks.

How very liberating

18/11/2024

I’ve been a little quiet on this page recently as I’ve been out and about doing a lot of teaching.

This weekend we had a great French Classical clinic, hot on the heels of my own training with Philippe Karl's School of Légèreté UK the previous weekend.

This clinic is aimed at ridden partnerships who want to know ‘where next’? The foundations are at least good enough and now they’d like to develop a greater understanding of ways to help their horse to become a little straighter, move in a better balance, feel a little more relaxed - even as the questions get more challenging,

The main theme of the clinic was ‘The Seat is the Mother of all Aids’. If we ultimately want to ride more and more from the imperceptible aids of our seat, how do we use other aids to clarify that for our horse?

With the progression always beginning with an indication from our seat, how do we explain that to our horse if they don’t understand?

What impact do weight aids have on a horse and how can we use them consistently from the start so that we don’t confuse our horse?

How do we ensure our seat agrees with our other aids - rather than contradicting them?

Why do we rise on diagonal we do in rising trot?

When would we sit and when wouldn’t we?

How do the seat aids we teach in foundational exercises contribute to a progression all the way up to piaffe and passage?

And how do we develop a following, harmonising seat rather than a driving one?

Thanks so much to all the attendees, you were a wonderful bunch, and to Ayton PRE East Beere Farm for being such a superb venue.

Thanks to Alison for being such a great dinner Miss.

Comments under the pictures to give a little more detail. If you think this kind of clinic would be of interest you, do sign up to the S & S newsletter for details of what's coming up next year,