04/08/2024
Very well written post that I’ve pinched.
Highlights clients and trainers perspective very well.
How many times during sessions do I ask that you send me videos of your sessions so that I can give feedback, help you get value for the money you’ve spent. No videos means no training in my head. No training means no results which in return means no reviews, no positive feedback, and a waste of everyone’s time.
**“DON’T BE AN ASKHOLE”.**
Work. Train. Repeat.
Phillip and Becca Hughes
Dear future client:
This is how this is going to go….
You’ve been watching me on FB and you really like the way I interact with my dogs. You want to sign yours up. I have an in depth convo with you about goals and expectations, you’re sent a contract that literally covers everything under the sun, you send it back signed and we pick a start date. You’re excited and ready! You need some relief, your dog is ruining your life. He’s jumping on people, you can’t walk him, he’s eating your shoes, the kids toys, using the bathroom in the house…. You finally feel like you’ve made the first step towards progress.
A few days before you drop off, you call back to ask where, what time and what to bring. (All of this was discussed in the initial call and/or covered in the contract you signed).
The drop off day comes, you’re so ready…. You’ve been saving and waiting for this day for weeks! You have such high hopes, you’re going to get back the perfect dog and your life is going to be complete!
We greet you, you have your dog, his toys, his wet food, his dry food, his favorite blanket, his bed, his treats, his meds, his harness, his tracking collar, your clothing so he doesn’t miss you too much, his brushes, his bowls…. Etc.
As we meet the dog, it stands either cowering under and behind you barking in fear, or jumping up to our faces. You explain he’s really a great dog and you just don’t know how to train him to stop all of the unwanted behaviors. You call him your “baby”. We tell you we understand and that in 4 to 6 weeks you will get back a well mannered dog but you will have to keep it up after you go home and you will have to continue to use the tools and follow the program if you want it to work. You agree again to this expectation. You are ready and willing to do whatever it takes. You say your goodbyes in a squeaky sad voice and tell Your dog 1000 times you’ll be back and you love him and miss him.
Before the day is up, you’re texting to see how he’s doing. Is he eating? Has he made friends? Is he adjusting well? You just need us to understand how much you love and miss this dog already. You promise you will “not bother us anymore” during the training As per the contract you signed and this will be the last time you check in with us.
Two days go by and you just can’t live without your dog. Is he being loved on? Is he eating properly? Is anyone picking on him? Is he sleeping through the night? Does he need more food, is he getting enough attention and treats? You need pictures immediately and an update on training. You want a video of his progress…. You just have to know that he is ok. We respond, send a picture, you are appeased for the moment.
Meanwhile back at the farm…..
Your dog is shut down. He’s overweight, unsocialized, lacking confidence, manners and any guidance whatsoever. It’s taken an hour to coax him into a crate. Now that he’s in, he’s been barking nonstop. He’s already broken out once even though he was supposedly “crate trained”, he’s used the bathroom on himself and chewed his bed. We’ve now moved him to the high anxiety impact crate. He’s no longer allowed to have his bed because we don’t need an emergency trip to the vet. He’s being rewarded for calm behavior. He’s let out numerous times to relieve himself so he doesn’t have accidents in his crate. He’s turned out into the play yard for exercise and playtime and he either immediately jumps the fence or starts a fight with another dog. He now has to be hand walked only because he is a fence jumper and he cannot be turned out with multiple dogs because he is aggressive. All things that were not disclosed by you during the interview.
It takes days to get your dog motivated. He doesn’t want treats, he has zero drive to play and he could care less about pleasing a human. For his entire life he has had freedom, food when he wanted it, affection when he wanted it, free range of the house, toys at his disposal, he’s been walked in a harness and has zero clue what leash pressure is on his neck. When taught, he falls to the ground and refuses to move. He bites up leash, he pouts and sulks, he refuses to train. We try multiple times a day to motivate, and when he refuses, we give it time. The dogs owner wants immediate results - they want updates- they want to hear that their dog is the smartest most valuable one on the property. The fact of the matter is everyone of these dogs means just as much as the other does to me. I am in it to help change lives, this is my passion and that’s what keeps me going.
It’s the end of the first week, he’s coming around. He’s greeting us with a tail wag and he’s eager to get started. Being here is not so bad…. He gets to have treats, he is learning to be brave, he’s constantly praised and told he’s a good boy for doing simple things like sitting down! He’s made friends with a few of the other dogs although he’s not too sure about “playing” yet. He’s fine if they keep their distance.
Week 2 & 3 come and go, he’s truly loving his routine. He longs for the sessions where he gets to see the man with the beard who smells like dog food and is always kind. He’s learned a lot but there’s so much more to be taught!
Week 4- he’s feeling like a king. He’s now going out in public, people are so excited to see “such a pretty boy”and he’s just “so well behaved!”.
Graduation day comes, he’s getting a luxurious bath and a blow out with the loud machine but it’s ok because he’s confident now. He can sit, lay down, and he trusts his handler. He smells great, looks great and feels great. He has no idea what’s going on but this is a happy day he can tell.
You come for graduation, you’re sat down and the tools, The routines, the methods used, the crate, the feeding schedule, the expectations, the goals, the rights the wrongs…. everything is discussed prior to you ever seeing your dog. You’ve talked about genetics, working lines, drive, house manners, outside manners, You understand and everything makes sense, it’s like a lightbulb has gone off and you finally realize all that you’ve been doing wrong this whole time. It’s time for you to meet your dog again after the training.
The dog is brought to you and you are instructed not to be overly excited. Your dog smells you before he ever sees you and all of the memories come rushing back. His humans have returned. He’s so excited!!! He wants desperately to jump all over you like you wanted him to before! The man with the beard gently reminds him to stay in a seated position while you greet him. He immediately starts working with the trainer to show you all of the new skills. He is doing amazing, he’s a little bit excited but he is very focused on his handler and he is proud of all he has learned. After the trainer shows all of the new skills, the leash is handed over to the owners. It is the moment of truth, will you be able to carry the torch? Was all the money spent worth it? Will all the hard work be maintained? Are you up for the challenge?
It’s hot, it’s long and it’s overwhelming, this is graduation. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy. You and your dog are now learning how to dance together in a way that he understands. You are learning how to communicate with a predatory animal. He is not a “baby” he is a predator with canines meant to rip apart other animals. His ancestors were used as killing machines in the wars, are still used to apprehend criminals and seek out lost children. You have taken in so much knowledge today your brain feels like it will explode. You are fumbling, awkward, it seems you’ve forgotten everything you had just learned, you don’t know how to hold the leash, you feel like all eyes are on you and you’re not sure you will succeed. After a few minutes of struggling through and some guidance from the trainer, you’re starting to get it. Your dog is responding to the cues. You are working as a team and it is all coming together. You’re seeing a dog you’ve never seen before and you’re overjoyed.
You leave with an immense amount of gratefulness and you promise you will keep up with the training. You know that it is what the dog needs and you know that it is what you need, you will make the time, you will do the work, you will make the trainer proud.
You’ve been home now for 4 weeks. You’ve gone back to bowl feeding instead of hand feeding because it’s too time consuming to hand feed. You’re not using the crate anymore because you’re tired of cleaning accidents out of it and you don’t wanna spend the money on the one that your dog cannot break out of. Your dog has only chewed up a few things in the house since he’s been home and it was mostly your fault because you left him unsupervised so you will forgive it. A little table scrap now and then while you’re eating dinner won’t hurt he’s so cute…. how can you say no. It’s too hot to take the walks so he’s being let out in the fenced in area to use the bathroom. You never use the tools you were given, you don’t have time to deal with all of that. If you’re not taking the walks then what good are the tools anyways?You don’t have any time or energy to take him out in public. When guests come over he is allowed to greet them before you do, he has again started to jump on people, and you do not correct it. He has started showing fear aggression towards children and does not want them in his space. He does not want to share his home with strangers. This is his house and you’re his human. He has free access to his toy box again, he is on the furniture and You’re sleeping in the bed with him every night because you need somebody to cuddle.
The training is too hard. Nobody with any sort of life can possibly keep up all these rules. This can’t be real life… the trainer expected too much. There must be an easier way to have a trained dog. Didn’t you pay the trainer to fix him? Why is he bad again? If you just keep loving him and keep feeding him and keep giving him freedom and toys then why doesn’t he just behave?
Meanwhile back at the farm…..
A whole new set of students has come in and is about to graduate. A whole new set of personalities a new set of genetics a new set of problems. A new set of hopeful clients promising they will keep up the training. As I lay exhausted in my bed scrolling through my Facebook feed I see my old students popping up left and right. Some are wearing a harness again dragging their owners down the street, some are overweight again, some are allowed liberties they clearly should not be given and others are doing amazingly well. My phone is full of unreturned messages from owners wanting updates and pictures and new students wanting to sign up. I haven’t had a day off in 3 years…. I know at 5am my alarm will go off and my Groundhog Day will begin again.
So why do I do this?
It’s the students that shine and the owners that take the program seriously that keep me going. It’s the text messages I get of thankfulness and gratitude that give me a purpose. I live for the pictures and the videos of my clients going through the training exercises and reaching goals and accomplishments. I love to get a good review with positive feedback about how I’ve helped a family and helped their dog. I am once again reminded that what I do matters. As i close my eyes and drift off to sleep, completely exhausted yet still finding the time to have worked my personal dogs after all of the other clients dogs were worked, I am reminded of my motto…. Work. Train. Repeat. Tomorrow is a new day full of new possibilities.
