Beth Armitage Horsemanship

25/11/2024

This weeks blog - Why You Didn't Buy the Wrong Horse.

There are two things I shouldn’t do. Well there are loads of things actually, but in relation to this particular topic they are specifically:

1. Endlessly re-watch that bit where Aragorn comes in through the double doors in The Fellowship of the Ring, or where Sherlock crashes through the window and kisses Molly.
2. Spend too much time on the Horse Deals website.

With reference to statement 1 of course I don’t do this, but I have heard there are people who do, so I’m making a rhetorical point for the purpose of this blog. Clearly.

The reason these activities are so dangerous is that they do not paint a picture which comes even close to reality. And yet, we are seduced by them, and the real, horrible downside is that when it comes to actual life, we are disappointed. And that’s not fair on any of us - 2 or 4 legged.

I recently read Alain de Botton’s article entitled, ‘Why you didn’t marry the wrong person’ and it made me think enough to buy his book on the same subject. What he is not saying is that regardless of who you get together with you should stay with them. If they’re just really awful, then get out. There are various other really valid reasons why you shouldn’t stay with someone, but I ‘think’ what he is outlining is that on the whole if that person is vaguely alright then the thing you need to do is sacrifice the dream of romance and look at the real, lovely, wonderful human in front of you, with all their flaws, issues and annoying habits and work out how you can accommodate each other. This being based on the assumption that what you gain from sharing the many ups and downs of life with someone is worth far more than any man in a long coat entering a building in a dramatic fashion.

With regards to horses, I know how easy it is to be seduced by the promise of what could be. My friend Sarah and I like nothing more than a bit of horse p**n (NOT that kind…) and can while away many an hour looking at what various Iberian studs have for sale, or what is currently on Horse Deals. And literally, they are all perfect. No faults; no vices; good in traffic; good to load; excellent with feet, small children and the elderly. Your grandmother could ride this perfectly schooled paragon of virtue. PLUS, they are never lame, sick or sorry. I look out at my own diminished herd (one dead, one blind, one sold, one lame from being kicked by the other one who is the triumphant last standing, but green as grass with some physical issues) and swoon at the thought of getting one of these utterly perfect creatures to make my life complete.

As Mark reminds me (usually at a moment when I don’t need to be reminded) there is the dream, and then there is the reality, and you just hope you end up somewhere in-between. This relates to the interesting paradox of doing something like watching Philippe Karl riding Odin. In the moment your jaw is dropping while they float around together, there is nothing you want more than to sit upon your steed and perform a perfect canter pirouette. It is totally and utterly inspiring and reminds you of why you have no money and a wardrobe that would make your local Hospiscare shop blush. Your horse and you are enough - you can conquer the world, your golden hoofbeats can be traced across the clouds.

So, you dash out and get your horse in from the field. They are a bit dirtier than you had imagined. And they appear to have rubbed half their magical mane out. When you go to pick their feet out you notice they have a touch of white line disease and one fetlock feels a bit hot and swollen. When you tack up, your horse isn’t keen on having his bridle on, which is both concerning (why does he hate you?!) and annoying. You ‘think’ the saddle fits, but you worry it might be bridging a little.

Once on board you summon up the spirit of Philippe and Odin, but what actually happens is that your horse spooks at the mounting block (hang on, didn’t I just get on from that?) and then proceeds to lean on the bit halfway down the school while veering crazily to the left. You attempt to bring the essence of lightness into what’s going on between you, while your horse shoots sideways as the cat appears, and then forgets that you ever discussed what a leg cue means. Cue you dismounting and reaching for the G and T.

Because, what the dream never shows you is how much ACTUAL blood, sweat and tears have gone into that end result. While Mr Karl may have started with ‘the end in mind’ (thank you Stephen Covey) he did actually start at the actual very start. Well, he might not have personally scraped the mud off his horse, but you get the idea. A few people have said to me how lucky I am to have Desaforo, my palomino Lusitano. When he deigns to participate in the Legerete training course I know the two of us may look like there’s really rarely an issue. But those of you who know us well have some idea of how far from the truth this is. If there is an accident to have, Des will have it. If there is a plant to be allergic to Des will roll in it/eat it/press himself up against it. We spend weeks (I kid you not) trying not to spook at something in the school at home which has, actually, always been there. And that doesn’t even vaguely counter what Des has to say about me (I have seen the manuscript, and let’s just say it’s not going to be a holiday read).

The end is not the means.

Really, really, horribly testing hard work goes into a successful partnership – horse or human. The horse on Horse Deals that is going to make everything possible for you – well maybe, but the likelihood is not. The more realistic outcome is it's just a horse, trying its best in a crazy human world, and it probably has a swollen fetlock too. I am sure that for a short while it would be lovely to sip mead while gazing into Aragorn’s eyes, but he already gives an indication of how annoying he might actually be when his hair goes all wavy and he starts singing that stupid song in Return of the King. I bet, as long as it’s not a total nut job (that's in pain and trying to kill you), the horse you have under your nose is a pretty flipping good one. Try going to actually look at some of the ‘Mother’s dreams’ on Horsedeals and you might be surprised at how totally brilliant the horse in your own stable really is.

The real challenge then, as my friend Kathleen Lindley Beckham says, is to do the work.

www.softandsound.org

25/11/2024

Hehe!

I schooled Dave for Amy on Friday as she has been away. I’m glad you felt a difference 🥰🥰

24/11/2024

The power of noticing. 💭

Something I reflect on deeply—and sometimes feel is missing in the world of horse training—is the art of truly noticing. Noticing how the horse responds to the things we do, not just when we ask for something specific, but in the subtle, everyday dialogue we share.

When I praise my horses, I want it to be more than a random pat on the neck. I want to feel that they receive it as something positive, something meaningful. Too often, I see a rider offer praise, yet the horse’s expression remains unchanged—no softening, no flick of an ear, no shift in their energy.

And that makes me wonder: Is the praise truly for the horse—or for us?

If our praise, our release, or our rewards are to have any real value, we need to know they truly land. Connection isn’t automatic; it’s built through noticing the smallest signs that tell us our words and actions resonate.

For me, it’s in the glimmer of understanding in their eyes, the sigh of relaxation, or the subtle melting of tension. That’s when I know I’m truly communicating, not just talking into the void.

So, how do you know your horse appreciates the things you do? What signs do they show you when they feel seen, understood, and supported?

Because in those moments, we create not just training—but partnership. 💕

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24/11/2024

"Advanced training is just the basics done really well." - Ken Ramirez
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"Training often fails because people expect way too much of the animal and way too little of themselves." - Bob Bailey
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"Please just do your homework." - Fred

22/11/2024

Love these pictures of the horses Vicky Matus Photography snuck whilst Zoe, Issac and Ziggy were having their shoots.

22/11/2024

If I can offer one piece of advice to you as an owner
It simply is be a sceptic and do not blindly follow one person for none of us have all the answers and a red flag is a professional who thinks they do.

I suppose its why as a professional I never put my tent up in one camp, follow one method, believe with undying devotion to the words that however eloquently wrote or spoke my first thought is often where's the catch ???

You can ask questions in fact you should ask questions, I mean you are entrusting these people with your horse.

Those that try to make you get rid of other professionals in your horses life and declare they are all you need. Huge red flag

Those that say you will save on vet bills yet cannot see your horse spinning on a hind foot as it turns. Huge red flag

Those that say you are the issue and you need to spend more money to get more specific information. Huge red flag.

Those that declare everyone else is wrong and won't ever budge on what they believe is right.Huge red flag.

Those that continue to train your lame horse telling you straightness is the only issue. Huge red flag.

Those that see your horse every four weeks and no progress is ever made and your horse is forever getting the same thing corrected. Huge red flag.

Those that make you continue in a programme, method, even though your horse is clearly unhappy. Huge red flag.

Those that cannot even finish something before jumping on the most popular thing, parroting every snippet of information or video out there without ever understanding the why. Huge red flag.

As a professional I am hugely sceptic of most things or people Because I know for every one genuine in it for the horse there is a hundred only in it for themselves. I don't play the game, I don't stay quiet, I speak out if I think the horse is going to lose out, I remain a sceptic, I need someone to prove their worth to my horses for I am the only one who is their voice I hope this helps you as owner hear your horse's opinion on who you choose to be part of your horses team. X

20/11/2024

I wonder if any of my lovely followers/friends/clients could help one of my wonderful friends?

Due to a sudden change in circumstances with his loaner my friends horse has got to come home. Has anyone got a space for a very lovely 16hh, 17 year old gelding on a temporary basis?

19/11/2024

So, a real milestone for Smokey and I. Zoe and I loaded up Smokey and Dice and we went to meet Paris for a ride around Broughton. Thank you so much for having us Paris, it was just a perfect first outing for Smokey.

I had no intention of riding him today. If we walked around and had a nice uneventful wander around I would’ve been happy but hopping on board just felt right and do you know what, he was perfect. At no point did I feel unsafe or as though he was going to explode. The cherry on top was his lining up at the gate like an angel when I had to get off to do a gate. (Video to fallow)

I cannot stress enough just how tricky a horse Smokey has been. And today feels like a real break through in our relationship and journey. More adventures pending! Where to next??!!

Again, thank you to Paris and Zoe for providing such perfect company!

(This is private riding and not open to the public, Paris lives here. Please don’t ride here without permission)

18/11/2024

It’s happening fellow equestrians… doing the jobs round the yard and riding this morning it felt like winter. Snow is forecast for tonight and it’s forecast to stay cold ! 🥶

❄️❄️❄️

17/11/2024

17/11/2024

Test your work often! I say to my students frequently; when you’ve finished your movement, drop the reins and see what you have.
If you actually have both hind legs flexing equally, a horse rewarded with a loose rein maintains the same rythm and direction with ease. Just as happy to be with you as anywhere else.

If you get sudden veering, speeding up, slowing down, anxiety, rooting etc, you missed something, or aren’t there yet.

It’s easy to make a “shape,” anybody can make a horse look round manually.
But to actually feel the legs and bring them harmonious and soft controlled swinging , to feel the hind legs beneath the seat and flex them, to create the most basic and most rare tenant in good movement of all: rhythm- that takes a real rider, a thinking rider, a feeling rider.

Don’t get caught up in shapes and looks - feel, and rest often. Drop the reins and see what you have. And that result gives you your answer on where your work lies.

17/11/2024

Balance and straightness lead to happier, healthier horses.

How does this work?

When the horse is balanced, he will be able to relax because he no longer feels that he may fall down (and be eaten by the lion lurking in the bush behind C).

The crooked, unbalanced horse will become nervous, scared, and anxious because he is worried that he may fall down at any moment. As a prey animal (which horses are), this is a dangerous predicament. A prey animal is most vulnerable when they fall down.

For this reason, the crooked and unbalanced horse may become spooky, distracted, shying at everything that lurks in the shadows. He may be over-reactive and over-sensitive to the aids because he is on edge. It may seem silly to us, but he is instinctively worried about his survival.

When we help the horse improve his sense of body awareness and balance, he feels more in control of his body. He feels that he is no longer perilously helpless if something unexpected happens. The balanced horse feels secure and less vulnerable to falling down.

Therefore, he can relax, focus, and tune into the training work. He becomes less spooky, less distracted, and less over-reactive.

Balance depends fundamentally upon Straightness. Balance depends upon the horse’s ability to adeptly shift his balance longitudinally (front to back), laterally between each side of his body, and between different legs. The horse can not improve any of these things as long as he is crooked.

By working on Straightness, your horse’s balance will consequently improve. We work on the horse’s ability to shift the weight from side-to-side, front-to-back, and between the different legs. He becomes straighter and his balance improves.

When the horse is straight and balanced, he is happier. And healthier.

We have an online course that guides you through exactly this process, so you can train your horse to become straighter and better balanced, therefore happier and healthier.

Our next course starts Friday, November 22nd.

Enroll here - https://courses.artisticdressage.com/straightness-course

Drawing by Assistant Ritter Trainer, Yvonne Lübcke. Come meet her inside the course!

Any questions? Hit reply. :-)

17/11/2024

Sunday mornings with Moose 😍

13/11/2024

You are not the arbiter of shame. And neither am I.

It's not our job to make people feel like s**t for their behavior.

What IS our job, is to communicate our boundary/preference/limit/need to the other side in way that takes responsibility for our feelings and what we're willing to tolerate. To be vulnerable about how we've been impacted, and about how we'd like things to go in the future.

That's a heck of a lot harder than just making someone else bad & wrong.

The impulse to shame is old, and it's everywhere.
But it's counter-intuitive;
it does not do what you want it to do.

You want it to make the other person fully understand the impact of their behavior so that they won't do it again. You want them to feel what you feel so that they understand.

Instead, shaming brings up the other person's walls, usually makes you unsafe and more of an 'other,' and creates a disconnect between you and that person. And if they already have trauma in this area, good luck adding shame to it (it’s going to make you very unsafe).

Sure, sometimes it's effective in that the behavior stops. But it also begins to weaken the bond and the trust between the two of you.

The reason the world is so seemingly full of narcissists is because of how much we try to use shame to change other people. We project our pain onto them, hoping they'll understand, and instead they absorb it.

But when you take it all apart, you realize that if we want to stay connected to someone and have them better understand the impact of their behavior, and want to grow together in the future, we have to do the hard, emotional self management work of vulnerability communicating this to the person we care about.

If you want some help learning how to communicate more effectively, especially in conflict, that's exactly what we work on in the Relationship Management Workshop beginning This Thursday, November 14.
It's also the LAST TIME I'll ever be teaching this workshop!

https://theeqschool.co/relationship-management-workshop