16/11/2025
I hear so many people say ‘I want my dog to have friends/be more sociable/sit in cafes with me’ etc - but what does your dog want? This deserved a reshare 🐾
These are my dogs, Kimmi and Paddy.
Paddy wants to be your friend.
Kimmi does not.
Paddy’s walks are all about the people he may get fussed by and the dogs he may get to play with. Kimmi’s walks are all about enjoying her time alone with her human, sniffing, exploring and fetching her ball.
No, she is not aggressive, but she would prefer if you not try to touch her.
No, I am not sorry or embarrassed to tell you this.
Yes, they are both absolutely beautiful and you are more than welcome to look at them, and to fuss Paddy who loves all humans immediately, but if you try to touch Kimmi without asking or following the protocol I will give you, then I WILL stand up for her.
Both of my dogs are wonderful family dogs and are exceptionally well-trained.
Kimmi gets along well with people she knows, and will make friends with new people if they play by the rules and give her space, but she has strong genetic programming to be wary of strangers.
Because of her training and the amount of effort I have put into her socialisation for the last 10 years, Kimmi can coexist just fine with strangers and isn’t reactive when people walk closely past. However, she would prefer not to be touched by them.
Both dogs have been raised by myself from 8 weeks old and provided with the same level of training, socialisation and habituation in those crucial early weeks. They are related to each other and share 50% the same genetics. Kimmi was born anxious and wary, Paddy was born confident and bold.
Does this make Kimmi any less of a ‘good’ dog than Paddy? No. Paddy will accept cuddles all day from a complete stranger, but that doesn’t make him better than Kimmi in my eyes. What it does mean, is that when I take them out, I have a different mindset for each dog, it’s not all about what I want out of their time outdoors and from public interactions. It’s about what they want and what makes them happy. They may look very much alike, but they are like chalk and cheese!
I understand my dogs’ breed, their individual personalities and their motivators. I respect them and work WITH them, rather than against them. That gives me happy dogs. That gives me dogs who trust me, who trust me to keep them safe and always do my best for them. I do not set them up for failure or put them in stressful situations.
This may mean that Kimmi gets left at home while Paddy gets taken to street fairs, busy pet stores, on the school runs, to markets, local events. Kimmi isn’t being ‘left out’, I just know that these places would cause her stress. She would ‘behave’ and may seem fine to people who do not know her, but I would see the underlying stress and upset. Kimmi would rather not visit these places, and is happy to sleep at home instead and then be taken for a nice long walk in the woods later on.
Remember that your dog liking everyone and wanting to say “hello” to people is an expectation YOU have, simply because it makes us feel like the dog is a ‘good dog’, but the majority of dogs out there are more like Kimmi than Paddy, and they’d really love some understanding and acceptance rather than disappointment.
