Miss you Pet

11/02/2024

Euthanasia-should I stay or should I go?

Euthanasia, or “putting to sleep” is probably one of the hardest decisions we will make in our pet’s lifetime. It’s a decision that can unite us pet lovers but conversely it can also divide us; should you stay with your pet or not? All I ask of you when you are reading this is to please not judge each other if your personal view is different to someone else’s. You are very welcome to comment whilst bearing in mind that we are all individuals and we may never fully understand what another person is going through in addition to pet loss. 😊

We know that our pets will have a shorter lifespan than us, some will reach a great age after a long life whilst sadly others will pass away long before we hoped and dreamed of.

The difference between us and pets is that we can legally make the decision to end their life if they are suffering. Sounds quite simple doesn’t it really? Our pet is suffering, we can end that by legally deciding to put them to sleep. The reality is very different – it’s a decision which weighs us down like a milestone around our neck. We don’t want them to suffer but we don’t want to be without them either. 💔

The overall outcome is destined to be heart breaking and maybe having the choice of euthanasia actually complicates things and does more harm than good? But then what is the alternative – to watch our beloved pets suffering and in pain until they pass away?

Finding the inner strength to help them at the time they need us the most is surely the most self-less thing that we can ever do for them, letting them go peacefully despite the pain it will bring us ❤️

You might have a conversation with yourself, family and your vet many times over before you come to the decision that it is kinder for your pet to relieve them of their suffering and decide that you will reluctantly put them to sleep💔🐾

I read a post on social media around 18 months ago which condemned people who aren’t present when their pet is put to sleep, it was full of guilt making descriptions of why we should be there at all cost. It made me angry because no one has the right to kick a person when they are down – whether or not we choose to be with our pets during euthanasia, we will still go through the same loss. ❤️

Some of us feel that being there gives us peace of mind but we aren’t all the same. If we feel unable to be there at the time of our pet’s passing we may fear being judged and go on to experience the feelings of guilt that can bring. But we will most likely feel guilty regardless of whether we are present or not because that’s a significant part of the grieving process and also because of the enormity of the decision to let them go. 🐾

I wonder if that social media post highlights the fact that love isn’t tangible? But because it’s a strong emotion we feel the need to try to make it tangible so that we can measure it. In doing so we base our measurements on what we feel is the most we could do for a pet whom we love. For many of us, that would be staying with our pet whilst they are put to sleep. But is it really? Or is it actually making the decision to put our pets to sleep?❤️🐾

Many of my clients weren’t given the option of being with their pets who were put to sleep during lockdown. Some desperately wanted to be with them but some almost felt relieved that they didn’t have to. Not all vets had the same restrictions which may also have depended on the size of the surgery and ability to socially distance.
Some of my clients contacted mobile vets to come to their home, others wanted their pet to be with their trusted vet who has given them support over many years, especially if they had to hand their beloved pet over in the car park to be taken into the vets and put to sleep.💔

Many of us found ways that worked for us and others were sadly unable to but the outcome for all of us was the same – we made a decision to end our pets’ suffering and were devastated when they passed away. 💔 We all had an opportunity to say goodbye in our own way and in our own time regardless of whether we were there with them when they passed away. Someone who has lost their pet unexpectedly and abruptly may well wish to have had that opportunity to say goodbye. 💔🐾

So if you, or someone you love, is facing the same dilemma, please remember that there is no right or wrong answer. You have the right to decide if you stay with your pet whilst they are put to sleep based on what you feel is best for your pet and for yourself too. Let’s not judge each other at a time when we most need understanding and support. And remember that love may not be tangible but it also never dies🌈❤️🐾

Next Chewsday – why euthanasia isn’t your final decision to make.

Pet Bereavement Counselling sessions with Sue are available to book. Please email [email protected]

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03/02/2024

Boo says “Happy National Golden Retriever Day” ❤️🐾😍

01/02/2024

Can’t believe it’s 2 years ago today that we lost our beautiful Libby ❤️my shadow and best friend 😍. She made the world a happier place 😊🐾

Sending love to you if you are also missing a much loved companion 🥰 I hope your treasured memories will bring you great comfort 💕###

20/01/2024

This is little Ariel, an 11 week old Spaniel puppy who was found abandoned in a supermarket car park in September. She had 6 legs. ❤️

We can never truly know and understand why she was abandoned but thankfully she was in an area where there were lots of people.

So many people have helped little Ariel since then, including the surgeons and veterinarian staff and I’m sure you will join me in wishing this sweet little girl, a full and swift recovery and an amazing forever home💕🐾



Dog with six legs has operation to remove extra limbs

Ariel, an 11-week-old spaniel, was found abandoned outside a branch of B&M in September.

20/01/2024

This week’s Saturday Smile is beautiful Kayla ❤️🐾 Mark says:

“A year ago, we lost our precious pumpkin Kayla and not a day goes by where we don’t talk about you. The tears are slowly turning into smiles as we remember all the fun we had and the love that we shared. You’d be proud of Margot and how she is growing up, and she still remembers the lessons you taught her on how to behave (and the tricks to get extra biscuits).
Miss you so much Princess. So much 🐶💔🐶 xx”

Mark, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful little girl with us. Sending love and hugs to you and Poul 🥰 and Margot too 🐾

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

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15/01/2024

What is pet bereavement counselling?

Pet Bereavement counselling helps us to work through the loss of a much loved pet whilst being supported by someone who is ideally professionally trained and qualified in both the human-animal bond and counselling skills.

It’s not enough to purely understand how my clients feel, although of course that’s helpful, I work with my clients holistically - looking at the bigger picture. That’s really important because life shapes us all in different ways.

We may have common ground with lots of people but we are all unique and that individuality becomes the basis of our relationships with others, especially our pets.

If you’ve ever felt that your friends and family don’t understand exactly how you feel about your loss, you may well be right. It’s not that they don’t care, they still love you very much but they may only see the sides of you that you choose for them to see.

Some of us hide our true feelings about the loss of our pets because we worry that others won’t understand or maybe they will laugh at us. We can even hide it from those we are closest to.

And that’s when good pet bereavement counselling can really help.

My sessions are completely relaxed and informal. I don’t care if you are still in your dressing gown or haven’t washed your hair for a week - it doesn’t matter! What does matter is that we can be relaxed and talk about you, your life and your loss. The first thing I always ask is to tell me all about your pet, I also ask for a photo before our very first zoom or FaceTime call. It’s important to me to learn all about them and then all about you.

So if you have any questions about how I can help you, please send me a message or email me [email protected] and I will happily help 😊

I’m a level 5 Advanced Pet Bereavement Counsellor and I trained with The Cambridge Institute of Dog Behaviour and Training.

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

13/01/2024

This week’s Saturday Smile is another beautiful Boo ❤️🐾

Kayla says;

“Boo peacefully passed away on the 26th December 2023, just a day before her 11th birthday. An incredibly loving, intelligent little girl who stole the hearts of many.

Boo's favourite places were the beach and our local park where she loved to try and catch the dandelions before you blew them away.

She had the biggest heart and appetite 🙈 Despite life's challenges, she made it through and gave us 11 incredibly wholesome years filled with so many happy memories.

I will be forever grateful that she came into our lives. Sleep well my little Boo Bear 🌈❤️”

Thank you for sharing your gorgeous girl with us Kayla ❤️🐾

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx

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06/01/2024

This week’s Saturday Smile is gorgeous Harley ❤️🐾 who is missed every day.

Heather says:
“Harley was such a good boy right from when we had him. His mom didn’t want him, so he was hand reared, which allowed me to have him at 6 weeks old. He always seemed to be an old man, we said he just needs a pipe and slippers 🤣🤣 I did stud him out for a bit so there are quite a few Harley’s pups 🐶 we are still in touch with one of them and we always see them, Jasmine looks so much like Harley. During the last few months you could tell he had had enough, you could see in his eyes. Jordana at Willows was the nicest kindest vet and assured us we were doing what was best for Harley even though it did and still does completely break us ###”

Sending much love to Heather and to all of you who are currently grieving after your loss. ❤️ 🐾

Thank you for sharing Harley with us Heather🥰

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

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01/01/2024

So as another year ends and a new one begins, it’s natural to look back before looking forwards.

Those of us who have lost someone special this year may well be feeling sad. It’s ingrained in us that a New Year means we have to do something better than we did last year. Dry January, giving up smoking, losing weight, using that gym membership for once! It’s no wonder we feel under pressure at this time of the year. Isn’t it enough to be the best “me” that we can be?

Of course some of us may be welcoming the new year with gusto, maybe it’s the year we are getting married, the year we will become parents or add another to our growing family. We may be celebrating the new year because it makes us closer to that holiday that we are so looking forward to.

If you have had to say goodbye to your much loved pet this year, you may have mixed emotions tonight and if your loss is still recent you may be feeling down. We know that our pets aren’t forever but the bonds we have with them can last forever in our hearts. We can still celebrate their life and treasure the love that we shared.

If you have welcomed a new pet into your life, it’s ok to sometimes still feel sad and to miss our other pets. Our relationship with each of them is unique, which is why we often struggle with the depth of our grief when we lose them.

As we start a new year, we don’t have to draw a line under that special relationship and move on. Instead, try to think of it in more realistic terms, a new year means moving forwards with our lives and our loves. We can move forwards with love in our hearts and the many happy memories of the times we shared over the years together, the photos, the funny stories, their funny little habits and one day we will be able to do all of that with a smile 😊

It will happen over time - but maybe not just because it’s a new year 😊❤️

Thank you so much for all of your support this year ❤️

I wish you all a new year filled with love and laughter, good health and happiness 🥰

Lots of love Sue, Boo,Lola and Georgie ❤️🐾🐾🐾###❤️

Thank you Jackie for the lovely photo of handsome Milo 💕🐾

31/12/2023

Happy New year’s eve to you all 😀. If you are out celebrating tonight or, like me, staying in with your pets, have a lovely evening ❤️

How cute is this photo of sweet Rocky in his Christmas pyjamas?! 😍🐾

Thank you Sarah Rose for sharing such a lovely photo ❤️

30/12/2023

Lisa Wallder Peter Childs Isobel Yard Linda Humble Natalie Parsons Ericjeff Clapton Mandy Lee.

Welcome to our page 🤩
Thank you for following, liking and sharing 🙏 our posts!

If you would like to have your pets featured in Saturday Smile, please send me a photo and a few words about your pet 😊🐾

You can contact me via my page or email me [email protected]

Thank you!

Sue ❤️🐾x

27/12/2023

Boo is sending big hugs and licky kisses to anyone who needs some today 🥰👅❤️ Please share them with your friends too if they need some 😊

You’ve got this 💕###x

Photo credit Miss You Pet Bereavement Counselling

24/12/2023

Hi everyone
I’d like to share a poem with you:

“When I’m gone from your side and all your tears have been dried,
do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep.

I’m a thousand winds that blow, I’m the diamond glints of snow,
I’m the sunlight on ripened grain,
I’m the gentle autumns rain,

When you awake in the morning hush, I’m the swift uplifting rush of the quiet birds in circled flight, I’m the soft star shining at night.

When walking in the evening hours and you catch the aroma of beautiful flowers,
There’ll be no need to sob and cry, I am not there, I did not die.”

Some of us are recently bereaved but let’s take those happier memories and talk about them, keep their spirit alive. Whether they are family or friends or our special furry family, we can still love them, even if we can’t see them ❤️🐾.

I hope that you have a very happy and peaceful Christmas 🎄

With much love to you all,
Sue ❤️🐾###

(In loving memory of Jacquie ❤️)

23/12/2023

Our Christmas Saturday Smile is beautiful Lexie who Emma sadly lost in April. ❤️

Emma says “my furbaby Lexie, you are missed so much x you gave us so much joy and love. You are never far from our hearts and we miss you every day x you will always be our baby. X”

Sending love to Emma and all of you who have lost your much loved pets this year ❤️🌈🐾

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

Sat

20/12/2023

Who will you miss this Christmas?🐾❤️xx

14/12/2023

Thinking of you all this Christmas ❤️
THE FIRST CHRISTMAS

There are many firsts when we lose those whom we treasure. First birthdays-ours and theirs, the first person we tell of our loss, the first time we don’t buy pet food with our groceries, the first time we go back to the vets to pay our final bill and so many more. But that first Christmas can be one that we absolutely dread. Why? Because it’s meant to be a time for joy and sharing, time with those we love. How can our sadness possibly be a part of that?

When my clients come to me for help and support and to try to make sense of their loss I never pigeonhole them - “that lady lives alone, that gentleman is dealing with his own health problems, they have no children“ We are all individuals with differing circumstances, personalities and beliefs. No one person is worse off than another - all are going through pet loss unyet we are all so different. So please forgive me if I suggest something that just “isn’t you” ❤️

When we bring that little puppy, kitten or frightened little rescue baby home, it’s a time of great happiness-they look so cute. As they grow and develop their own personalities we forget the sleepless nights of toilet training, the chewed up shoes and slippers, the pulled up carpet and broken blinds, the sofa that we once called our own - “absolutely not allowed on the sofa or beds!” Yeah, that didn’t last did it!😊

When all of this madness and often tears, subsides, we find a way of living together, mainly in harmony!
What we don’t realise is that whilst we believe we are the protectors, the mums and dads and that we must do regular trips to the vets, regular walks, making the decision to have a cat allowed to roam outside or to roam within the places we create for them. We don’t realise that these little furry, funny, adorable pets are actually fulfilling our needs.

I’m often asked why it hurts so bad to lose a pet. Pet loss isn’t a worse or lesser pain than other losses, it’s a totally different pain. There is no comparison with other losses purely because our pets are nothing like us - generally they don’t look like us, they aren’t human but mostly because they choose to stay with us. When we let our dogs off lead they don’t run away at the first opportunity. When we open the back door or put in a cat flap they don’t see it as a means to make a getaway! They come back to us and let us love and care for them - even if us cat lovers often feel like it’s all on their terms!

It’s a unique partnership that we both benefit from.
When one of us is taken away, the other struggles to live their usual days. Because they have fulfilled needs in us that have now left a huge void and we feel vulnerable and scared at how we are going to cope without them. But you know, we do cope and life does go on.

Then something like Christmas approaches and we dread how we are going to cope with that whilst not letting those we love down. We won’t-you can do this, it will take extra strength but you will get through Christmas just as you have any other day. And you can still appreciate the joy and happiness that Christmas intends, because your pet loved you unconditionally and so that is what they would want for you. Wouldn’t you want the same for them?

Christmas is a time for giving and actually a perfect time for doing something for somebody else. Giving makes us happy and helps us feel fulfilled once more, even if just for that day.

If you usually put presents under the tree or put out stockings for your pets, you can still do that. Maybe think about donating those presents after Christmas to a rescue to help another worthy pet, or donate some food or blankets? You can write a card from your beloved pet and donate in their memory. You may have recently opened your heart to another pet- don’t feel guilty, we have big hearts with plenty of room and love to last throughout our lives. Maybe you could give a present to your pet from a pet you have lost? Or maybe you have time to give -help a charity, church or other significant part of your or other’s lives. Bring joy to others in the name of your pet ❤️ Make those years you shared together count at a time when many are also going through sad and tough times. You may feel unable to do any of those things and that’s ok too. Maybe children could make a tree decoration in your pet’s honour, or you can plant a hardy tree or plant that will blossom each year. Or bake their favourite food - the one you used to sneakily share with them under the table 😊

Remember the joy they brought into your life? Don’t waste those times, remember them with a smile, they taught us so much. We are all individuals- you choose - and remember it’s ok to miss them and shed a few tears too -YOU’VE GOT THIS ###

Wishing you all a safe and peaceful Christmas filled with love 💕and remember we are special - do you know why? Because we have been privileged to experience true and unconditional love ❤️ ###

Love Sue ❤️🐾

09/12/2023

Today’s Saturday Smile is beautiful Buttons who crossed the rainbow bridge just yesterday 🌈💔🐾

Cheryl says:
“Beautiful Buttons has gone to Rainbow Bridge to be reunited with her sister Smartie.

Buttons was 17 and the matriarch of our family after 2 1/2 years after losing her sister.

Housemates Loulou and Tiggs will miss her as will we, they defo knew she was head of the household!

Buttons 28/08/2006 - 07/12/2023”

RIP Buttons, fly high sweetheart 💕xx

Please join me in sending much love to Cheryl and her housemates ❤️🐾###x

11/11/2023

Wishing everyone a peaceful Remembrance Day, remembering all who gave their lives ❤️xx

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11/11/2023

This week’s Saturday Smile is my little Tilley who we lost 4 years ago this week.

Tilley came to us at just 6 weeks old having been one of 32 cats that Cats Protection found in a couple’s home. They had two female and one male cat who had been a very busy boy! The couple called the charity for help and Tilley was among the youngest litter.

Tilley had cat flu and a large hernia but we kept her because we knew it would be hard for them to rehome her.

She was amazing - always getting into scrapes and permanently looked like a stray due to an overactive thyroid and ulcerative colitis.

One night she came home with all of the skin hanging off her front leg - all her tendons were visible. It took a skin graft and 8 weeks of visits to the vets daily to heal. Ever afterwards her paw would suddenly twitch and move and her claws would grip onto whatever was near to her at the time. We had to gently ease her claws out to release them! We called it her Frankenpaw!!

Sadly we lost her aged 15 but we’ll never forget her - nor the way she used to cling onto our arms, looking lovingly up at us whilst dribbling down our sleeves!! 🤣 she was a special girl ❤️🐾

Have a lovely weekend everyone

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

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30/10/2023

Happy Halloween 🎃 🎃

Love from Boo 👻 and Lola 😻

P.s I gave them treats because they have got way too many tricks up their furry sleeves 😳😃

23/10/2023

Fly high sweet Bobi 🌈🐾 you’ve earned those angel wings 😇

The Guinness World Record holder, from Portugal, lived to be 31 years and 165 days old.

21/10/2023

Some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves but Boo wears hers on her nose 👃❤️🐾

She’s sending love to you all and hoping for a little less rain 🌧️

Have a lovely weekend everyone

Love Sue and Boo ❤️🐾x

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14/10/2023

This week’s Saturday smile is gorgeous Zico who would have been 14 years old two weeks ago ❤️🐾

Thank you for sharing lovely Zico with us Rebecca Zimmerman Bolster

Have a lovely weekend everyone 🥰

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

10/10/2023

Today is World Mental Health day.

What does that have to do with pet loss?
Actually, a lot!

If you have had the privilege to experience a deep bond with your pet, you may also have experienced a loss of your pet. Whilst I think we can all agree that we treasure those memories and wouldn’t change them for the world, losing a much loved pet can be devastating.

I believe there is still much to do to raise awareness of the effects of pet loss. Only then will we all feel able to share the pain we go through with others, without the fear of being judged, mocked or misunderstood, even unknowingly, by those closest to us sometimes.

The human-animal bond is fascinating and unique. The unconditional love we get from our pets is also unique and for some, it is the only time we have felt what unconditional love is in our lifetime.

It’s hard to put into words how it feels to lose our pets, the bond and the love. Not everyone understands that, which can sometimes result in us hiding how we feel, even from those closest to us.

This can lead to complicated grief and depression. So it’s very important to talk about your loss. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed to admit how sad you are feeling, it’s healthy to talk.

Please feel free to comment below about your pet loss - this is a safe page to share your feelings. There is also a Miss You 🐾 support group that you are welcome to join and post photos and talk about your loss https://m.facebook.com/groups/missyoupbc/?ref=share

If you know someone who is struggling with their mental health, please reach out to them - knowing that you care will mean so much ❤️

If you are interested in Pet Bereavement Counselling, please email me [email protected]

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07/10/2023

This week’s Saturday Smile is very handsome Louie who Jools sadly lost in January 2022. Jools says:
“It’s been one year and 9 months since we lost Louie. As you can see in the photo, he was always in the way 🥰. He was such a cute, naughty boy ☺️”

Thank you for sharing Louie Jools Marshall he looks so beautiful, cuddly and cosy in this photo 🥰❤️🐾

Have a lovely weekend everyone - apparently the sun is going to come out ☀️😊

Love Sue ❤️🐾x

💔 SaturdaySmile