13/02/2025
House building and Training Horses.
In 2019 we bought a house.
A 200 year old cottage, a mile away from the horses. We consulted with different builders and knowledgeable people, got the planning to extend and started our project.. and there the journey began.. !
At every turn, a new issue was uncovered, a new financial challenge to overcome. Every time we visited it felt like the builders had unearthed another issue.
Having initially been told the roof was in good order, on closer inspection, by another builder, it wasn't.. it really wasn't! It came off, and all the internal walls that originally were holding it up, removed.
We were left with 2 walls on a piece of land. This was in June 2020.. We'd put our house we lived in, on the market as we needed the money to carry on this build, but also the feeling was that the house market would be really slow during covid.. (how wrong those experts were!) It sold at full asking price in 6 days..
I remember saying to our builder, how long to take from this state to liveable. He said, 4 to 6 weeks, if you have all your trades lined up and booked in. I can't say I believed him!
I think if we could have walked away, we may have!
We had a neighbour who basically thought she had the right to interfere, to be awkward and come and shout at our builders and then, stupidly, me.. !
It was like some livery yards, where others feel the need to tell you everything you do is wrong and then make it a horrible atmosphere when you go against them. Even though it's not their bloody horse!! She knew even less about house building then we did, but that didn't stop her acting like she had all the answers as she's owned houses longer than we have..
We rejigged all the internal plans. With the original roof we were restricted by the constraints of where the weight of that was supported. Without it, we had pretty much a blank canvas, apart from there the wood burner needed to be because of the chimney.
We still have one 200 year old wall left, just one! According to the insurance company that is why our buildings insurance policy is more expensive, because although the rest of the house is brand new, that wall isn't. It's still on its 200 year old non-existent foundations, and although now more supported than it's ever been, by a new porch, internal and external reinforcing and it's stood for 200 years with no issue, it's the part of the house that is risky.. so the whole lot has to be insured as if its 200 years old, even though its actually less than 5..
It's not process I'm in any rush to do again under the time and financial constraints we had, but it would no longer scare me. In fact, watching Homes under the Hammer or such like on TV and seeing people say it'll take 4 weeks from a sorry state to being on the market, no longer makes me think people are delusional!
So, what does this have to do with horses?
The other day I was helping someone with their horse, and I spotted a derelict barn. In trying to explain why it was so important to "find the honesty of what you're sat on" I used the analogy of building our house.
I try to always use ways that help people understand my process and understand why it can be scary. You go out, you buy a nice horse and then you realise the roof is a bit dodgy. or you've had them for years and not been able to see where the potential brilliance is. Maybe all the focus has been on the one wall and siting of the chimney, and you didn't think you could do anything about it.. so gave up.
You start looking and realise the walls aren't all that great actually, so you try to find a builder (trainer,vet, expert) to help and they talk about the windows, the heating systems, the details or condemn the whole building.
What we needed and I think most people do, was our down to earth no-nonsense builder who was unfazed by it, gave us the hard news and didn't try to sugar coat it. Wasn't easy to hear, and at the time I would have preferred not knowing! He also gave us the solutions though. Set things out and told me what order to start sorting things.
We designed a house that worked for us, far better than if we'd have not unearthed the issues.
It's not perfect, there are things we would do differently if we did it again, but it's a nice place to live.
We moved in October 2020 and it was very nearly finished bar a few cosmetics. He was right. it really doesn't take long to build a house from ground up!
It's taken me many years to figure out where I sit in the horse world. To be able to even start describing what I do.
I always knew, I didn't fit with much of the thinking out there and at age 9, my pony was the only one to make sense. She scared me stupid in those first few months, I'm not going to lie, but she also gave me the courage (ok stroppiness..) to question the so-called experts... ( my parents encouraged that in me, but at 9yrs old, handed me my pony, and they left me to figure out my own path and for that I owe them everything.)
She took her own path at her own speed (fast) and laughed in the faces of people telling me to do x,y or z to control her..
Even though in the very early days she terrified me, I quickly learnt, that well, the experts didn't know. Their methods might have "worked" if you ignored the fact that you were trying to change what was built as a detached quirky bespoke building and make it fit on a housing estate, with strict planning guidelines about how the properties should look..
My pony was not letting anyone put her in a box.. She was as safe as houses mind (well built ones!) she just had her ways and it was her way or no way.. So for years I had her way only. Shut up, sit quiet and listen!
Over the years I've realised there are some absolutely fabulous, skilled specialists in the horse world, there are a lot of allrounders, who can do a bit of everything but may be out of their depth with more specific parts and some proper dodgy builders, who should feature on rogue traders...
Maybe, there aren't many down to earth honest builders. That can point you in the direction of the help you may need. Support you to go against what others have said, maybe those that convinced you to believe theirs was the only way for a long time.
The approach I bring to horses and riders is to help them find their weaknesses and to embrace them not ignore them. In the roof and foundations. To take down the props holding up the dodgy walls and see what we're left with. I love that part as then I know more about where we need to start. It's exciting, as now you can build a more robust combination.
As from there we can rebuild and make things stronger that will hopefully last for many more years. It can be a pretty scary journey, and I understand how it feels much safer to forget the niggles and just paint the walls a pretty colour. I try to be like my builder and support people on their journey pointing them to the people that can help with areas I'm aware of but don't specialise in.
Some people aren't ready for that journey and I've had to learn to be ok with that, Makes no sense to me as I need to know, to understand the why, but that's the stroppy kid in me that didn't just accept the 'experts' words over my ponies...
How many people are like our insurance company, focussing on the weakness and reporting that's why your horse can't do x.y.or z.
Is that always true if you've done all you can to support the weakness and make the rest of the body and mind strong?
My profile photo is of my adult version of the stroppy pony from my childhood. They overlapped being with me for a few years and I'm sure Emma passed on the baton to Eve..
At 5 years old, vets told me to put Eve to sleep as she had severe issues with her front feet. They had no more treatment options. She led me to the help to prove them wrong, to the specialists that could help with her issues and strengthen the rest of her, so they no longer mattered. I lost her at 24.
We are so trained by society to either not make mistakes, to not show weakness, to risk failing or to blame anyone but ourselves. To paint over things and not admit maybe we bought a house that wasn't quite as it seemed at the viewing. Do you try and make it what you wanted or hold your hands up, accept you missed the signs and do your best to fix them?
How much of that really should be applied to horses?
They don't and can't think like us. They don't fall in on the right rein for example, when you remove the support of the left rein and your right leg, to show you up, to make you feel weak or because they are lazy. They aren't judging you.
They do it as you were being the prop for their weakness. Do you take that prop away and rebuild ,sort out the unstable foundations or do you keep painting over the cracks that appear and merrily carry on until the roof falls in. Beware of builders who don't spot the weakness and tell you it's a horse problem or even a you problem. Maybe, they just don't know but if they blame the horse or you, I'm not sure that they'll ever learn the skills needed. Or maybe they miss the problem and merrily carry on building the rest of the house.
I know taking the scaffolding away can be really quite scary, but I also know that to really have a horse that can be solid and able to go on to be what they are capable of being, the best route is to take away the props and see what you're left with even though it may be ugly to start!
If I was do this house again, it wouldn't scare me. I'd just not waste time and money on people who weren't needed yet or at all.
I'd have them booked in, but firstly I'd be in there with the sledgehammer knocking it all down from day one, as then we could have rebuilt it so much faster with much less stress! I'll make new mistakes and learn from those too.
Why are all of my horses, loss of use and rejected by society?
Because I wouldn't just accept what I was being told as a kid, so I didn't do much painting over stuff.
I sat and observed the cracks while waiting for the right help to appear.. I was the one not trying to make the quirky house fit in and I was ok with that, even though it can be a lonely place to be.. Now I know I'm not as alone as I thought I was, but the internet and Facebook didn't exist back then!
My loss of use horses have just had a really good survey. Vets called in to diagnose the issues in the build. A so-called expert ignored the fact the foundations were not laid, the walls were wobbly and they stuck a fancy roof on them anyway.. 4 year olds working too hard and out competing, is sticking a roof on them ...!
With their hidden weakness uncovered, I can make a choice whether I take a punt or not, knowing I have many of the skills I need to help them and access to specialists for the areas I'm lacking or, they'll lead me down another damn rabbit hole!!
That 200 year old wall will always be there and a possible weakness but by supporting it and not just looking the other way while the cracks get bigger, I think I have a good chance my faith in my builder wasn't delusional.. !!
Trainer and Bit & Bridle consultant covering Notts,Derbys,Leics,Northants, and areas surrounding Retford Nottinghamshire.
