07/04/2025
🩵I am human🩵
Poem by one of our
Monday was bad.
It would have been good, but the words of one person can ruin your day, your week, your month, or, as is common in our profession, your career.
Not one of my current colleagues would set out to do a bad job. Not one of us doesn't love animals.
Most of us own animals.
Most of us have lost animals.
I spent my entire day trying to efficiently care for my patients, ensure nothing is missed.
I missed lunch. Again, but made sure the nurse working with me had hers and my younger colleague had a break.
I'm already running behind because I see a geriatric cat that has many things going on. There are options, and I give 5 in total, because whilst the animal is not immediately on deaths door, it will be within a few weeks if we do nothing. I allow them time to decide, I don't want to rush any decision. They opt to put the cat to sleep (a perfectly reasonable decision).
So I'm running later.
I see what should be my last appointment, a first vaccination in an adorable kitten. I have to switch my emotions, body language, everything, in a few seconds. The kitten is healthy and sweet and that could have enabled me to finish my day on a high.
But instead,
I see an emergency has arrived. From the description, I think it may we be something serious. My new graduate vet still has a few more appointments and this one doesn't sound simple. So I take it in so they aren't awaiting.
I perform the examination whilst they give me a history, and rapidly prioritise where the problem is and what it is likely to be, which I then rapidly confirm with some imaging. Sadly they only have 2 options, and neither are great. I too give them time to think, even though I should have left ages ago, even though I was feeling the effects of lack of nutrition and insufficient fluid.
They choose an option and I make it happen, only for them to give me an absolute slew of abuse. And whilst I know people are upset, not expecting such news, the things they say to me, the cruel words. They hurt.
And if they were saying them to a colleague, I would have no problem fighting back on their behalf, but, its me those hurtful words are aimed at so instead, I'm forced to leave my own consult room and have a colleague step in to finish because I only get halfway down the corridor before I break up in tears.
These people don't understand how their words land. They don't understand the effect they have.
I'm tired
I care too much about my patients and when abusive clients basically tell me that I'm still not good enough, then I start to believe it.
It's the first day I've woken up and really questioned if I want to go in to work again and open my battered self esteem to more abuse.
It's the first time I've truly questioned if I even want to be a vet anymore (whilst I can't really imagine doing anything else).
Cruel words leave scars far deeper than the physical scratches I get from my job.
And I fear how my day will go.
I fear the client, who saw my car when I left, may come back and damage my car.
I fear that I will not be enough.
I fear that next time I will not be able to hold my tongue enough to not tell them exactly what I think of them.
Today I am sad. I am exhausted. And I have absolutely no idea if I am enough.
The career I've given everything to, is also the reason I woke up and burst into tears today.
🩵Please.
🩵We are human.
🩵Abuse solves nothing.
🩵Hurt solves nothing.
🩵We are human.
💚If anyone needs support, please talk to Vetlife
💚Call 0303 040 2551
💚If the words of others cause you sadness, distress, anxiety, please reach out to them. They are there, always. 24/7. Bank holidays, night time, day time, early hours.
🩵We are there for you