26/08/2025
If you have ADHD, you’ll be very familiar with starting a task, getting bored, getting overwhelmed, and then just sacking it off altogether. Then comes the guilt, the emotional dysregulation, and the feeling of being a failure. This is especially hard when you’re trying to care for a dog you adore. So, I’m going to share some tips to help you support your dog in a way that is ethical and meets their needs, but that also works for your neurodivergent brain.
You may already be familiar with the concept of shaping. In simplest terms, this is when you take a task and break it down into a series of smaller steps to set your dog up for success and avoid overwhelming them. However, for the ADHD brain, this can feel like absolute hell. Patience isn’t exactly our strong point – we tend to rush things, and delayed gratification is not our friend.
So, what can we do to make shaping work for both us and our dogs? Let’s take nail trimming as an example. If you have a dog who has never had their nails trimmed, or who finds it frightening, shaping can help desensitise them in very small steps. To begin with, you might simply open the drawer or cupboard, take out the clippers, walk towards your dog, toss them a treat, and then put the clippers away again.
If that is your task for the day, I want that to be your only task. Don’t think of it as a tiny piece of a bigger puzzle – it is the puzzle. I forbid you from thinking about anything else that has to happen. Just focus on this: if the task is simply that your dog doesn’t feel afraid when you walk into the room holding the clippers, and you can achieve that through repetition, then you’ve succeeded. You’ve also given yourself a lovely shot of dopamine in the process.
Any time your brain starts thinking “Oh, I need to do this, I need to do that,” stop and remind yourself: those other things are irrelevant right now. They only become relevant once you’ve achieved this step. You can also help yourself by making a rule that you’ll only do it for three minutes a day. Does that sound achievable?
Your dog will also benefit, because you’re both set up for success. You won’t risk confusing them or rushing them through the steps too quickly, and you’ll also be supporting yourself to manage emotional dysregulation – which benefits everyone.
Good luck! Let me know how you get on.
