14/09/2023
Hi, my name is Toni and I'm fundraising for my friend Marie.
After one of her hospital appointments on Tuesday, 12/09/2023 she has found out that her 5 smaller meningiomas have all breached the 1cm size margin over which surgery is required. More urgently though, she now has 2 new meningiomas, one of which has attached itself to the eye socket of her left eye. That one is 2.5cm and threatens to contaminate the eye socket bone with infected tissue, thereby threatening Marie's eyesight. So she's been told that she must have surgery as soon as possible.
She is the only breadwinner in the family and so will lose her income. The recovery time from these surgeries can be lengthy as well. She has previously applied for ESA (Employment Support Allowance) and PIP (Personal Independence Payment) and was refused benefit. We will try again, but those of you who know the benefit system, know how long it can take from application to award (if any) of benefit and subsequent payment.
Marie has undergone surgery before to remove previous tumours and her recovery took well over a year, during which time she had to relearn how to eat, walk, talk, basically all our fundamental skills. She couldn't drive for a year either.
Marie is a cleaner. She simply couldn't work during her recovery and this surgery will have the same effect. The surgery has been described in detail to her which has left her terrified; can't say I blame her. But her overriding concern is the welfare of her sons. She will not have the money to look after herself, let alone her boys. And as if that's not a tough enough situation, their father cannot take them for the duration as he has his own battle with cancer going on. Her parents will help as much as they can but obviously can't replace her working income.
She has some choice about the surgery and that's almost like a bad thing. She even said "What if I wait until next year's check up before having the surgery?" The consultant's reply was "then you would have no choice; we would not let you leave the hospital and we would have to perform the surgery then". She is hesitant because her boys are already worried for their father and she doesn't want to pile more anxiety on them with what she refers to as 'my problems', but not doing so could potentially threaten her eyesight, possibly even her life.
Marie is not the kind of person who will just sit and mope about this situation; she's had a few down days and a cry to herself, but she's back at work 2 days after this new, devastating diagnosis, with the words of her consultant ringing in her ears, to let them know as soon as she decides and they will set up the surgery straight away.
So why am I raising funds for her and her boys? To try and make sure they have enough to live on while Marie is in hospital and during her recovery. The target I have set is just to start them off but obviously they will need ongoing support during her recovery.
My heart is breaking for them because Marie has been through this before, knows what to expect and how much she has to go through. Aside from being terrified of the procedure itself, there's also the risks of surgery which include not making it through the surgery, ending up blind because of the surgery, not being able to relearn eating, talking, walking, toileting etc after the surgery, forgetting everyone she knows and what that would do to her boys. And if she doesn't have the surgery? Potential blindness, her left eye bulging out of her eye socket, brain damage and threat to life. What a decision she faces; how do you wrap your head around that? But she does know she has to have it done, it's just hard to put that into the words that make everyone jump into action and crack her head open.
And how on earth can I help her? Well I'll go with her to appointments and on the days of surgery if she'll let me. She's fiercely independent and doesn't want to burden anyone at all, no matter how much we want to help her...
After one of her hospital appointments on Tuesday, 12/09/2023 she has found out that her 5 smaller meningiomas have all breached the 1cm ...
