01/01/2025
Just found the instructions shared with a furever Labrador family. Makr sure to read top to bottom. It would have explained a lot!
Dear Furfamily,
Congratulations on acquiring your Labrador. Please find the instructions for your model listed below:
Although your Labrador comes fully assembled, due to particular issues during production we do occasionally have issues with components such as screws. They invariably are either loose or missing altogether.
Mode 1: This is the sleep mode activated for a good part of the day. This is normal as your Labrador ages and you should not worry about it. Just accept the peace and quiet while you can.
Mode 2: Anarchy. Although we have tried to ease the effect of anarchy mode it’s not always possible. There are inherent issues with the timer settings of anarchy mode in regard to there being none. Should your Labrador suddenly go from comatose to running up the walls and in circles, you cannot stop this feature. We are in the process of developing an Off Switch. Be patient, please.
Mode 3: Personal space. It no longer exists. The sooner you come to terms with that the better!
Mode 4: Love. If it’s your first Labrador you will wonder how you have gotten through life without one. If it’s not your first, you already know you are very lucky and you know it won’t be your last.
Naming: Your Labrador comes untitled as we feel owners should use names of their own. If you are unsure, we have listed below a few names our owners use frequently. Some owners have chosen long repetitive names. We suggest that in time your Labrador will basically name itself:
Drop it, I said drop it, drop it!
No, no, no, no!
What are you doing now?
Don’t bark at the mailman!
Are you kidding me?
You are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!
Is that yours?
Don’t you dare!
What are you eating?
Don’t eat that!!!
I love you so much!
Stop begging!
Why are you laying on my head?
Don’t chase the kitty!
Get that out of your mouth!!!
Don’t chew on that!
You are so smart!
Software: Your Labrador is pre-installed with the highest quality software and hardware. This includes the loyalty chip, the love chip, fun chip, endless energy chip, and of course, the highly popular mayhem chip. They are all running on the What-the-heck operating system 12.2. Although this has been in circulation for many years, we have found it simply cannot be improved upon. It’s perfect.
Should you have any inquiries you can reach us on 1-800-555-Labs.
Thank you.
We hope you have many years of enjoyment with your Labrador! It will go by faster than you can imagine!
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