31/10/2025
💫 From Science to Soul – Day 4: Rupture and Repair
One of the most powerful concepts from Warwick Schiller’s clinic was something he called rupture and repair — the same rhythm that exists in every healthy relationship.
Most of us, as children, saw rupture modelled … but rarely repair.
Our parents argued in front of us, but fixed it later in private — or never at all.
So as adults, we’re often uneasy with conflict or activation; we think safety means “never letting anything go wrong.”
But real safety isn’t the absence of rupture — it’s the ability to repair it.
In horse training, that means I’m not trying to keep my horse calm at all times.
I’m allowing small activations — little waves of energy through the nervous system — and showing the horse that it can return to baseline again.
It’s not about avoiding stress; it’s about learning to move through it together.
When a horse can get slightly activated, then come back to me and find regulation, something shifts.
From a scientific standpoint, we can’t measure “trust” precisely — but it looks like trust, and it feels like trust.
Over time, each gentle rupture and repair strengthens the connection. The horse learns that I’m a ventral tether — a consistent, grounded presence who can help it navigate the world’s unpredictability.
And just like in human relationships, when repair is available, bigger challenges stop feeling so frightening.
Tomorrow: Day 5 – Clinginess and Flight – Two Sides of the Same Coin.