26/08/2022
Let’s just be......
I cannot recommend enough, just being with your dog.
Take some time and sit with your dog in different places. Why? To let them have the chance to observe the world. No pressure, no stress, just watch the world around them. Let them learn to be comfortable just being.
I often recommend to people that I am working with, that they sit somewhere, in the park, outside a shopping centre, in a carpark etc. and let their dogs watch the world go by. We want our dogs to be able to see new things in a low pressure state of mind. To become comfortable with other people going by, other dogs walking past and any other distraction that may occur.
The trick in this exercise is for you to be calm. Don’t feel that you have to have your dog’s attention on you all of the time. Yes, if your dog starts to focus too much on something, distract him or her. Get them to look at you, but let them look back at whatever it is too. If they relax a little that is good, if they are still increasing in anxiety or stress, distract them again. Make them understand that, yes, things happen but they don’t need to be worried or concerned and no they do not need to control the situation. Be the guardian for your dog, make it ok for them. Don’t feel sorry for them and don’t start to get anxious yourself.
I know that it seems easy to say, don’t get anxious, yes you may have an increase levels of hormones making you feel stressed, but be a good actor, project a calm relaxed state to your dog, even if you don’t really feel that calm. Dogs are super perceptive; if they think you are feeling anxious, it lets them know that they are right to be concerned. If you appear confident, they will think, ok, you have got this, I don’t need to worry.
One of the best ways to keep your anxiety levels low is to do something that is a bit distracting for you. Read a book, send an email on your phone, watch some funny tiktoks or whatever else you need to do. Yes, you need to scan your horizon and check to see what might be coming in your direction but also be aware that sometimes things just pop up without any warning.
I would recommend that you start doing this exercise quite a distance from distractions. This is being kind to yourself and your dog. We don’t want to set either of you up to fail. As you do this more often, you will become more confident. Remember, every success will help you and your dog be more relaxed. As far as how long, I tend to sit until the dog has calmed a little and is coping better with the environment. For each dog it is different. Some dogs really couldn’t care less and will lie down with a bored expression and watch. Other dogs are so wired that they are almost jumping out of their skin and in this state, cannot accept treats or respond to their name. If this is the case with your dog, move further away from the distractions and sit somewhere else. Don’t move completely away, as this can be seen as a signal to your dog that yes, they were right, there was much to be concerned about. If you have surveyed the environment and are comfortable that you are in a safe place and your dog is not going to be exposed to any actual or perceived threat then you are in a better position to support your dog and you can feel more confident in your ability. It is always good to position yourself so that there is no immediate risk of a dog coming up behind you. If your dog is hyper vigilant, work with them quietly, encourage and praise them and look for the smallest improvement, it may be that they respond to their name or a clicky noise or maybe they will take a treat. This is a win, move on. The next time you try it; they have a positive previous experience and will be a little quicker to get down to that point where they can respond to you. If things turn to mud, calmly walk them away. It is not a failure. While they did not get to a point where they could relax a little, it showed them that you had the situation under control; you were a good leader that was not going to let anything bad happen to them.
Just sitting and being is a good thing. Far too often we create a frenetic state for our dogs. Our busy lives mean that we are always on the go, ready for action at any time. We easily transfer this to our dogs as well. We are excited to see them, we build on their excitement. We play with them, hyping up their energy levels, we train with them, often again bringing their energy levels up. We take them places that increase their excitement; pretty soon our dogs are living in a state of permanent arousal. As we know, this is not good for humans to live at a higher level of stress; it is also not good for our dogs.
Let’s think about dogs for a minute, we know that their forebears were wolves. Yes, the dogs we have now live a much different life to their ancient forebears and the dogs themselves have been physically altered to suit us and our purpose for them but there are some things that we should think about. We provide food and shelter for our dogs; they have no need to hunt to exist. We provide a safe environment; there is really no need for them to have to be aware of the next predator that may take their life. However, many of the traits that are genetically inbuilt remain as part of their makeup. If you think about this and how their wolf ancestors lived it provides some perspective for what dogs need.
If your dog had to hunt for its food, it would not be frantically searching all day, it would soon run out of energy and not be successful. A calm, steady approach is much more energy efficient. Yes, they would have to cover a lot of ground, but this would be done with purpose. Crashing around from place to place would mean that they would burn too much energy, alert any prey that might be in the vicinity and also alert any predator that might think that they would be a good meal. They would explore their environment while they worked; they would use their amazing ability to scent to work out what had happened in that environment both historically and in the present. They would be aware if there was in danger. Mostly, they would avoid danger; it is a threat to their life. They would not unnecessarily put themselves or the rest of their group in a position where they were in danger. They would stick with their own family group; there is safety within the group. They would not have an urge to socialise with others from out of their group. They would also follow the leader and respect that leader because that leader will keep them out of trouble.
Most of their communication would happen in silence, eye movements, body posture etc. It would always be in their best interest to pay attention to the one that is the leader, silly behaviour would not be condoned, it places the others at risk. A confident leader in the group would be able to convey their message to the others simply by a look; at most, a slight lift of the lip, there would not be any need for aggressive behaviour. Aggression amongst the group weakens the group. Yes, sometimes some of the members of the group might indulge in play activity, providing it is not impacting on the entire group and it is not forced on those that don’t want to play, this would be tolerated. It is usually the younger, less mature members of the group that are involved in this. It would be monitored by the others and would be stopped if it was getting out of control.
Another very important thing to happen is that the group would take breaks to rest. While they would still be aware of their surroundings, they would relax and release some of the tension so that they could be refreshed and ready to move on when needed.
So how does this relate to spending time with your dog just being? It gives you and your dog the opportunity to spend time together in a relaxed state. It helps build the relationship between you and your dog. It also builds trust between you and your dog, your dog will understand that you have got the situation under control and all they have to do is follow your lead. It also is good for you just to take time out of your busy day to watch the world go by in the company of your best friend.