Heart to Heart - Equine

06/11/2024

Lately I find myself annoying people on FB.

I do believe it's best to express our opinions in a way that will make people want to listen, and not feeling judged. I'm not sure if people are getting more sensitive and less able to face a difficult truth, or is it me with less patience for sugar coating my words.

Perhaps it's also me moving further away from the mainstream approach, and things that used to look normal to me, are now unacceptable. For example, the thought of keeping horses in stalls now seems so cruel to me, I think stalls are a pretty name for cages. I can't believe it used to be normal in my mind. And I can't believe it's still is normal in so many places, even though we now have the science to prove how harmful it is.

Well, the online world does give you the option to find your tribe, and even if you are a minority, you start feeling like this is the norm. But I also want to influence in other places. I believe most people really want to do what's best for their horses, they just don't always have the right information. So I'm working on spreading the word of the tribe, and I'm trying to do it nicely. If I offend anyone, it's because my soul was offended.

I do want to engage in a respectful and informative discussion with other horse-people who share the same values as me. I think that mostly it's what happens. Let's continue to bring light and speak up for the gentle and kind creatures called equines.

31/10/2024

Who wants to play?

30/10/2024

When it's time for our horses to retire, it's time for us to give them what they need to grow old with dignity and be happy and healthy.
If you can afford to have a working horse, you can also afford to have a retired one. Just because you want to ride doesn't mean it's OK to pass your old horse on, like a used car. I understand that sometimes life is not simple, and we have to make tough decisions, but we need to always think of what's best for the horse.
Do you agree?

30/10/2024

Anyone in the south island can help?

28/10/2024

This cracks me up every time.
Next time I will write a post about whether or not ponies deserve their reputation.

The most disobedient breeds of horse.
Shared to me by a lovely follower called Ann. I did laugh. Needed it!

Laugh with me
Learn with me

I’m back home now from my exhausting Sydney business trip.

Can’t wait to look at my new hooves in the freezer.

23/10/2024

To force or not to force?

In traditional horse riding and handling, the focus has often been on making the horse do everything we want, with little regard for the horse’s opinion.

Today, in certain more progressive circles (at least the ones I’m part of), there is a growing movement toward giving the horse more choice. I often hear or read people saying they never force a horse to do anything the horse doesn’t want to do.

But has this gone too far? Choice is good, right?

Here’s how I see it: To keep a horse healthy in a domestic setting, there are things we must do that the horse may dislike or even hate. These can range from routine procedures like hoof trimming, teeth floating, and drenching, to unexpected treatments such as veterinary checks or wound care. These are all essential for maintaining a horse's health, though they may be anything from mildly disliked to outright hated.

Being a responsible horse caretaker means doing things the horse may not choose. It also means ensuring the horse becomes accustomed to tasks that may not be enjoyable.

On the other hand, never giving a horse any choice can have its own negative effects, potentially hindering the development of a meaningful relationship with equine companions.

As with most things, the key is finding balance—understanding the reasons behind our actions and being mindful of the horse’s reactions.

17/10/2024

15/10/2024

Some feedback from one of my clinics. Another one is coming up in Kaitaia next month. Get in touch for any questions or booking.

03/10/2024

I am so excited to host another clinic in Kaitaia. The first two clinics were a great success, according to the feedback I received. Everyone felt that the needs of their own horse were addressed and the exercisers were tailored to each individual horse and human.

Here is what Kingi wrote to me:
"Hello Tamar. Just wanted to say a huge thank you for your dedication and commitment to our horses and ourselves. I really felt like you catered for everyone's needs and the clinic was such great value. I enjoyed meeting the other people that partook and it was validating to listen, hear and share familiar concerns, but also acknowledging to stretch a little outside one's comfort zone. I would definitely recommend this clinic to all people who would like to have a two way conversation with their horse in a language that you can understand each other that is meaningful, honest, concise and mutually rewarding. Tamar gives a very holistic approach that allows you to self reflect and take responsibility for your horse's education whilst building your confidence. This clinic is too good to be missed, Tamar is a rare gem in in her approach to horsemanship and I sensed that the horses at the clinic felt listened to and that is amazing.
Thank you so very much
with much appreciation & gratitude, Kingi, Chief & Troy."

The clinic will be on Sunday 10th November, between 10am-5pm.

For bookings or more information, please get in touch with me.

02/10/2024

The true makings of a horse woman 😂

01/10/2024

Do you notice how your horses change with the seasons?

It’s spring here in New Zealand, and while it brings a sense of promise, there are also some important issues to be mindful of. The extra sugar in the grass and potential toxins can affect our horses in unpleasant and even dangerous ways. Fortunately, these issues can be managed with proper supplementation (if you’re unsure how to do this, I recommend researching it).

Another physical change we see in spring is that mares come into heat. Often, mares are labelled as stubborn or difficult, but I believe people can complicate matters by not recognising the mares' physical changes. If you’re a woman, or have lived with one, you’re probably familiar with the pain and hormonal fluctuations that can affect how we interact with the world. Mares experience similar changes, and once we acknowledge this, we can improve our relationships with them. It’s important to adjust our expectations according to the horse’s condition at any given moment.

Beyond these physical changes, I believe that because horses live outdoors (as they all should) and are exposed to the elements, they are deeply connected to the seasons, which influences their emotional state. For example, a sudden drop in temperature often results in heightened energy levels, while windy days can increase their alertness. On very hot days, it’s common for horses to exhibit low energy (and can you blame them?).

Why is this important to discuss? Sometimes, I feel we expect more from our horses than we would from people. We understand that people have mood cycles, varying energy levels, and fluctuating physical and mental capabilities. Unless we work in a demanding corporate environment, we can allow ourselves and others to recognise their needs. Some people might need a holiday, while others may want to spend more time with family, or find they can work harder—it's all part of being dynamic.

Our horses are no different. It’s unreasonable to expect them to always perform consistently. We need to recognise that they, too, have cycles, mood shifts, energy changes, and varying levels of willingness and comfort. This doesn’t mean that every time my horse shows resistance, I’ll automatically give her a day off. However, it does mean I strive to remain attuned to her needs each day. Through our connection, I can gauge her current state of mind and physical comfort.

I certainly make my share of mistakes, but the key is that I’m making an effort to listen to what my horse is telling me. This willingness to understand her is the foundation of our relationship.

Thoughts?

25/09/2024

In the relationships with our horses, we are the ones that need to take responsibility for everything. Here are some ideas for changing our language, so we take charge of every situation.
What do you think?

20/09/2024

How Often Should I Work with My Horse?

This week, I am once again faced with the dilemma of whether to continue with the fitness program I started for my two mares (getting back to work after a long break) or to listen to my own personal needs and take some time off.

I find this particularly challenging because of the perceived contrast between doing what’s right for my horses and what’s right for me and my family.

I know how important consistency is in getting horses back to work. I am also aware of the current weather limitations, and I feel the need to take advantage of some clear skies and dry ground.

At the same time, my body and mind are strongly urging me to take it easy this week. I used to be the kind of person who never rested; this dilemma wouldn’t have even come up for me. I would soldier on and continue with my work, often reaching a point where I was actually sick—that was my body’s way of forcing me to rest.

Today, I am a bit wiser. I know how to listen to my body when it whispers so that it doesn’t have to scream at me. I also recognize that being overworked hinders my ability to be the kind of mum I want to be for my children and my horses.

I won’t pretend that it’s easy, but I’ve reached a point where I can set aside feelings of guilt or shame, which are unfounded. I can now focus on what truly matters, understanding that what’s right for me is also right for my horses. Working them just for the sake of it, without the right mindset, will do more harm than good.

I forgive myself for not being perfect, and I accept that life doesn’t always go according to plan.

Can you relate?

19/09/2024

Get in touch to book or ask any questions.

10/09/2024

Important!

Sharing the road safely is important, so when you see a horse and rider on the road, remember: kia tūpato kia ata haere, pass wide and slow 🐴

This weekend 14-15 September, there will be more than 40 awareness rides to promote this important message taking place around Aotearoa New Zealand, so please take extra care. If you’d like to know more about the awareness rides, and to find one near you, visit Pass Wide and Slow New Zealand for more details.

05/09/2024

The second session of this new community is on the way. The intention is to create an intimate and supportive online space for those new to horses, or not so new but need more support.

You will be able to ask questions, share your insights, frustrations, or whatever else feels right. We went quite deep in the first meeting, so I'm really looking forward to see what will come next.

If you are interested, please get in touch. I'm working on finding a good time that most people can make it, knowing the time difference can make it difficult.

02/09/2024

Dangerous questions in groups.

I love Facebook groups! When managed well, they can foster a supportive and helpful community. You get to interact with real people who are in similar situations, often receiving advice from those with significant knowledge and experience, and all for free!

However, a downside is that you can also encounter a lot of incorrect advice. Sometimes, conflicting opinions can make you wonder if asking a question in such a forum is even beneficial for the person seeking help.

I believe the key is knowing what types of questions are useful to ask and which groups might be most appropriate for those questions. This brings me to the reason I started writing this post. There is a particular line of questioning in horse groups that deeply concerns me. The issue isn’t with the platform itself, but rather with the mindset behind the questions, which can be so lacking in awareness that it becomes dangerous.

Here are some examples—not quoted verbatim, but as I remember them:

“How do I start training my horse?”
“How do I teach this horse some dressage?”
“I’ve been riding for a month now; what do I need to know before getting my own horse?”
These types of questions signal to me that the person asking lacks basic knowledge about the topic. They may expect to learn what takes years of study and professional guidance from a few Facebook comments, which can be problematic.

The most dangerous ignorance is the kind that people aren’t even aware of. Any experienced horse person will tell you that the more they learn, the more they realize how much they don’t know. When you’re at a stage where you don’t even know how much you don’t know, taking significant action without proper guidance can put yourself, others, and your horse at risk. I’ve seen this happen too many times.

So, before you ask a question, consider whether it’s something you can truly learn from random comments or if you need more thorough assistance. And before you provide an answer, think carefully: Will your response genuinely help this person and be fair to their horse? How can you be respectful, helpful, and responsible?