10/06/2025
*Sharing here since most of our “doggo” friends are on this page
It has been just over 3 months since we lost our sweet Baxter, and I never saw this part coming. Murphy, our goofy, gentle giant, has changed so much. They spent 8 years adventuring together. Their bond was quiet compared to Baxie’s more visible friendship with Captain; but it clearly ran deep.
Now, Murphy hardly wants to come inside. He spends most of his days outdoors and curls up out there all night too (we have a dog door they can access). He NEVER was one to lounge in grass or where there are "buggies" & "buzzy" things that scare him. Yet, when we gently try to coax him in, he looks at us like he’s afraid we might hurt him. It’s heartbreaking.
For weeks, every day between 2–3 p.m. (Bax passed at 2:21p - weird, right?!), Murphy would go lay outside, face the same direction, and just… stare. Sometimes he’d let out a soft yip, sometimes he’d just sit silently. So, out of sheer desperation to understand, I reached out to an Animal Communicator (no judgment zone - I’ll do anything for my pack). She said Baxter had “passed the torch” to Murphy as lead, but that he didn’t want any part of it. She felt Murphy’s childlike, open spirit allowed him to sense Baxter nearby, and that Bax was gently guiding him during those moments. At her suggestion, we tried helping the pack shift leadership to Teddy. For a very short while, it seemed to help, but Murphy’s nighttime anxiety soon deepened. We’ve tried everything we can think of - more enrichment, special time/trips, increased daily CBD, sleeping in the living room, even lying on the floor beside him - but nothing seems to bring him back inside, physically or emotionally.
Grief is such a strange thing, even among dogs. I’m still lost in my own grief over Baxter’s sudden passing, and I never imagined it would hit Murphy this way, or ripple through the pack like it has. All of their behaviors have shifted - I am exhausted, sad, and at a loss.
If anyone has experienced a dog grieving another for this long, especially when it changes the whole dynamic, I’d love to hear your thoughts or advice. We just want to help our boy find his way back home. 💔