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02/14/2025
One of the great challenges for trainers is seeing this dynamic over and over. It’s a large part of what’s behind so much of the trainer burnout and owner resentment that you’ll find on trainer forums and in private conversations. Seeing possibilities—not just imagined, but actually occurring in reality—and then seeing them deteriorate or completely destroyed over and over—especially with something one cares so deeply about…can do that.
And just to be clear, this post isn’t an owner bash. It’s an open conversation, and an invitation for both sides to contemplate how to improve things. Because at the end of the day we’re all on the same team.
First, owners. There’s simply no getting around the amount of focus, work, sacrifice, and change you’ll have to make if you want to experience what’s possible with your dog, and what your trainer is likely able to experience already. No amount of money or lineup of trainers will deliver you the results of what your dog is capable of, unless you become the equal of the goals desired and your dog’s issues/possibilities. You simply cannot outsource the personal work. It’s like hiring someone to build you a race car, and expecting you’ll be able to drive it to its fullest capabilities simply because the money was spent and the car delivered. Nope. And you know better. That car will sit there with all the amazing possibilities and capabilities—and deliver none to you, because you aren’t skilled enough to bring them to life. If you truly want what your trainer gets, or even some degree of it, you’ll have to become the equal of whatever that degree and desire is. No shortcuts, no workarounds, no pay and play.
Trainers. You’re going to have to come to grips with the fact that many (most!) owners are simply not going to share the same level of obsession and excitement about dog training as you. Which means, if your client has goals which are more simple or less fancy and sophisticated than yours, and they don’t exhaust all the dog is capable of…you have to allow the difference without judgement. This doesn’t make them less than, rather it means they have different goals and objectives and priorities than you. And that’s okay. At least it should be. Everyone gets to decide how they want to live their lives with their dogs. You aren’t the arbiter of what’s “right”, or “best”, or “correct”. It also means that it might be time to adjust your training program to your client’s goals, rather than continuing to try to adjust your client to yours. This of course doesn’t mean you should dumb things down, and deliver substandard work. It does mean you have to wrap your head around the fact that regardless of your desires, no one is going to do what they don’t want to do—no matter how much you push. So, you can either be disappointed by a client’s lack of shared standards, or you can help them find the very best way to live with the standards they actually have. Which means you have the opportunity to craft a program and approach that is based on the reality before you, and what your client actually wants and is willing/capable of replicating. You can be frustrated and annoyed that clients keep “trimming the fat” off your program, or, you could trim the fat yourself, and ensure your program is the most appetizing and doable, and is actually done.
Reality will always have the final say. Owners, you can’t cheat the universe. If you want better, you’ll have to become better—continuing to attempt to outsource will only guarantee the source of success is outside of you. Trainers, owners will rarely share the same obsession as you—which is why you became a trainer and they didn’t—so recognize that reality and find the best way to make that reality the best it can be.