09/10/2023
Today is World Su***de Prevention Day.
For anyone that doesn’t know, I lost my dad to su***de on April 29th of this year. It was the last day of his life and the worst day of my mine.
♥️
For my dad, forever in my heart
"Su***de is the final symptom of a terrible disease"
Emotional pain is an unavoidable part of life. And many of us were not taught how to sit with it, how to feel it, how to hold it, and then let it go.
Many of us were taught to avoid it, to hide from it, to pretend it doesn’t exist.
But if pain is not addressed, it can manifest into things like mental illness, physical illness, deep sadness, isolation, insomnia, addiction, struggles with self worth, self hatred.. the list goes on and on.
Time passes and the pain deepens.
And then one day, you hear that your favorite person in the whole world, has ended their life.
Our dad, John Marino, died by su***de. A topic that is often avoided but needs to be talked about.
We, as family, as friends, as strangers, need to do better. We need to teach that all emotions are valid. That love is unconditional. That sitting with your pain is essential. That crying is a release. That getting help doesn’t make you weak. That mistakes can be forgiven, that the mind and body can be healed. That every single human is loved and needed. And that everyone has a purpose.
If I had to guess, I would say that dads purpose was to bring immense love, joy, and laughter into our lives. He was the best dad in the whole entire world. He loved us unconditionally. He kept us safe. He went above and beyond to support our dreams and visions, even if they scared him. He taught us to be kind and compassionate. We were his life, and he was ours.
Dad truly loved his circle of people, and he loved his dog, Tober. He was welcoming to strangers, he cared about animals, he took care of the earth. He was gentle, he was generous, he was sensitive.
He had such a clever mind. He was a problem solver, he was an inventor, he was a builder. His talent and passion helped accomplish so many dreams.
Dad was JOY. He was playful. He was curious. He was always laughing and pranking. He had this childlike wonder about him. He did whatever it took to get us to laugh or smile.
Even when he was struggling, he was always there. Asking if I was okay, sending emergency hugs, asking if I got my oil changed, talking to me about healing, helping me through countless break downs, helping me grow and build my business, making sure I was always drinking water, telling me how proud he was. That is who dad was. Someone who always put others first.
He called me peanut.
We were on the phone all the time.
I would give the world to have one more conversation with him. To say goodbye.
When we would FaceTime, he often had the camera covered because he didn’t like how he looked. I wish I told him how beautiful he was, I wish I told him how special he was, how grateful I was that he was my dad.
I wish he wasn’t alone when he died. I wish I was with him, holding his hand, telling him how much I love him. Telling him it’s okay to let go, and that I will find him.
But now it’s too late.
Many people that are suffering will not reach out, so we need to reach in, and quickly.
"I’m here", "you’re safe", "let me stay with you", can go a long way.
Have the uncomfortable or painful conversations. Asking someone if they’re feeling suicidal is not enough. Ask them how they would do it. Ask them for details. Pay attention. Don’t let anger cloud your judgement. Don’t avoid. And most importantly, don’t leave them alone. Because when you leave them alone, you leave them with their thoughts.
Dad,
You were the brightest light, the kindest heart, and the gentlest soul.
If only I had paid attention. I could have saved you. I’m sorry. I am so so sorry.
I love you forever,
Your peanut
♥️
Please TALK about su***de and mental health. Have the conversations before it’s too late
If su***de remains a taboo subject,
lives will continue to be lost in such a devastating way.
Please understand that su***de has a ripple effect and can destroy the lives of the ones that are left behind.
Reach out, keep reaching out. Save a life.
~
If you feel like someone is going to end their life, call this number immediately. DO NOT wait.
988
You must inform them that your person is suicidal. Police and an ambulance will come to your house and your person will be escorted to a hospital for a mandatory evaluation.
When asking someone if they’re feeling suicidal or if they’ve had suicidal thoughts, really pay attention. Them looking away, not responding, or making a joke about su***de could very well mean "yes".
~
We are raising money for the American Foundation for Su***de Prevention. Our goal is $3333.33 (dad’s favorite number). If you can, please donate. If you can’t, please start a conversation about su***de. Thank you.
https://supporting.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.team&teamID=322272&language=en&referrer=mf%3A2838132%3Ateam-copy
Please take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Sending so much love to all of you.
***depreventionday ***de
