01/03/2026
Things to remember. It takes as long as it takes 💖🐶🐾😉
The Rule of 3 - My frustration!
The '3 Days, 3 Weeks, 3 Months Rule' has been repeated so often in rescue that people forget to ask whether it actually does what it claims.
Here’s the reality, no, it doesn't!
It doesn’t set realistic expectations:
- Dogs don’t follow predictable timelines
- Trauma, genetics, prior learning, and environment vary massively
- Some dogs decompress/settle in hours; others take 6–12 months (or longer)
- Guardians often interpret the 'rule' as a promise, not a guideline. So instead of preparing people, it often sets them up for disappointment when their dog doesn’t 'fit the rule'.
It doesn’t reduce pressure:
- If anything, it can increase pressure
- Guardians wait for the 3‑week mark, expecting improvement
- They panic when behaviour worsens at 3 weeks ('He should be settled by now')
- They feel like they’re failing if the dog isn’t 'on track'
A timeline becomes a countdown. Yes, I think setting goals is a great idea, but set realistic ones that take away pressure from you and your dog!
It doesn’t normalise behaviour, because it frames behaviour as:
- Temporary
- Predictable
- Something that will 'pass' by a certain date
However, fear, reactivity, guarding, and stress responses aren’t phases; they’re communication.
Normalising behaviour means helping you understand why it’s happening, not telling you it will magically resolve by month three.
It doesn’t encourage patience. Patience comes from:
- Understanding canine body language
- Knowing how stress physiology works
- Having support from qualified trainers and behaviourists
- Feeling confident in what to do
A catchy timeline doesn’t create patience, but education does.
It doesn’t reduce returns to rescue. In fact, it has been reported that the opposite occurs:
- Guardians expect progress by 3 weeks
- When things get harder at 3 weeks (which is normal), guardians think the dog is getting worse
- Guardians feel misled
- Guardians return the dog because the timeline didn’t match reality
The rule can unintentionally invalidate the dog’s actual pace of adjustment.
So you see, there is a problem with the 3‑3‑3 rule? I don't think it was intentionally created to be malicious; it’s just not reality.
It tries to simplify something that is not linear or individual. It is not influenced by trauma, genetics, or environment. It is not dependent on guardian skill and support. It is deeply emotional for both dog and human.
Dogs don’t heal or settle on a schedule.
- Decompression is individual
- Stress hormones take time to stabilise
- Behaviour is communication, not defiance or being naughty
- Building a bond and trust takes months, not weeks
- Progress is uneven and non‑linear
- You need support, not timelines
Please remember that it takes as long as it takes for your dog to settle. We are here for you, and we understand.
Ali G 💫
Pictured: Bell, my beautiful girl with big emotions.
