09/05/2023
Dear Diary,
Just moved to TEXAS! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. Beautiful flowers, trees, gardens everywhere. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Stayed in today - Looked up lots up native, heat tolerant, full sun, no work to maintain plants on google. Surveyed local businesses to get a plan for a beautiful picturesque patio and sitting area surrounded by a lush pile of plants. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a crazy plant lady and sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with southern plants today. Lots and lots of native easy to maintain plants. Spent $500. Now to buy fertilizer, pots, soil, mulch, soaker hoses, water cans, buckets etc. …..but hey it’s a one time purchase right?!? I’ll enjoy this for years to come. What a breeze to maintain and get a little tan doing it.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. Even though it’s hot, watering plants is so relaxing and so fun. Just look at them grow. But how do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Watered my plants for two hours straight - bought two soaker hoses. No matter how much I water, they don’t look well? Oh well they will be fine. Took a break and fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work- but got to catch up on plant watering. 😍 Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Pickle (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Pickle had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Sh*ts. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Couldn’t water plants due to grieving Pickles. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
Spent five hours moving all potted plants to shade. Another five hours watering. The heat has killed half of all plants already. The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. I think if I water twice a day the plants will do better.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, with the half dead plants. Oh well closer to the hoses and water spickets to
Get to watering three times a day now. It’s too hot to sleep anyway. Pickle is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. Too hot to water plants today one day won’t hurt right??? - they are native they should be okay. Right!?! I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!! All plants are crispy. The grass is crispy. The. Soaker hoses melted. The plants by the house fell into the foundation cracks lost forever. NEVER ever buying anymore plants.
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Heard there was a half off sale of plants at Home Depot. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of
flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a$$ and baked cat. Did find a bargain on plants though, spent $300 dollars and got $600 worth of plants!!!! Awesome.
Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do sh*t for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Planted plants for a week straight and almost died of heat stroke. Had to water, sprinkle and soaker hose 24 hours a day straight. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state?
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. All plants dead again. That’s it I am NEVER buying another plant. What a waste of money!!! Went to the local plant nursery JUST TO LOOK forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. Sat outside with $300 dollars worth of plants waiting two hours for the windshield guy to arrive. Plants already wilted, me with another heat stroke moving in. The installer arrived to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking TEXAS . What kind of a sick demented people would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes. Also, does any one have any plants seeds or starters I could have when I get out??? 😜 plant version author: Celia Sellers
( credit: copy pasted the subject from “anonymous” )
Our future homestead will be learning all about bees, & sharing our mis-adventures as we turn our underdeveloped acres into our special retirement home.
