03/28/2024
Self-care is not selfish, it allows you to grow And flourish to help others
What Are You Doing Today to Maintain Your Ability to Rescue Tomorrow?
The last time I got on an airplane, I thought about the flight attendant's instruction to "put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others." That advice rings true in rescue too because it is so easy to become so overwhelmed that you forget about taking care of yourself. And like on an airplane that has lost oxygen, you will suffocate if you don't take care of your needs first.
I was brand new to rescue when I observed the end of another rescuer's career. Margaret loved animals and nothing would stop her from helping a dog or cat in need. She got into rescue later in life, but it took less than a decade to lose her home and retirement savings to rescue. Once her name got out there, she was bombarded with sad stories and she tried to save them all. By the time I met her, she was 90 pounds of misery living in a rented studio apartment with too many animals. She was tormented by a desire to help, but with a lifetime of financial resources lost to vet bills and feral cat food, she could no longer afford to help. In fact, she could barely take care of herself.
Sadly, this story is not unusual. We all know people who have "lost their life" to rescue. They are still living, but trapped in a relentless cycle of rescue that no longer brings them joy. Like Margaret, their name is out there, and they can't say no when the calls come in. For some, it will take financial devastation to force them out of rescue. For others, it will be their failing mental or physical health, or relationships lost to rescue.
Do you want to continue helping animals in the future? What are you doing today to maintain your ability to rescue tomorrow? Think about the impact that rescue is having on your life. Is it bringing you joy or is it a ball and chain without a key? We aren't trying to get anybody to leave rescue. We want people to create the kind of balance that allows them to continue rescuing in the future. And it isn't easy!
Start by answering the questions below. Get out a piece of paper and make a T-Chart of the positive and negative aspects of rescue. For some people getting together with a friend, family member, colleague or therapist can help. I have a pact with a trusted friend to discuss cat projects before committing.
Questions
What are some positive aspects of your involvement in rescue?
-Camaraderie and sense of community with other rescuers.
-Joy from improving an animal's life.
-Sense of meaning from making a contribution to the community and the animals.
-Satisfaction in learning a new skill. Yes, trapping is a skill and you get better at it over time.
What effect does rescue have on...
-Relationships with friends and family? Is your involvement in rescue affecting your time with the important people in your life?
-Financial responsibility? Do costs associated with rescue affect your ability to pay bills, maintain a financial emergency fund and save for retirement?
-Health and wellness? Do you have time to exercise, eat well and sleep?
-Home environment? Do you have time to maintain a clean and organized home?
If rescue is affecting your mental, financial or physical health it is okay to step back or take a break. Take the time to identify your limits. Write them down! How much can you afford to spend? How much time can you realistically commit to rescue each week? How many cats or dogs can you foster or adopt?
You are important too and if you don't take care of yourself now, you won't be able to help animals in the future. Budget your emotional involvement the same way you budget finances. Think of self-care not as stepping back from rescue, but stepping into a future where you will still have the emotional, physical and financial health to help animals in years to come.
