09/16/2023
This post may get personal. So prepare yourself.
I debated writing this on and off for weeks. But recent events, comments on my page, and conversations with other professionals prompted me to. As much as this page is a dog training education page, it’s a small business education page, it’s a working mom education page, it’s a lot wrapped into one. So sharing this here is important.
A few weeks ago, no joke, I was ready to close the doors of NMBDT and walk away. For good. I had gone to bed for the last time in tears, sick to my stomach, stressed and worried. I just couldn’t do another day. I was so scared of waking up the next day and doing it all over again, I totally and completely understood why so many veterinarians in the field chose a much darker way out.
Why? How could that be? Everything looks so great on the outside. A booming business, plenty of demand, a beautiful facility with another one on the way, a loving family, happy dogs. What could possibly make me want to walk away or worse? It doesn’t make sense.
What people don’t see, or hear, or read, is what we take on every single day. The hysterical voicemails, the impossible cases that are immediate emergencies, the rude comments, the pressure of social media, the incessant demand for attention right away. The texts at 11pm threatening response or a negative review. People truly have no idea. It is not playing with puppies all day.
I can’t live at NMBDT. I can’t. I have two young children. I have a husband. I have my own hobbies and interests. Yet I get people being unkind to my staff because they want me and not them. Then I have to soothe my staff and ensure them that if I trust them, others need to also, because I can’t be cloned, and we are doing our best. People want classes, more classes, but I can’t teach them all or I’d never see my children. We all started somewhere, myself included. And my staff needs the same support, care and respect that I would expect, because we are a team, even when I’m not there, I’m cheerleading them from the sidelines. No one teaches or trains at NMBDT unless I would want them to train MY dogs. Remember that.
I can’t respond within 20 minutes all the time. Sometimes it may be 24 hours. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about your dog, or that you should threaten me, or my staff, or call me 15 times in an hour while I’m trying to do a zoom workshop.
Social media is a great tool but also has turned into the devil for so many businesses today. My phone pings over and over with NMBDT being tagged or recommended or called upon for cases of dogs listed online. People write the most judge mental, unkind, vile hateful things without a second thought when they are behind a keyboard. And we are at its mercy. One misstep and we worry who will blow this up on fb, what if we make a mistake and someone runs with it and destroys 20 years of work just for 15 minutes of viral fame?
I am seeing levels of aggression in dogs now that in 20 years I have never seen before. Mature, dangerous behavior in very young dogs, reactivity, biting and fearful behavior that used to take up one or two consults a day, now fills my entire schedule for weeks. I feel like I get to the bottom of one pile, just to start at the top of another. I work so hard with local vets, colleagues and shelter/rescues, but we are all in the same boat. Dogs are being brought into this world now and adopted out too without any real thought or behavior consideration, and families are suffering for it. Conversations I hate having and becoming more and more the norm.
And ….. I take all this on emotionally….. I’m not a robot. You see, I truly, wholeheartedly, do this job because I love one thing more than anything. Dogs. I love dogs more than I can say. I want to help them. I love seeing them thrive. I love teaching people how to train them and enjoy them and understand them. As cliche as it may sound, they are my friends and I do this all for them.
I didn’t realize when I started NMBDT that in helping dogs I would take on all of this other stuff too. And that it would get bigger and worse - social media grew, expectations got higher, everyone has/wants a dog now, a lack of understanding of normal dog behavior/history/ethology, and demand for help became insatiable - it’s a perfect storm for severe burnout.
To be clear, I’m NOT closing my doors. And I am not trying to sound ungrateful. But you should know how close I came. What stopped me was thinking that unless you talk about it, and show people what’s going on, you can’t expect change. So, tell people. This needs to be explained. And maybe it’s not YOU personally who have ever done these things, but we all have seen businesses under attack on social media, we’ve all seen people get nasty and unkind to someone else. We need to step in and say something because it’s wearing good, true professionals down. It’s making us not want to do it anymore, or worse. And then what happens to the dogs who really need us and the amazing clients who do support us.
Please be kind to your small businesses. To your animal professionals. To your working parents. We aren’t huge corporate companies with a whole department dedicated to complaints or customer service, nor do we have that protection, we are typically just one person responsible for so much. Take a breath before you write a snarky comment or post a bad review, or hit the redial button for the 5th time during dinner time. It adds up on our emotional plate and it’s getting harder to swallow.
That’s all folks, thanks for reading, back to training dogs. ❤️
