What’s one big secret to motivating your teen without micromanaging?
CHOICES!
Teens want and need to feel in control. If you are always telling your teen what to do, and how and when to do it, they’ll feel you don’t think they’re capable of taking ownership of it.
But at the same time, they’ve shown they can’t be SOLELY responsible for it, otherwise it doesn’t happen.
This is where giving choices comes in handy.
You provide a framework and some guidelines for things that must be completed, but they get to decide how they can respond within those guidelines.
Here are some ways you can provide choices:
✨Give them two or three options of things that need to get done, let them pick the one that they prefer. Provide recognition and appreciation for completing the one they chose.
💥Let them control an element of the task - can they control the music playing in the house while everyone cleans? Can they decide how THEY want to organize something (especially in their own space)? Can they decide the order that the tasks get completed in?
🙋🏻♀️Let them delegate! Put them in charge for a bit. Give them a list of everything that needs to happen that day, then instead of calling the shots, see how they choose to prioritize and delegate tasks to members of the family. You may still need to support them in this so that every need is met, but you’ll get to take a break from nagging and they’ll get a chance to be in charge (and they’ll realize it’s not as easy as they thought to be in charge of so many responsibilities!)
It’s hard to loosen your attachment to being the one who makes all the decisions, but this is one of the major themes of parenting adolescents. Hand them the reins for a little, let them control some of what’s going on while still monitoring and supporting, and begin teaching them to take ownership of their circumstances.
Do you agree? Leave a “YES” below if you’re ready to give this a try in your ho
Empathy… compassion… bringing people into the present moment. Horses are the ultimate masters of holding space. Drop a ❤️ in the comments if you can see the beauty of the horse-human connection in this video!
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