Sit Stay Heal

01/18/2025

My Journey with Dogs: From Childhood Passion to Medicine Dogs

My connection with dogs has been a constant thread throughout my life. From growing up with an Eskimo Spitz in Dallas, Texas, to volunteering at the Animal Protection Club in the Ernstweiler Valley in Germany, dogs have shaped my worldview. They were more than companions; they were my heroes, my solace, and my teachers.

That bond deepened when I got my first dog, Stoney, a golden retriever who became my closest companion. But life brought its share of challenges. A traumatic encounter with animal welfare workers in Germany left me wary of shelters, and for years, I avoided involvement with them. Yet, dogs remained a lifeline during difficult times, helping me navigate the complexities of PTSD, grief, and emotional recovery.

Dogs as Healers: A Personal Revelation

It wasn’t until my late 30s that I realized just how integral dogs were to my well-being. Each time I was hospitalized for complex PTSD, it was during a period when I wasn’t living with a dog. After the death of my second golden retriever, Katie, I convinced myself life without a dog would be easier. But the absence of a canine companion left a void. My symptoms flared, and I found myself in a mental health facility.

That was when Ella entered my life. Initially adopted as my sons’ dog, she quickly bonded with me. Ella became my emotional support animal, attending therapy sessions and helping me find stability and peace. Her presence reignited my passion for the human-canine bond and inspired me to focus on helping others through dogs.

Repaying My Debt to Canines

After my divorce, I sought to give back to dogs in meaningful ways. I became a volunteer and foster with my local shelter, working to find a companion for Ella. The goal was to foster one dog at a time until we found the right fit. Ella, however, had her own plans. She became a mentor dog, helping to rehabilitate and train dozens of fosters, including Elsa (Phoebe), Spruce (Scooby), Denis (Franklin), Chaka, Chai, Mr. Lavender, and many more. Watching these dogs grow and thrive was both rewarding and therapeutic, affirming the healing power of service and purpose.

Volunteering also brought me joy in unexpected ways. Walking shelter dogs from their concrete kennels to the grassy fields, generously provided by a town benefactor, brought immediate stress relief—for both the dogs and me. I learned that one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is by putting yourself in service to others.

Challenges and a New Direction

Despite the rewards, I faced significant challenges working with my local shelter. Training wars, misinformation about behavior euthanasia, censorship, and a lack of transparency within the animal welfare industry triggered memories of past traumas and made it difficult to continue. These frustrations led me to seek greater autonomy in how I approached dog care and training.

That’s when I founded Sit Stay Heal. This initiative allowed me to provide support for shelter dogs and their adopters on my own terms. I offered training, walks, ADA advocacy, cost-free boarding, and day care, as well as facility upgrades and the creation of a dog park for disabled community members. Sit Stay Heal became a space where dogs and their humans could thrive, free from the bureaucracy and limitations I’d encountered elsewhere.

A Philosophy Rooted in Relationships

Through continued education in animal behavior, canine body language, and calming signals, I’ve developed a philosophy that emphasizes the importance of relationships over rigid methods. Exposure to the U.S. dog training industry introduced me to a variety of approaches—from force-free and positive-only methods to balanced and dominance-based techniques. Over time, I found my own way: relationship-based canine coaching.

I also had the privilege of learning from Lenape elders, whose stories and traditions influenced my understanding of the human-canine bond. Their teachings, rooted in nature and simplicity, inspired me to move away from overcomplicated or overly commercialized methods. Instead, I focus on:
• It’s not a race, but a relationship: Go at the dog’s pace.
• Loyalty to the dog, not doctrine: Each dog is unique.
• Feelings before actions: Consider how you want the dog to feel before deciding what you want them to do.
• Play and patterns: Use play and repetition to create new pathways.
• Clarity: Tailor your approach to each dog. There is no one-size-fits-all method.

Moving Forward

My journey has been shaped by love, loss, and learning, with dogs as my constant guides. They’ve taught me resilience, patience, and the transformative power of connection. Through Sit Stay Heal, I’m honored to continue repaying my debt to canines, helping others discover the joy and healing that only a dog can bring.

01/16/2025

Love is a four legged word.

12/28/2024

Bear and his sister Bunny are looking for their next chapter. Are you ready to step up and foster or adopt?

http://www.thelastresortrescue.com/availablepets/

12/21/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AxjnFqUBG/?mibextid=wwXIfr

For the Lenape Indians, the sun’s winter solstice was very important. It was time for the elders to begin telling once again the old traditional stories. But they were more than stories. People were expected to think about how those stories might provide insight beyond the story itself. The winter solstice gives the promise of new light and it also teaches as to work through the darkness in our life. Embraces the first day of WINTER today. The earth is resting and preparing for the upcoming SPRING. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL snow for the Winter Solstice. Our word for snow on the ground is kun.

12/09/2024

The concepts of “alpha” and “dominance” in domesticated dogs have been largely misunderstood and misapplied, stemming from outdated studies on captive wolves in unnatural conditions. Modern canine behaviorists and researchers, including notable figures like David Mech, have clarified that the “alpha” theory is not a valid framework for understanding dog behavior.

David Mech’s Perspective on Alpha and Dominance

David Mech, a prominent wolf researcher, was one of the early proponents of the idea of dominance hierarchies based on his observations of captive wolves. However, as his research advanced, particularly through studies of wild wolves, he publicly discredited the idea of rigid “alpha” roles. Here’s a summary of his revised stance:
1. Wild Wolves vs. Captive Wolves: Mech found that in the wild, wolf packs operate more like family units, with the parents (breeding pair) naturally leading their offspring. There is no constant battle for dominance or “alpha” position as earlier theories suggested.
2. Applicability to Dogs: Domesticated dogs are not wolves, and their social structures have been shaped by thousands of years of human influence. Applying wolf pack dynamics to dogs is a flawed approach. Furthermore, even within wolves, the dominance framework is oversimplified and not applicable to natural pack behavior.
3. Training and Behavior: Using dominance-based methods to train dogs often leads to misunderstanding and conflict. Instead, modern dog training focuses on building trust, communication, and reinforcement of desired behaviors rather than asserting “dominance.”
4. Current Consensus: The scientific community now emphasizes understanding individual dogs’ motivations and needs rather than relying on outdated “alpha” concepts. Positive reinforcement and relationship-based training are widely recognized as effective and humane approaches.

Misinterpretation in Dog Training

The persistence of “alpha” and dominance theories in popular culture and dog training stems from misinterpretation and oversimplification of Mech’s early work. While terms like “dominance” might occasionally describe interactions in specific contexts (e.g., resource guarding), they do not define the entirety of a dog’s behavior or require humans to act as “pack leaders.”

Practical Takeaway

For domesticated dogs, the goal should be to foster cooperation and mutual understanding through humane and scientifically-backed training methods. Dominance-based approaches often result in fear and stress, which are counterproductive to building a trusting relationship with your dog.

12/05/2024

It’s not the Swiss alps but it’s something…

11/29/2024

Three friends over for a visit.

11/16/2024

Mr. Lavender strutting his stuff around Madison.

09/30/2024

Let's get it started! Swing by for the watch party and refreshments if you are able. Bring your dog with you.

09/07/2024

Enjoying some time downtown Madison with Chaka and Mr. Lavender after their vet appointment at The Town Vets

Sit Stay Heal is here to serve. Do you have a dog that you think might be happier with more exercise? Maybe a walk or enrichment visit? We can help.

Going out of town and looking for a pet sitter or boarding in a home environment? We can help.

Have a dog that’s been kicked out of other day cares? We run a small scale highly supervised operation and have been successful at integrating dogs into peaceful coexistence when other outfits have come up short. Have a dog that’s a bit too much to handle? We can help.

09/01/2024

Bubba and Joanie. The odd couple.

08/17/2024

Here is another chance to help the rescue that is helping the St Bernard siblings.

08/16/2024

Here are five shadow work journal prompts tailored for someone using the human-canine bond in their trauma healing:

1. **Reflect on a time when your dog provided comfort during a difficult moment.** What emotions or memories did they help you process, and how did their presence guide you through the experience?

2. **Consider the qualities you admire most in your dog, such as loyalty, patience, or unconditional love.** How do these qualities reflect aspects of yourself that you may need to nurture or heal?

3. **Think about any moments of frustration or impatience you've had with your dog.** What do these reactions reveal about your own unresolved emotions or triggers, and how can you use these insights to heal?

4. **Recall a time when your dog sensed your pain or distress before you even acknowledged it.** What does this say about your ability to connect with and understand your own emotional state, and how can you deepen this connection?

5. **Explore the bond you share with your dog and how it has helped you confront your own vulnerabilities.** What aspects of your past trauma do you feel more equipped to face with your dog by your side, and how can this bond continue to support your healing journey?

These prompts are designed to help you explore how the connection with your dog aids in your emotional and psychological growth.

Sit Stay Heal - leveraging the power of ancient wisdom, artificial intelligence, and authentic experience to bring inner healing and increased community health.