01/13/2026
Powerful read!
Author unknown ~
For Sale: Animal Rescue
Make an offer!
We currently have for sale an animal rescue that has been around for 15 years, has an amazing reputation, and genuinely loves and cares about every animal that sets foot through our doors.
Let's start with the major pros first:
We have no donations or extra money sitting around for pesky vet bills, so thank goodness you won't have to be burdened by lots of money sitting in an account somewhere. Whew! You can start fresh! No worrying about how you'll have to spend all the millions of dollars and never-ending funds everyone seems to think we, (and other rescues) have.
You won't have the daunting task of finding animals to take into the rescue, because we already have 31 in our care; 8 are HW+, two puppies have parvo, 2 puppies have pneumonia and an ongoing vet bill of $4,000+. We also have 3 bite cases, 2 unsocial and extremely skittish dogs, and the rest are all big dogs that everyone has looked over a million times. But hey, who doesn't love special needs and high medical cost dogs, right? These 'special' dogs only make the rescue more valuable, don't they?
We have a list of vets that like to slip in frivolous charges when fosters go in, which is just AWESOME, because who doesn't enjoy being constantly kept on their toes? Then they are rude and sh*tty when they can't get a hold of you every second of the day. And it's always so fun to get a receipt for hundreds more than agreed on and discussed. When this happens, it will only strengthen you as a person, because then you get to go out and work even harder to cover the cost of those bills. You'll sleep peacefully at night knowing your vet's office is doing so well, they don't need your business anymore and therefore can talk to you like you're a piece of garbage. But hey, who doesn't love a little controversy in life?
We have hundreds of foster applications ready for processing. After you spend a day verifying references and doing a home check, so you can hopefully lighten the burden by having a new foster take in a dog, you'll be pleasantly surprised by how many bring them back a day later for peeing on their rug, not getting along with the ONE other dog in the house, etc. Thank goodness they don't realize fostering isn't about fun, but about doing a good deed, and good deeds aren't meant to be easy. We always have so much extra time on our hands, that it's such a blessing that we get to go through the process all over again to get that dog into a foster home! Who needs free time anyways? Our family members just love the fact that we barely have time for them, and that we are always on the phone, answering texts/messages all day and night and are always stressed over the next emergency bound to pop up.
My favorite part of rescue is when 2,000 people tag you in urgent animal situations, bullying you into taking animals they won't step up for themselves. Sometimes it gets so monotonous being responsible, trying to not get in over our heads, so who doesn't look forward to shaking it up a bit? It's even better when people beg us to rescue/back a dog, promising they will foster it, only to come crying to you a week later they can't keep the dog any longer for whatever reason. It only makes sense that fosters can't handle 2-3 dogs in their home, but somehow think it's any easier for those of us who already have 5, 6, 10+ animals, and yet somehow have to find a way to make it work when they break their promises. It's refreshing to be constantly reminded how irresponsible, unaware and unreliable people can be.
But I'm sure you won't have these issues if you were to buy the rescue, because I'm sure you'll have better luck taking in perfect dogs that have no socialization issues, aggression issues or potty-training issues. I mean, shame on us for taking the animals no one else will take, when we should have been standing in line for all the fluffies that all the other rescues fight over. (We should have been practicing our Kung-Fu skills to be better prepared). Maybe you'll have the daunting task of taking in all highly adoptable animals that are easy to place, forgoing the excitement of non-stop stress and anxiety.
You'll never have a dull moment in life ever again, because daily catastrophes are inevitable. You'll be at an adoption event while a foster lets a dog go loose and you have to assemble a search team, or they'll insist they have a, "sick dog that's dying" conveniently always after normal vets are open, so you get the thrill of having to pay Emergency Vet fees. Then the ER vet will tell you it's going to be a $1,200 visit, because it only makes sense to X-ray, skin graft, sub q, and give a full body massage to a dog that comes in for a sniffle. So as you play the fun game of 'How Can We Reduce Costs', while trying not to sound like an a-hole that doesn't care about the well-being of their animals, you'll be rewarded with a final bill of $300+, for a dog that is perfectly healthy, or only needed a few doses of Clavimox or Doxy. And the fosters are always so considerate that they just add the cost to bill, so you can pay 20x more for meds from the vet, when you have the same meds available at no cost. Thank God for fosters that don't want to bother us with the pesky task of trying to reduce costs.
And let's not forget about those adopters that come along every once in a while that really stir things up for you, because no one wants to be drama-free too long! They are the fun ones that will disregard your notices not to expose puppies to other dogs until fully vaccinated, and then they wonder why a month after adoption their pups are coughing, or come up with some other ailment. So to avoid being trashed all over social media, you pony up the cost of treating the dog you know didn't get sick on your watch.
Most importantly, you never have to stress over having weekend plans EVER again. They will be full of adoption events, home-checks, vet appointments and transports.
As an added bonus, we are throwing in a society that loves to criticize everything you do, albeit they never offer any help, have no idea what goes into rescue, and somehow seem to think rescue is a JOB and you get rich doing this. I mean, the last thing you want is people being keenly aware of how hard you work for no compensation. Who wants people empathizing with you anyways?
As if that weren't enough, we will make sure to fast track you to becoming an 'elite' member of the rescue club, where people tear each other apart, instead of helping each other out. It's so much better doing everything alone.
Now here's the REAL mamma-jamma, super-duper, extra special bonus that will get you all warm and tingly:
YOU DON'T GET PAID for any of it! That's right, folks! No pay! Because who really wants to be burdened by having an income to pay their living expenses, etc? It's so much more fun working two other 'real' jobs to pay for all of it.
So... Who's in? Try not to beat down our door all at once!
