Gentle Transitions Death Doula

11/16/2024

Death is not a choice, it is a part of life. Choosing to not go through difficult treatments for life limiting illness is NOT choosing death. It is making the choice to allow nature to take its course and to live comfortably and fully for as long as a person can. 💖

In honor of

11/16/2024

An excellent read. 💖

When I am dying, I don’t want the last sounds I hear to be machines beeping and alarms going off telling me what I already know, which is that my body is shutting down and I am dying.

I don’t want machines keeping me alive.
I don’t want machines feeding me.
I don’t want to feel the suffocation of the blood pressure cuff as it squeezes my arm every hour on the hour.
I don’t want IV’s stuck in my arms, or tubes down my throat.
I don’t want other people making decisions for me.

I don’t want to be in a room that isn’t mine, with a view of medical charts and notes stating when I had my last bowel movement, when my medications are due, or how many times I have been turned and repositioned, which by the way is obnoxious when you are dying and I definitely do not want that.

I don’t want fluorescent lights on above my head, forcing me to keep my eyes closed so they don’t burn from the glare.

I don’t want people walking into my room as though it is theirs and not mine.

I don’t want strangers telling me what to do or how to feel or treating me like I don’t have feelings.

I don't want people to talk over or about me as if I can't hear. I can hear and I will hear you!

I don’t want my family to wait day after day in a stark hospital room knowing there is nothing else anyone can do but wait.
This is not how I want to die.
This is not how I want the people who love me to see me die.

I have written down everything that is important to me so that none of the above ever occurs.
I have listed where I want to be, who I want there, what music I want to hear, how I want to be cared for, what I want to wear, how I want my symptoms managed, and to what extent I want people to go to keep me alive.

When I am dying, I want my wishes honored, my voice heard, and my death peaceful.
I want this for you too!

Please write down your wishes and share them with the people you love.
Have the conversation.
Talk to your family and friends.
I promise you… it won’t happen sooner because you talked about it.

xo
Gabby

My book “The Conversation” is a great way to get the conversation started.
https://a.co/d/5kDTiSn

My class “Your End-of-Life Wishes”
can be found here:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/your-end-of-life-wishes

You can find this blog on my website:
www.thehospiceheart.net

10/24/2024

Planning on teaching a death doula class in January.
If you’re interested in learning this very rewarding career, message me and I’ll get you enrolled 💖✨

10/08/2024

I’m getting back to work on my Death Doula services. I am presently looking for a space to hold classes in.
I am NEDA proficient in education and doula services. If you feel a calling to care for those nearing the end of their lives, I’ve got you covered. Message me and I’ll save a space for you as we all navigate how to hold space for those at the end of their lives.
Much love 💖✨

08/07/2024

5 weeks v**e and booze free today.
I’ve had some health scares and it feels really good to let GO of things that do not serve me, my body and my health.
Life IS crazy but when we focus on the things that we CAN control, things become a lot less difficult. 💖

04/17/2024

My lovely friend and teacher Alua Arthur wrote a book!! I’m so excited to snuggle up and read it!! 💖🎉

03/07/2024

The way that we speak about death is pretty absurd. We act as if it is a punishment for doing this that or the other thing. In reality, our bodies will ALL get sick and die one day or, we could perish in an accident. Death is simply the cost of life. That is all.

03/05/2024

Just finished watching six feet under for the third time. I had an epiphany, I think that watching that show is where my death doula journey truly began. The show is absolutely perfect and has the most amazing ending to a series ever. Absolute and total perfection. I’ll have to watch it again like 50 more times before I leave this planet. Thank you to my babe for letting me ugly cry all over your chest 🥰😘🤴🏻🥰 

02/02/2024

I absolutely love my doula sisters!! Thank you to Death Doula Kacie for your amazing support and guidance!! You are appreciated!! 💖💕✨

02/01/2024

Please and thank you!! One of my strongest memories of sitting with my dad in hospice is of a lovely nurse who swept into the room and checked on my dad often. She made sure to tell him what she was doing before she did it regardless of the fact that he was in his sleep coma. Every couple of hours she swept in and made sure that his mouth was clean and moist and she dabbled vaseline on his lips so that they wouldn’t crack and hurt him. Bless her 💖 During our dying experience, it’s the little things that bring comfort to our dying person and their people that are present. I don’t remember her name but I remember how she made me feel. And I felt that my dad was safe and well cared for. Much love to all who are grieving today 💖

02/01/2024

I had to cancel my last death café as I tried to have it during the holidays. This time it’s ON! I’ve sent out the invites. If you didn’t receive one and would like to attend, comment and I’ll add you to the list. 💖✨

01/31/2024

This right here…watching my loved one dealing with her finance’s death is heartbreaking. We’ve barely just had a funeral service and she cannot even have the time or space to grieve as the bills keep rolling in. America is broken. The almighty dollar is all that anyone cares about and meanwhile, humans are struggling with illness, both physically and mentally and there’s no room for grief. We really must do something about this. People deserve more than a couple of days off when they lose their loved ones… much love to all who are grieving today.

01/25/2024

Celebrating my 4th year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. I could never have made it without you. 🙏🤗🎉

01/17/2024

How can doulas help?
You may not realize this but unless you can afford a round the clock nurse to care for your dying family member, you will be the one providing MOST of the care. Your hospice nurse will only be spending about 45 minutes to an hour with you once per week.
This is where we doulas come in. We have TIME. I am able to provide respite services so that you can step away and breathe, shower, grocery shop and tend to other things that need to be handled. And you can even get some sleep, I will sit with your dying person.
I am able to spend time with YOU and hold space to allow you to vent your feelings and concerns and I am able to help give guidance as to how we can make things less stressful for you and your loved one.
I am able to assist with keeping the house, preparing meals and caring for pets so that you may rest or spend time just being with your dying person.
You don’t have to go it alone. I cannot heal your person but, I can help lessen the stress of this difficult life changing event.
Send me a message and we will schedule a free consultation call.
💖

01/06/2024

In order to be there for the ones that I care for, I need to have a clear head 🥰

01/03/2024

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of a dear one’s death. My kiddos grandmother. This whole last year was one where we had to learn how to live life without her. The kiddos have had birthdays, major accomplishments and of course the holidays. Grief is an odd thing as I found myself wanting to give her a call with awesome updates and I’m sure that the kids did too. So we feel that pang of loss again and again when we realize that if we call, there’s no one on the other end of the phone. So we learn to speak to her in our minds and sometimes even out loud and as people still in human form, we must learn to live with the response of silence. And sometimes, once in a while, we all get what we consider to be signs from her and the others that have gone. Those days are really special ones. Much love to all who are grieving today. 💖

01/02/2024

Hello to my new followers!! I am so grateful for your support!! Our lives are made up of 3 things. The day that we are born, the day that we die and the dash in the middle of those two dates. This year, I plan to make this page much more active! I plan to make the most of “the dash” by continuing to educate others on how we can ALL change end of life for the better for our loved ones and for ourselves. I believe that the more that we educate ourselves, the less scary death will be. The more that we educate ourselves on how to care for others during the dying process, the easier it will be.
Much love to you all and thank you for being a part of my journey 💖✨