09/04/2024
LIFE GOES ON
I look at my emails once every three hours during the day, 5am to 11pm, deleting the promotions, irrelevant emails selling insurance or telling me that I’ve won something. One of the prominent emails that I delete are postings about dogs scheduled for euthanization primarily from southern Florida. I don’t even look at the emails any longer because I can’t do anything for the myriad dogs awaiting death. It is depressing, unhinging, I know that I can’t help them only shutter at the thought of what they are going through.
Perhaps we could save some of them if we only had room to take them in. Stretched to the point of breaking our rescue fights against the tide of surrenders and found dogs in the wild. How could we possibly do more? At the end of the day, I go to sleep with the howls of our family calling for a solution that we all know is not coming anytime soon.
Rescue work isn’t a glamorous effort, it doesn’t reward you with fame and fortune, on the contrary it is a lonely job. The only benefit we get is a lick of the face, a wagging tail, and the look of thanks our dogs give us at feeding time. It is not an ideal situation for them, they are not free, but they are alive and healthy. Occasionally, averaging about 5 times a month, one of our lucky charges gets a chance at a new life with all the attention and happiness that comes with being apart of a loving family where they are one of maybe a couple of other dogs living in freedom and comfort. I often wonder if they remember where they have come from.
Again, I search my emails and again I delete them. Am I any different than the executioner? Do I care less about those I can’t save? My fear is I won’t keep up with the tasks I already carry. I will achieve an equilibrium of feelings as the entropy of my consciousness fades my ability to care.
Life goes on for the community, immutable against the tumultuous flow of unwanted souls. In the corner of my emotional attachment to the rescue effort is an anger that simmers that only a dog’s breathing love keeps at bay. Today I commit to carry on with the work knowing that not all are rescued, that a community ignores the suffering for they too are suffering.
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