01/07/2025
Whether or not you’re familiar with Hemingway, this short essay is well worth reading. These same principles of being fully present, fully listening, fully observant and intentional apply to my relationship with my mules and horses. These are attributes that can be practiced…exercised continually. Relationship/leadership is not just about moving the feet. It’s about understanding how to reach that other being…not in some “mystical” sense but in a way that truly connects.
*I was asked at a clinic years ago what I thought was one of the most important qualities in working with horses and mules. My response; observation and listening.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
Ernest Hemingway once said:
When people talk listen completely. Don’t be thinking what you’re going to say. Most people never listen. Nor do they observe. You should be able to go into a room and when you come out know everything that you saw there and not only that. If that room gave you any feeling you should know exactly what it was that gave you that feeling.
It’s a rare and profound gift to be fully present with someone, and yet, it’s something so few of us truly offer. Most people only half-listen, their minds already formulating their next words, distracted by their own thoughts, or zoning out entirely.
Imagine how powerful it would be if we listened more deeply—if we made a commitment to being fully engaged, to hearing and understanding not just the words, but the emotions and intentions behind them. Listening isn’t just about waiting for your turn to speak; it’s about absorbing what someone else is sharing and making them feel heard, valued, and understood. It’s about connecting on a level deeper than surface conversations, because when you truly listen, you open a door to empathy and genuine connection. And isn’t that what we’re all really longing for?
Beyond listening, there is also the art of observing, of truly noticing the world around you. When you walk into a room, take a moment to soak in everything. Notice the details—the way the sunlight filters through the windows, the color of the walls, the expressions on people’s faces, the way someone is nervously tapping their foot or laughing with their eyes more than their mouth. Most of us rush through spaces, our minds preoccupied and our eyes barely registering what’s in front of us. But there’s magic in paying attention, in being mindful of the small details that make every moment unique.
Think of the room not just as a physical space, but as an experience. Every room has a mood, a feeling, an energy. It could be the coziness of a room filled with laughter, the tension of a space where a difficult conversation just took place, or the warmth of a place that holds beautiful memories. The more we tune in to these subtle feelings, the more deeply we can understand our surroundings and the people in them. What gave you that feeling? Was it the way someone’s eyes lit up when they smiled? The scent of freshly brewed coffee that brought a sense of comfort? Or perhaps the distant echo of a song that stirred up a forgotten memory?
Being observant and emotionally aware in this way takes practice, but it also transforms the way you move through life. You become more sensitive, more attuned, more aware. You start to notice the way a friend’s voice softens when they’re talking about something they love, or the slight shift in someone’s tone when they’re hiding something. You begin to see and feel things that others miss entirely, and that awareness can lead to a richer, more connected experience of the world.
It’s a beautiful thing to be a person who listens with their heart, who observes deeply, and who feels fully. It means you’re not just drifting through life; you’re living it intentionally. You’re soaking in the fullness of each moment, aware of the beauty and complexity around you. It means you understand people better, because you’ve made the effort to see and hear them, to pick up on the nuances of their being. It means you can be the kind of person whose presence feels calming, because people know you’re truly there with them, not just waiting for your turn to talk or half-heartedly engaging.
So, when you’re in conversation, let go of the urge to plan your next statement. Take a breath, relax your mind, and give the person speaking your undivided attention. Let yourself be present, fully. When you walk into a room, slow down and really see it. Observe the details, feel the energy, notice the small things that make that moment unique. You’ll find that life becomes richer, fuller, and more meaningful when you learn to listen and observe completely. It’s not just about hearing words or seeing objects—it’s about feeling the fullness of everything around you. It’s about experiencing life, deeply and completely.
