Zen the Mustang

12/21/2023

Happy Winter Solstice, everyone, and for folks in the northern hemisphere, here’s to warmer days ahead ☀️

Here’s a quick video of Zen catching me in the field from a couple of weeks ago—in this huge pasture, I didn’t even have to put his halter on for him to come with me! He‘s always good to catch, though he doesn’t always decide to follow me without any cues, so this was a treat 🥰 I didn’t have any food on me here and he knew that; I rarely bring food into his pasture because of all of the other horses (he gets food once he’s at the grooming station, or at least out of the pasture).

Eventually we got far enough away from the other horses that he did get a little unsure, so I haltered him to bring him the rest of the way in, gave him his food, and turned him right back out. I had planned to work with him but was just so smitten by his offer to come hang out that I wanted to keep things really low-key.

As wild as it might seem to drive 70 miles round trip to just hang out with your horse, there are days I go see him that we don’t even leave the pasture. When I turn him out, I walk him to his favorite herd mates whenever possible so he doesn’t need to search the large fields alone. I can’t say for certain whether that’s helped our relationship, but it certainly hasn’t hurt, and I love doing it! Quietly observing and interacting with a herd without an agenda is a wonderful privilege that I think every horse enthusiast should try to take part in at some point if they can!

12/14/2023

Happy National Horse Day to the best a person could ask for! It doesn’t matter whether it’s been four hours or four months, I’m always just as excited to see this horse as the day he arrived in Montana, and we always pick up right where we left off. I hope we have many more years to come… I tell him every day that he’d better be here when I‘m 50, which means he needs to tolerate me for at least 23 more years 😉

Photocredits to Wonderfur Photography

12/03/2023

I just realized that it’s been about a year since Zen came home from training with Amy Skinner Horsemanship. I remember holding his lead rope after he’d been away for 8 months, the trailer pulling away, and me wondering, “What do I do now?” I‘d taken lessons with Amy and been following her videos closely. I knew what to do in my head, but in my heart, I felt fear. Would I ruin the horse with the gorgeous foundation who was now standing on the end of my lead rope?

Parts of me wishes I could tell that version of myself that it would all be okay. There would be a lot of self-doubt, some dry spells, plenty of times wondering if I was in over my head. But both Zen and I have had some incredible teachers who’ve given me the confidence to not only learn new things, but to keep learning even without their direct guidance. I’m so grateful for my teachers, both mentors and peers, and can’t wait to see where Zen and I are after another year of learning and growing 🥰

12/01/2023

Very long time no post, but Zen is handsome, fabulous, and happy to work even after several weeks off due to my adjusting to a new job ❤️ I’ve tried my best since adopted Zen to make sure his needs have been met as much as possible, and due to that and getting a great foundation from my teachers, Zen always comes back from a break just as good as before.

Zen was just a bit tight during our groundwork warmup, and I had the amazing experience of being able to continue to help loosen him up WHILE riding. His left lead canter transition was still tight (my fault!), but he was willing to move through a tight canter transition without bucking when that would have set him off two years ago. Then, the right lead—normally the tougher side—was so smooth that I hardly noticed the transition until it happened. And all after so much time off from riding, as well. He’s incredible!

09/21/2023

Amy started Zen under saddle, and nearly a year later, he’s sound, relaxed, and confident in his work! I was in the first beta group to start the lunging course in July, and it was exactly what Zen and I needed to find our rhythm again! Zen is truly never more comfortable to ride than he is when I’ve spent just a couple of minutes doing some gymnastic lunging first at just the walk and trot (we sometimes canter on the lunge but not often), so I’ve started to try incorporating that before most rides just to soften Zen’s body and mind.

It’s completely different from the lunging people are used to, and I very rarely (never say never haha) have to worry about Zen bolting or bucking on the line. I highly recommend this for anyone with a cold-backed horse, a horse who struggles with realization, a horse who’s ready to start rehabbing from injury, a young horse, an older horse… truly, any horse! If you commit to approaching the course with an open mind, you can’t go wrong with this one!

You can still sign up for this gymnastic lunging course! It’s not a quick fix, not a fad, but systemic change to create true balance!

07/26/2023

Long time no updates, but Zen is doing awesome! He’s happy, healthy, and now that I’ve finished grad school, I don’t have to rush my visits with him, and our relationship is starting to feel even better. Not feeling rushed makes all the difference in the world for me, and I’m sure that makes a big difference for him, too. I can spend so much more time tuning into all of the little ways he tries to communicate with me and don’t feel as compelled to check off “tasks” with each visit, and this is reflected in how much softer he’s been for catching and haltering, grooming, picking up feet, tacking, standing for mounting, and even things like sprays and hosing which weren’t always easy before!

A couple of weeks ago, I joined Amy Skinner Horsemanship’s 6-week lunging course, so we’ve been more focused on lunging than riding lately to reinforce all of the straightness, balance, rhythm, and stability that he learned during his 8 months with Amy. He’s doing so well and looking so strong and supple! Can’t wait to get back on soon 🥰

07/01/2023

A bit late, but last Thursday (June 22nd) marked two years since pulling Zen from the corrals!! We unintentionally celebrated our two-year anniversary with not only our first lesson, but our first trip off property since Zen has been home!

I have to admit that I was super nervous leading up to the lesson since I admittedly missed some of my due diligence and didn’t practice loading, etc, but Zen loaded like a champ, and after looking around some, was pretty much as cool as a cucumber for our lesson—and loaded just as happily for the trip home!

I can hardly believe the journey from the untouchable horse Hannah Catalino Liberty Horsemanship helped me gentle at liberty in Montana, the horse I finally realized needed more help than I knew how to give who went to Amy Skinner Horsemanship for 8 months, and finally this happy, comfortable, willing little Mustang with whom I can now take lessons with my childhood coach, Felicia Balzano. I’m so grateful for everyone who’s helped me in this journey and all of Zen’s wonderful followers ❤️

Here’s to two years with the best equine partner a person could ask for, and decades more to come!!

06/16/2023

Big news from Zen and me! We’re a little late in the season, but as part of our Pride month celebration, I’m excited to share that we have our first product affiliation with Padded Ponies! Zen’s lovely saddle pad and ear bonnet came from Padded Ponies, and you can get your own here by following our affiliate link! https://paddedponies.com/camd

Padded Ponies also has 20% off Pride tack all month long with the code PRIDE20, and Zen’s riding halter is available at Counter Canter Designs!

All marginalized folks are welcome here 🥰🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

06/08/2023

I have to admit that this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes—and this is Zen! Zen and I had a bit of a rough go of things on Monday. He was unregulated pretty much the entire time, and I was at a bit of a loss of how to soothe him.

Zen always tells me exactly how he feels all the time, and admittedly, I sometimes wish he would just do what I wanted! But how would that improve me, him, or our relationship? So, give me a horse who says ”no”. It’s never easy, but it’s absolutely worth it in the end and makes me a much better horse person!

I want horses to have opinions.

A horse with an opinion will express when they do not feel safe - because they are being pushed too hard, because they are hurting, because we’re asking for something incorrectly, because our energy is off. An opinion can tell me that something is not right - and it is my job to do my best to figure it out.

Leslie Desmond famously said “What value does yes have if no is not an option?” If we don’t give them the ability to express themselves, how will we have a clue how they are feeling? Do we actually care? How will they be able to learn willingly verses through submission? And yes, there is a difference. A BIG difference.

A horse with an opinion is thinking for themselves, verses blindly doing what is asked even when they are not mentally or physically capable. Better to refuse a fence rather than jump it in such a way that is going to be dangerous. Better to be unsettled in warm up and try to figure it out before entering the show ring. Better to act up in smaller ways, rather than push them through until the bigger explosion or the really unsafe risk happens.

In my practice, the horse is a feedback loop. How she moves and reacts, in addition to what I feel under my hands and see, tells me things. I need to be willing to let the horse have an opinion, to express how they feel, so that I do not push beyond boundaries to ask too much. I try not to get to “no”, but no is okay. No is important, just as important as yes.

A teacher recently said to me that the way we train and ride horses is often separating their sensory and motor functions to the point that they really don’t know where their bodies are in space. The way we strap down their heads and prevent full range of eye sight; the way that we restrict breathing and mouth movement (which impacts the entire body) by cranking nosebands tight; the use of harsh bits; when we drug them before we ride; the way that we simply ask for constant submission.

I have not really stopped thinking about this.

We are, in essence, teaching horses to ignore their nervous systems when we are on their backs.

No thanks.

No “dead broke” horses for me. If my horse, or any horse I’m working with, is feeling fear or pain or sweet release, I sure as hell want to know it.

Photo credit: Olia Gozha

05/26/2023

I feel like I've been keeping secrets from you all, but truly, it's just that it keeps slipping my mind to update just how AWESOME Zen's going right now! 🤩 Just a sneak peek of some really good moments from our ride on Monday--of course, it didn't all look like this, but he tried his heart out for me! Thank you to Hannah Catalino Liberty Horsemanship and Amy Skinner Horsemanship for giving Zen such a strong foundation and to Kieran for the screenshots--videos to come 🥰

03/10/2023

Long time no post! Enjoy a quick video of the most handsome Mustang galloping into the sunset! 🐎

02/14/2023

Happy Valentine's Day from Zen! I hope you all got plenty of pony smooches today 💕

02/09/2023

Long time no post, things have been busy!! But the boy and I had a HUGE milestone today—our first canter since he’s been back home!! This was one of the first days that I didn’t feel rushed with Zen trying to squeeze time in with him between other commitments, and what a difference! I’ve also been riding a lot of green horses lately who need me to be their security and confidence, and for the first time since he’s been home, I was really able to translate that to Zen.

We lunged in the upper outdoor arena that doesn’t have any fences (if you all remember my post about my first session with Zen at home, it went a lot worse 😅), and our communication was so good. Then, when we went inside to ride (I’m still not quite at the point that I want to ride him again with no fences), there were a lot of new obstacles like needing to open the big sliding door and riding past dusk. He was a bit jumpy at first, but then he gave me the most incredible trot that let me know we were ready to canter.

It felt amazing!! I’m not planning to canter every ride since in my excitement I admittedly rode worse after we cantered 😅 But it’s a huge relief to get that first canter at home without a hitch!!

01/15/2023

12/29/2022

Zen had such a great day today!! There was a lot going on that could have “ruined” the day—there was a lot of activity, machinery, etc, and one thing that Zen still responds to is sound behind him. And why shouldn’t he? Being vigilant helped him survive in the wild for nearly 6 years. It doesn’t bother me if Zen’s attention leaves me (even in this pictures, his ear are tilted toward the noises outside of the arena); I am a lot more attune to how he does—or doesn’t—come back.

For example, when I was trying to mount, his attention was locked on the gate in the left of this picture. He was standing, so I COULD have mounted, but it surely didn’t seem like a good idea. Instead, I walked him a lap to get his neck loose, and he stood for mounting nicely in tune with me! That set us up for a fantastic ride.

Today was our first intentional trot since he came home, and he was an absolute rockstar on right rein! On left, we got a bit more scattered, and I needed to keep myself from bracing as he picked up speed, and instead just continued to ride the trot and try to get my seat in tune with his back. It didn’t take long us to get back in sync!

Our walk is sooo good; Zen’s ready to stretch and engage as soon as I’m up there! And truly, for the first day of trot, this really wasn’t bad. He had some incredible moments in both directions! Our halts are also so much better, and Zen “tells” on me a lot—the moment I lose my rhythm, he slows down! As frustrating as it may seem at first, this is such a valuable quality for a horse to have! Not only does it make them very safe, but since Zen is more than happy to go forward as long as I’m in rhythm, it helps me become a better rider, too.

I’m hoping to ride most days for the next week or so, and I absolutely cannot wait to make more progress! 🥳

12/25/2022

Happy Holidays from Zen! Throwback from last year to when he realized that rolling in snow maybe not the best idea 🤣 (And yes, he is somewhat lame in this video since he was recovering from an abscess at the time 🥺)

Poor weather derailed any riding plans last week, but his groundwork was so amazing that I remembered to bring my Pivo home to charge so you all can start to see what he’s looking like these days.

Yesterday, he and some of the other geldings in the field had a bit of a squabble, which never bothers me unless a horse in the mix has hind shoes, which none of these guys did 🙂 I was struck by just how STRONG and powerful Zen looked as he postured at the other horses—and he’s one of the littlest guys out there 😆 As long as the horses have enough space to escape and plenty of food and water so they don’t have to fight for resources, horses having disagreements is okay (especially geldings, when even play-fighting can look pretty serious to us humans!). None of the horses in Zen’s field are scarred up, underweight, or show anxiety that would make me concerned. All of the conflicts I’ve seen are extremely brief!

In a way, I love seeing Zen show his strength and agility. He’s so darn FAST! And I think it catches some of the bigger domestics off-guard 😳 I’m so in awe of him and how confident he’s feeling in his powerful little body. It took several long months for him to learn to let enough of that go for him to be safe and comfortable to ride, so it’s just really cool for me to pull him out of the pasture on any given day and he the transformation to being soft and relaxed when it’s time to do groundwork or ride.

For the time being, everything he does with me is with the goal of relaxation, and he can save the theatrics for the field! Once relaxation with me becomes his default, we can start adding some of the power back into his movements 💪🏾 But! Relaxation IS powerful! A relaxed and rhythmic horse who’s not compensating is actually very, very strong! I know it sounds like I’m contradicting myself, but all I mean to say is that, like the training period, a horse needs rhythm, straightness, and relaxation before collection.

Right now, I’m still figuring out how to ride Zen, but it’s already going far better than it started! I can’t wait to see how we’re doing in another few months 🤩

12/24/2022

Zen made it through the wacky winter storm okay! I have to admit that I was pretty worried about him, especially on Thursday/yesterday when it was pouring rain and WINDY!! I saw him on Thursday and we did a groundwork session in the indoor to get some reprieve from the rain, then I came back today when it was a toasty real feel of -1F 🤣 I brought him some warm mash, and that was about it! He has mudsicles on his tail, fetlocks, and pasterns that I’ll work on over the next few days, but the very bottom of his tail may just get the big snip if it’s long enough that it gets soaked in mud on rainy days 😬

Given the climate and the fact that Zen is healthy enough to be naked in most conditions, I leave Zen’s mane and tail out year-round—for warmth in the winter and fly protection in the summer. That means he won’t have the most luxurious hair, but I hope his scruffy body helps keep him comfortable!

I hope everyone has a safe and gentle holiday season! 🥰

12/19/2022

My “Photos” app makes cute little videos, so here’s a throwback from warm July weather during my first Zen visit! Hard to think there were days I went out to the barn in a t-shirt after the brisk winds we’ve had recently 🥶

I brought Zen in for a meal (I give him ration balanced and supplements whenever I’m there) and quick groom today, and he was quite a ham for some admirers 🥰 He was enjoying the hay they put out in the field for the cooler weather! I’m looking forward to riding again later this week!

12/14/2022

Happy National Day of the Horse to the best little Mustang a person could ask for! Today was truly a happy tears kind of day from beginning to end. I was so impressed with Zen… and myself.

Sunday was a bit of an interesting day. He crossed the pasture with me at liberty then got a little squirrely when I went to put his cavesson on. Cavessons need tighter nose bands than regular halters since it’s important for the cavesson not to slip on their face, and I overlooked loosening the noseband before removing/putting on the cavesson, and I think Zen got tired of his nose getting squished and gave me a quiet, but firm “no thank you” by taking a few steps away from me, which has never happened before when I’ve gone to catch him! I was spinning my wheels a little before finally loosening the noseband, which did the trick, and everything was fine after that, but I was still worried that the Mustang who always “caught me” so to speak would suddenly become hard to catch.

Then, yesterday, the barn staff caught him for his vaccines, and he was great! But part of me was still worried that after being a little anxious on Sunday and getting shots yesterday, he wouldn’t want to be caught today, but that was not at all the case! With the loosened noseband, Zen was more than happy to be caught, and we did groundwork on the way in from the field since I knew I wanted to ride. He was so relaxed and loose that I was already excited before even leaving the pasture!

I brought him into the indoor arena for the first time since riding in an unfenced/partially fenced arena (which both outdoors are) doesn’t set us up for success at this point in our training. Despite never being inside, he lunged beautifully with a great, forward walk right from the get-go (using our walk in from the field as a warm-up really helped!) and the most GORGEOUS trot! By the time I finished lunging, I only had 20 minutes before I needed to start getting ready to leave the barn (I only lunged him for five minutes, but trekking through the big pasture to get Zen takes up a good chunk of our time haha). I generally don’t do well under time pressure, so I strongly considered not riding. But given how well Zen lunged, I figured it may be worth a try just to at least sit on him and maybe try a few steps of walk.

Well, I went to mount, and Zen offered another “no thank you”. He moved away from the block a few times, and this is where I was proud of myself! I just stayed patient, took a deep breath, moved the block back over to him, and tried again. I knew our Thursday ride wasn’t great, and my anxiety probably wasn’t helping Zen relax. But I didn’t escalate, and after a few attempts, Zen stood quietly for mounting, and we walked off with better relaxation than we had after 10-15 minutes on Thursday! I was more confident being fenced in, and that confidence helped me ride Zen so much more effectively. At some point, he even spooked at the wall-length mirrors and trotted off quite briskly, and instead of pulling back reactively, I just settled into his trot until he was ready to walk on his own—my second super proud moment of the night! Then, the next time around, he didn’t spook! My third proud moment—on Thursday, we had no brakes. When I tried to stop Zen, he just turned (I get grabby with my left hand when I‘m stressed, so that one’s on me!), and eventually, he’d fall to a stop on his on. This time, I felt Zen start to brace and continued gently pulsing my left and right fist until he settled into a quiet halt—and a square one, as I found out when I dismounted!

Today helped me realize that I need to trust Zen a little bit more. Between working with Hannah and Amy, he has such a strong foundation, so as long as I don’t panic, he’ll come back to me. I‘m actually kind of glad that he spooked because it showed me that we can recalibrate even when things go wrong! I try to keep Amy’s voice in my head the whole ride, and it helped feeling like I had a teacher even if I was technically alone in the arena. I couldn’t be more proud of Zen and thankful to my mentors!

12/12/2022

This will never get old 🥺😭 Zen’s been back for a week now, and I’m STILL pinching myself!! Today was just a good groom. His mane and tail grew out beautifully during training, and I just love brushing it with Espana Silk Grooming Products!! The detangler doesn’t harm the hair, and it was easy to brush through despite rain, mud, and not brushing it since Thursday! I considered braiding Zen’s mane, but since he lives out 24/7 without a blanket, I want him to have all the protection he can get from rain and cold, especially as the temperatures continue to drop!

12/09/2022

Zen absolutely melted my heart today… It’s his 5th day in his 40-acre pasture, and he came right up to me 🥺😭 I can’t believe he was a wild stallion on the Nevada range just 2 years ago. He’s just the sweetest, most personable guy!

I rode Zen for the first time since he got back from training, and while we had some bobbles, things overall went well! I was proud of myself that I didn’t get too frustrated or nervous even if he did, and we ended better than we started! I have to remember that it’s only his 5th day at the new place and his 2nd day down at the arena. I’ve been working with a few students and their new horses in this past year, and that’s helped me a lot in realizing how much of a massive shift it is when horses change living situations, so I’ll keep chipping away at Zen’s riding, but I’m also giving him plenty of time and grace to adjust!

12/05/2022

I have to pinch myself... after nearly 8 months, Zen is HOME! It's funny, these past few weeks have been so busy that I've hardly had time to think about what it would feel like to have Zen home again, and after the trailer pulled away and I was holding Zen's lead, I had the funniest thought: "What do I DO?" Of course, that was fleeting--I know what to do! However, so much has happened since Zen first went to training. My dog was alive and well. I'd gone 2+ years without getting COVID. I still had my old car. Those three things, and many others, have all changed. Just two weeks after Zen went to training, my dog succumbed to sudden, acute aspiration pneumonia. I got COVID. My car was totaled when I was rear-ended in my first car accident. Zen coming back really does feel like a new chapter.

I'm planning our time together week by week. The plan is flexible, but I need it there to hold myself accountable to everything Zen is capable of. But today, we just explored the property, and I introduced Zen to his new field at liberty. He followed me until he felt ready to go off on his own, then I watched him disappear across 40 acres of rolling hills! It feels amazing to be able to give a little bit of the "wild" back to Zen while he's otherwise ridden and cared for like a domestic horse 🥰

11/24/2022

Check out this handsome, relaxed boy! It's been just amazing learning how to ride Zen these past few days. Day 1 was riding on the lunge, and when I went off-line for Day 2, I felt like I had no idea how to ride! Amy Skinner Horsemanship was patient and thorough in her understanding, and the difference between that ride and the ride today was night and day! There is a lot of hard work ahead to continue developing Zen, but I'm looking forward to every minute of it.

The fact that our sessions this week weren't perfect is... well... perfect! I got to learn how to troubleshoot when things weren't going quite right, and working through problems made me all the more confident! I got to ride Zen walk, trot, and canter both reins, with both leads! Even with his "sticky" lead, Amy showed me how setting him up with a rhythmic, balanced, forward trot was all I needed to get the right lead canter without any bobbles!

I'm counting down the days until Zen's home--only a little over a week now! 🥰 Photo credits to Kieran!

11/22/2022

After 4.5 months without seeing him in-person, I finally got to visit Zen again—this time accompanied by Kieran! Amy gave both us of lessons with Zen, so I got some screenshots of Kieran’s ride.

Zen is doing so, so well and feels AMAZING! After some initial delays on my end following my car accident, Zen is due to come home in just a couple of weeks, and I absolutely cannot wait to have him 🤩

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you to Amy Skinner Horsemanship for taking such great care of my boy and teaching him all of the wonderful new things he’s learned over the past 7 months 🥰

11/08/2022

These guidelines are so important to consider when selecting a trainer for your horse! I wasn’t looking to send Zen to training when I came across Amy—however, her worked ticked all of the boxes. I’m so impressed by her program. The horses all look incredible, and when I went to visit Zen for the first time, he FELT incredible, so I can’t imagine how good he’ll feel when I see him again in two short weeks!

Most importantly, Zen was still HIMSELF—he maintained his sweet, goofy personality. I wanted a trainer who could help change how Zen felt without changing WHO Zen was, and it’s just been a remarkable journey going through this process.

This experience has forever changed how I think about training and horsemanship for the better, and I couldn’t be more grateful! I’ll be counting down the days for the next two weeks!! 🤩

Critical thinking for learning horsemanship:

With todays amount of information easily available, it can be both exciting and overwhelming. We are bombarded with all kinds of systems, philosophies, ideas, and- they all seem to contradict each other.

My hope is never to tell anyone what to do, but to encourage them to think. There are many really good programs out there, and there are some that simply don’t work well for the horse. Some are rude, aggressive and disregard the horse. But more insidious, some look and sound nice up front but leave the horse more frustrated, crooked, and ill prepared for the world.

The path you take depends largely on who you are, what your aim is with the horse, and most importantly, what your horse says about it.

Here are some things to consider as you go through your learning- as I’ve been learning myself, I’ve backtracked many times when I ran into one of these speed bumps, and now these are my non negotiable markers for good training

1- the horse is becoming calmer and more emotionally balanced.
This doesn’t mean they are calm every second or can never have a tough moment, but in the overall scheme of things, they are more relaxed, happier, and calm in general.

2-the horse is becoming more sound.
A good training program takes mind and body together into account, and doesn’t ask the body to do things it wasn’t designed for to learn. If you find your horse becoming less sound over time, assuming an exterior injury, genetic issue or trauma hasn’t occurred, it may be wise to look at the daily movement that is being encouraged.

3- the horse is becoming safer to handle
Here’s a not so black and white area, in that this assumes those handling the horse are not doing things to create dangerous behavior, such as over driving, confining to do something the horse isn’t prepared for, etc. But, overall, good training leads to a horse that is quiet to handle and happy doing it- one that can lead, tie, load, get trims, dentals, etc without too much fuss- the timeline is the horse’s, but good training leads steadily forward to these goals

4- my favorite and most important guideline for good training: the horse is becoming more beautiful and looks serene
Good movement and handling makes a horse literally shine. Their bodies develop good muscling that makes them look taller and more majestic, their coats gleam, and their expression is peaceful. This to me is non negotiable - all good training leads to this.

11/05/2022