09/22/2025
Horses are soooo good for sooo much of what humans need in their lives!
In an age where most middle schoolers live glued to their screens, 13-year-old Harlow Bottarini stands out for what she doesn’t have—a phone. While nearly everyone in her class scrolls through apps and guards their Snapchat streaks, Harlow spends her free time in the barn, grooming her pony, playing games with friends, and inventing new ways to stay creative.
Her family’s decision to hold off on giving her a phone has shaped not only her childhood, but also her horsemanship. And in a sport where patience, focus, and connection matter more than ever, it’s proving to be an unexpected advantage.
“I don’t have a phone,” Harlow explained. “So many people are like, ‘No, don’t take my phone away, I don’t want to ruin my streak!’ And I’m over here going… what’s a streak?”
Her mom noted that the choice came after seeing the impact phones had on her older teenage sons. “With Harlow, we wanted something different,” she said. “She’s super creative, and I didn’t want that stifled by a screen.”
Without the distraction of a phone, Harlow invests her energy into creative projects and caring for her ponies. She grooms, hand grazes, and handles much of the day-to-day bonding herself. “During summers, everyone else would be on their phones, and I’d be the only one grooming my pony and out on the grass,” she said.
Those moments, seemingly small, are what deepen the bond between horse and rider. Harlow believes that connection is a foundation for success: “The three special skills are bond, love, and trust. You’ve got to have patience too. That’s what helps your partner learn to trust you.”
The absence of a phone hasn’t left a void. It’s opened space for creativity. Harlow is a singer, dancer, and actress, balancing rehearsals with early morning rides. She even sings to her ponies, using rhythm and melody to stay relaxed and in tune with her mounts. “Music and riding both come down to rhythm,” her mom said. “She’ll hum a ballad in her head, and it helps her keep pace.”
Beyond performance, she plays barn games with friends, pretends to “jump lines” with broomsticks, and finds imaginative ways to practice skills even outside the saddle. The freedom to play without being tethered to a phone keeps her mind flexible and her outlook positive.
For Harlow’s family, the decision is about more than resisting technology. It’s about building habits that translate to resilience. “The phone takes kids out of the moment,” her mom said. “By not having one, Harlow’s able to stay present with her pony, present with her friends, and present with herself.”
It’s a perspective that echoes through her riding. By staying engaged in the barn, she’s developed the patience to bring along green ponies, the focus to handle tough moments in the show ring, and the creativity to solve problems with a smile.
In equestrian sport, where connection and presence are essential, Harlow’s no-phone lifestyle is less a limitation and more a strength. By choosing grooming over scrolling and songs over streaks, she’s building the qualities every rider needs: patience, creativity, and real connection.
It’s a reminder that sometimes, the best signal you can get isn’t from a phone. It’s from the bond you build with your horse.
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