09/13/2024
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Life is HARD! Ranching is REALLY HARD at times- the feeling of not having enough hay is awful!
āHeart breaking ā
His cattle didnāt get a bid, they were fairly bloody poor,
What was he going to do? He couldnāt feed them anymore,
The dams were all but dry, hay was thirteen bucks a bale,
Last monthās talk of rain was just a fairytale,
His credit had run out, no chance to pay whatās owed,
Bad thoughts ran through his head as he drove down Gully Road.
āGeez, great grandad bought the place back in 1898,
āNow Iām such a useless bastard, Iāll have to shut the gate.
āCanāt support my wife and kids, not like dad and those before,
āCrikey, Grandma kept it going while Pop fought in the war.ā
With depression now his master, he abandoned what was right,
Thereās no place in life for failures, heād end it all tonight.
There were still some things to do, heād have to shoot the cattle first,
Of all the jobs heād ever done, that would be the worst.
Heād have a shower, watch the news, then theyād all sit down for tea
Read his kids a bedtime story, watch some more TV,
Kiss his wife goodnight, say he was off to shoot some roos
Then in a paddock far away heād blow away the blues.
But he drove in the gate and stopped ā as he always had
To check the roadside mailbox ā and found a letter from his Dad.
Now his dad was not a writer, Mum did all the cards and mail
But he knew the writing from the notebooks that heād kept from cattle sales,
He sensed the nature of its contents, felt moisture in his eyes,
Just the fact his dad had written was enough to make him cry.
āSon, I know itās bloody tough, itās a cruel and twisted game,
āThis life upon the land when youāre screaming out for rain,
āThereās no candle in the darkness, not a single speck of light
āBut donāt let the demon get you, you have to do whatās right,
āI donāt know whatās in your head but push the bad thoughts well away
āSee, youāll always have your family at the back end of the day
āYou have to talk to someone, and yes I know I rarely did
āBut you have to think about Fiona and think about the kids.
āIām worried about you son, you havenāt rung for quite a while,
āI know the road youāre on ācause Iāve walked every bloody mile.
āThe date? December 7 back in 1983,
āBehind the shed I had the shotgun rested in the brigalow tree.
āSee, Iād borrowed way too much to buy the Johnson place
āThen it didnāt rain for years and we got bombed by interest rates,
āThe bank was at the door, I didnāt think I had a choice,
āI began to squeeze the trigger ā thatās when I heard your voice.
āYou said āWhere are you Daddy? Itās time to play our gameā
āā Iāve got Squatter all set up, we might get General Rain.ā
āIt really was that close, youāre the one that stopped me son,
āAnd youāre the one that taught me thereās no answer in a gun.
āJust remember people love you, good friends wonāt let you down.
āLook, you might have to swallow pride and take that job in town,
āJust ātil things come good, son, youāve always got a choice
āAnd when you get this letter ring me, ācause Iād love to hear your voice.ā
Well he cried and laughed and shook his head then put the truck in gear,
Shut his eyes and hugged his dad in a vision that was clear,
Dropped the cattle at the yards, put the truck away
Filled the troughs the best he could and fed his last ten bales of hay.
Then he strode towards the homestead, shoulders back and head held high,
He still knew the road was tough but there was purpose in his eye.
He called his wife and children, whoād lived through all his pain,
Hugs said more than words ā heād come back to them again,
They talked of silver linings, how good times always follow bad,
Then he walked towards the phone, picked it up and rang his Dad.
And while the kids set up the Squatter, he hugged his wife again,
Then they heard the roll of thunder and they smelt the smell of rain.
Author : Murray Hartin
Donāt be afraid to reach out for help.
A lot of us have.
Contact a reputable service, your hospital or local GP.
Come to a 4BP clinic but just donāt give up
Watch the links, stay strong
https://www.facebook.com/356360681799254/posts/439153973519924?s=100000925421648&sfns=mo
https://www.facebook.com/BelarabonStation/videos/491751997998638/
https://www.facebook.com/BelarabonStation/videos/1256668647784640/
https://www.4bphorses.com/