10/20/2025
In the wake of letting Annie go, I have been a mess of emotions. Her life, her journey, her time with us, and her passing fill me with such an array of feelings, it's been difficult for me to process it all. A good amount of the past few days I have just been numb because it's too much and I can't even begin to let myself get into it.
I know with time comes healing and in time I'll feel ready to face it all, but just not right now.
For now, I've been thinking about the things I am grateful for, even when they are so incredibly heavy. Annie wasn't with us for long, but she had everyone routing for her. I have been floored and brought to tears by the number of people who have reached out because they had been so touched by her story. The compassion you all shared for her reminds me why I do this, because I am not the only one who wants to fight to give these horses the life that they deserve. That I am not the only one willing to give these sweet old horses all the love in the world in their last moments. I am thankful for everyone's kindness and I want you to know that I am grieving her loss too. I am grateful to have a network and community of like minded people. Of people who understand the value of these horses lives and can see the deep emotional complexity of them, not just seeing them as an animal to work for us.
I'm grateful that our herd has such strong connections with each other and that they are able to support each other through this loss. While we didn't have Annie long, she had become a beloved friend. The silence after her loss has been profound. The heaviest silence had been the moments after Indy cried out looking for her. While they're slowly coming back to themselves and their usual interactions, it's clear they are still processing the loss themselves. I'm grateful Xena, who had become such a sweet friend for Annie, has the compassion and strength that she does. Watching her comfort Indy has been both a wonderful and heavy experience.
It will take time for all of us to recover from letting Annie go. But the amount of love in this barn, between the horses, from the volunteers, from myself, from our supporters and community is proving strong enough to hold us through this hard time.