“Why does my dog always show off for you?”
Your dog trainer isn’t a wizard. They just hold your dog to the highest standard they are capable of. That standard will wiggle from dog to dog, but all dogs are opportunists and will live to the standard we hold them too.
Rigatoni here happens to be one of the gentlest, easiest going dogs I’ve ever met,(next to maybe our own Griffin) so it’s very easy to let him coast.
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Growth is hard, but rehoming should be harder.
Draco is an incredible dog with typical puppy issues. Literally the most minor things to work at.
Before we adopted him, his prior family sent him to a board and train and told the trainer “no e-collar”. They sent him back a second time but when he got mouthy and growled from the crate, they brought him back to the pound with a love note.
Here is Draco in our back yard playing fetch with an e-collar. He is happy, he is eager to play, and he won’t chase a fisher cat if it shows up in my yard or book towards the neighbors yard if their dog runs into our shared woods. He is certainly not shut down while wearing the collar.
The truth of the matter is that he needed leadership. As my other videos show, my 3 year old can command him. Is rehoming a dog easier than taking a critical look at how you interact with your dog? Is your relationship with your dog about how they make you feel or about how you make them feel? People call themselves pet parents but act like fun aunts and uncles. The difference is providing a calm safe space for our dogs to owe us nothing. They are not our therapists, bar tender, or cheerleader.. as a parent, I know we would never ask that of our children. Self awareness might be the most challenging part of becoming who your dog needs you to be. Dog training is about way more than the dog.
“Discipline equals freedom” -Jocko Willink. This story is from Sailor’s owner and her mother who signed up for dog training when he was a puppy and have shared every step of their story since. From the silly criticisms and comments they have laughed about with me to every video of him doing everything from making March madness picks, to painting pictures, to dressing up for Halloween. It has been one of my greatest honors to see Sailor along his training journey 💙. There is a time and place for most behaviors. Teaching our dogs where and when is a huge part of raising dogs people want to be around. With discipline and structure, dogs get to go into situations confident that they will be able to lean on your feedback to meet expectations for each circumstance. They also will be able to earn more trust and freedom over time as they prove their ability to make great decisions or at minimum are willing override bad decisions when you give them safer ones.
While Draco came out of the pound having already completed a board and train with his prior family, the reason that they gave him up was their inability to achieve the control that my toddler has in this video. Like many of my clients will tell you, I am coaching the humans, not the dogs.
Draco is the newest member of our pack and he will help our daughters build confidence speaking with authority, setting boundaries, and holding expectations. Believe it or not, those are the very skills so many adults are still working on and didn’t realize it was a problem until they got a dog. Dogs can be great catalysts for personal development if we are open to it.
As a parent, things rarely go as expected. Crates will be opened by a “helpful” toddler, doors will be left open as you migrate outside, crayons might miss the paper… 🫣
Dogs, like toddlers, struggle to regulate through transitions, like leaving the crate, the house, family returning home, company coming over, etc…
There is a tendency to want to coach our dogs through every moment but at our busiest moments during transition, it’s tough to always be everything to everyone. Teaching our dogs that the command is not needed for a default expectation is a helpful way to make transitions go smoothly. If my dog is disregulated about leaving the crate and my toddler opens it, it’s not just a chaotic dog running around my house but now also a screaming toddler who was trampled. When a door is left open and a dog thinks it’s an open invitation to run outside, now I’m rounding up a loose dog while trying to keep track of my kids. When a toddler wants to give an apple slice to a dog, is that dog emotionally regulated enough to take it gently?
In that light there certain expectations I place on my dog that do not require commands because there are no exceptions to the process and it needs to be replicable through most every circumstance. The prompts for my pack are a door opening, food being held, someone approaching the crate, the door bell, stopping during a structured walk.
What are some of the default behaviors you are working on with your dog where you don’t add a command but expect a consistent behavior in response to a visual prompt?
A lot of people want this relationship with their dog. A lot of dogs have no interest in this relationship or could view this type of attention as a resource to compete over or get protective of. Our hound, Genna, would trade this moment a million times over for 3 minutes of chasing sand pipers on the beach. It’s unfair to set your relationship expectations for your dog by comparing them to your last dog, your friends dog, or your neighbors dog. Don’t burden your dog with the parts of the relationship you want from them that they wouldn’t enjoy. Griffin is less mobile these days, but Genna loves to go hiking(as do I). I will share those moments on the mountain with Genna and watch her pounce up rocks and chase chipmunks and love her for her grace and agility. There are parts of our lives that we get to share with our dogs which are truly special because everyone involved is enjoying it. A lot of poor behavior comes from dogs being forced into doing things they hate, or invited to do things that set them back behaviorally because of the owners expectations. Love and respect your dog for who they are.
Happy Training 😊
