Horse Ways LLC

22/10/2025

Thank you for phrasing it this way. It is very well said.

“He looks scared,” the client mumbles. (This example is a continuation from a previous post on the big bay gelding)

After helping the client regulate their body, a team member asks, “Besides him being so still, what do you see that tells you he is scared?”

The client studies the bay, “ His eyes look like doll eyes.”

“How do you mean?”

“His eyes don’t look alive.”

“Yeah, I see that. Did you notice anything else?”

The client shakes their head no.

After a minute, a team member asks, “What do you know about the survival response?”

“Like fight or flight?”

“Exactly! There is another part that our bodies do when it assess that fighting or running isn’t an option. Do you know about it?”

Client shakes head no.

“This option slows our blood flow, floods our body with analgesic, and shifts awareness. It is called shutdown or collapse.”

“Like zone out.”

“Yes, but more deeply.” After a minute or so, a team member asks, “What do you think scared him?”

“I really don't know.”

Team member, “His reaction was rather huge for just saying hi.”

The client nods their head.

“Team member, “If he didn't want to be greeted that way, he could have told you by moving his head away, walking away, or tightening up some muscles. But instead, he disappeared. Such an interesting response. Do you have any ideas why he might have responded that way for such a tiny thing?”

“Maybe he’s been hurt before.”

Team member nods, “That’s possible, or maybe in the past he wasn't allowed to voice his opinion, so now he disappears. Can you think of any other ideas?”

Client shakes his head no.

“When you reached out to touch him, did you know he would disappear?”

“I had no idea.”

“That isn't something that happens every day. When you noticed his response, emotion welled up in you.”

“Yeah, I know what it feels like to be that scared.”

At any point was your brain attacking you, telling you it was your fault?”

“A little, but mostly I felt sad that he was so scared.

“I want to talk about what he needs, but first I want to explore something. A lot of folks’ brains tell them. ‘I did something wrong.’ Did that happen to you? Did you feel that you did something wrong?”

“I scared him.”

“I can see how you came to that conclusion, but I want to explore that assumption. Let’s pretend that someone rigged a bomb to a door, and I didn't know, and when I opened the door, the bomb went off. Did I cause that to happen?”

“You opened the door, so yeah.”

Let’s unpack this for a moment. Did I build the bomb?”

“No.”

“Did I hook the bomb to the door?”

“No.”

“When I opened the door, I activated the trigger, and the bomb exploded. I did not cause it, as in make it happen. I activated the response that someone else caused to happen.”

“So, I activated the scared response?”

“Yes. All you did was greet him with touch. Someone else had set up that response.”

“That’s sad.”

“Yes, and you can help him because you noticed his response. You can help him learn that he does not have to disappear with you. He can tell you what he wants and doesn't want.”

This moment provides many opportunities. Some of those are:

🌎Understand how the client sees the world

📣Explore the quality of their self-talk

🧠Teach about the nervous system and the survival response

🚶Understand how their body responded to the situation

💥Address cognitive distortions

💕Co-regulate and help the client practice soothing their body

♥️Develop empathy

✨Understand what you are responsible for and what someone else is responsible for

In this example, we did not delve into the instances when the client felt so afraid. We could do it, if it were part of the client’s goals and right for where they were in the therapeutic process. Instead, we focused on understanding what happened and what contributed to their tearful response. We unpacked the client‘s assumptions and helped them understand the difference between causation and activation. Then, we shifted to how the client’s awareness could help the horse with his fear.

Like any example, deciding to address one thing over another can have billions of different results.

21/10/2025

Yes! Respecting the no is very important, but so is doing hard things. It's important to hear the no and give space, then gently work on building the skills to build the confidence to try and do hard things.

“The horse will trust you more if you listen to their no”

Maybe - with some context.

Listen to their no? Yes. But always backing off gets you easily trapped with an un confident horse who doesn’t have much try in their vocabulary. That is, to me, a cruel thing to do to something in our care.

My kids say no all the time. No I don’t want to get dressed. No I don’t want to eat that. If I only listened to their no’s, our world would be very small.

My daughter especially has a certain set of challenges in life - fabrics and sounds and all kinds of things are very hard for her. There are some no’s I truly respect. She can’t help the way she feels and it would be cruel of me to force her into clothes that feel like torture. But for a long time she wouldn’t wear clothes at all. During a harsh winter this is not a safe option.

So I hear the no - I understand it - and then I go to skill building. What skills are we missing to wear SOME clothes?

A horse who only says no will not get in the trailer when it really comes time to. They will not accept veterinary care when it is life saving.

Some no’s don’t matter - I like a bosal over a bit - sure. But I won’t get caught? That one can be deadly.

If we back off for every no, we need to consider the long term ramifications. What are we really teaching here?

It’s easy and gives immediate gratification to let the horse walk away. But what if there is an emergency?

It’s our job to build skills. To develop trust. To support and honor the horse. And sometimes life comes at us unexpectedly and we need to say to the horse, I know you don’t understand this but I need you to try anyway because it’s important (say an evacuation).
The horse needs to trust that you will get them through it, and that only comes through experiences where you have gotten them through it.

So hear the no, sure. But go deeper. WHY are you getting no? Have you developed a habit of no? Is a skill set missing? Are you asking in a way that doesn’t suit? What do you need to get to a yes? That’s the more important question.

Six years of no’s from my daughter have lead me to learn to build confidence through skill building, support, and now she has more desire to try hard things. We have a lot more yes’s, and her world is bigger than ever - and she is much happier for it.

20/10/2025

Thank you for sharing!

🐴 The Groundwork Gap: Or How Being Brilliant in the Saddle Isn't Enough

There’s a certain irony with equestrians: the better people get at one thing, the more allergic they become to feeling like beginners again.

A talented young event rider once brought me her young Clydie cross - anxious, unpredictable, and prone to bolting. The vets had cleared him, the tack was fitted, but something didn’t add up.

So I stripped everything off and turned him loose in the round yard. Within two laps, a problem revealed itself - he couldn’t canter a balanced circle to save himself. He’d rush and get discombobulated. I told her, “You’re asking him to gallop cross-country and jump stuff when he can’t even stay upright on a circle. He’s not naughty—he’s freaked out he’ll fall over.”

The logic landed. Until she said, “I don’t do groundwork.”

Ah yes—the phrase that has quietly ended more riding careers than kids and financial resources combined.🥺

It made her feel clumsy, awkward, uncoordinated - a beginner again. She would apologise profusely as I coached her. Apologising because she wasn’t learning fast enough… and then apologising for apologising when I told her to please stop apologising 😕.

She stopped after two sessions - apologising she was just hopeless at groundwork - and went back to riding through it. A few weeks later, she fell off and broke her ribs. That was over ten years ago, and her name hasn’t appeared on an eventing start list since.

It’s sad - not because she didn’t try, but because she felt so much shame at the discomfort of learning something new. That awkward, messy stage that’s actually normal.

Versatility isn’t optional; it’s what separates capability from calamity. You can be brilliant in the saddle, but if you can’t help your horse from the ground, you’re only half a horse person.

Versatility makes you adaptable to the horse's needs.

So be versatile. Be curious. Embrace the messy. Fight those shame demons in your head 💪—for the sake of both you and your horse. ❤️

Collectable Advice Entry 57/365 to hit SAVE, SHARE...and no copying and pasting!

18/10/2025

Beautiful day for a ride!

08/10/2025

Very well said.

the punitive leg -

a horse is not born understanding a leg aid. Anyone who's ridden green or young horses can attest to some actually balking, slowing down or even backing up from the leg. It is a concept that has to be taught to the horse.

We teach the horse how to go forward when we are up on their backs with assistance from the leg. There are, of course many types of leg aids to give, and each discipline has different leg aids to teach. Even between people within the same discipline, there will be variations of how a leg aid is applied and how a horse is expected to respond to it.

Within most of these is some degree of incongruence between weight aids/sensory input to the horse and leg. In other words, we are giving one input with our weight and body and another with the leg - the horse can figure this discrepancy out through repetition and release or reward, but ideally the weight and leg are saying the same thing.

Ideally, when we use the leg, we don't block the hip or push the horse in the opposite direction we are requesting, and so on. A centered seat teaches the horse the leg is an extension of the seat - this is the best case scenario for a horse.

There are all kinds of bad legs to have as a rider: scrunchy, shovy, pinchy, squeezy, and so on. But the WORST leg there is to have is a punitive leg. This leg tells the horse the opposite of what the rider thinks they are telling the horse in every way, from emotional to physical -

The punitive leg is when the rider is frustrated with the horse's lack of response or motion and becomes a weapon. This is when the leg cracks, bangs, jerks, or attacks the horses side quickly, abruptly, and with force. I have heard riders be encouraged to "crack a rib" or "kick a fart out of one" before, encouraging riders to ride emotionally, punitively, and out of emotional and physical balance.

What does this teach the horse? Not going, that's for sure. Riders with these kinds of legs will find themselves perpetually threatening with their legs, and on horses who suck back frequently, catapult themselves forward after being attacked by the leg, and suck back again. You will not find freely forward with the punitive leg.

It teaches the horse:

-to protect their sides from random, impending onslaught of aids. To contract these muscles, tightening their backs, shoulders, and limiting breathing. If you've had someone punch you in the stomach, you get the idea - you can't have good range of motion like this, so it does not produce true forward, but it can get you a squirt forward temporarily.

-that the rider is emotionally driven, with untrustworthy aids.

-that the rider is tight and unmoving in their seat, with random and intense aids. The rider is behind the horse's movement and thinking in only noticing until it gets this far behind the leg, and does not follow forward motion when produced - therefore creating a sure bet at the horse sucking back soon enough in the future.

-to respond to the only greatest threat, and wait for that. It does not teach the horse lightness, or finding the rider's center or subtle aids - instead it teaches the horse, due to a cacophany of uncentered and unpredictable aids from the rider, to find the greatest threat to their safety and respond very quickly to that. It doesn't make the horse more sensitive because they miss or are unable to feel the other more important aids due to being in a state of self protection - they cue in more to the greatest threat, and less to the other aids.

If you find yourself on a not so forward horse, the most important thing to learn here is:

1- emotional control. It brings out frustrations, that is for certain. Every rider experiences these, but a good coach should be guiding a rider to empathy, self regulation and discipline, and developing skill sets - not attacking the horse with aids.

2- developing a steady rhythm and opening the body. A sticky horse is very closed. You open the horse through rhytmic movement, a following seat and open hip, and movements or figures that open the shoulders, back, and bring the hind legs through. A sticky horse is stuck on the front legs - we need the hind legs to generate power and take the hand brake off the front legs.

3- Learning to use the leg in good timing (not random timing) in coordination with the seat. The seat says forward, the hand opens the way, and the leg supports without blocking the hip.

A not forward horse is hard to do much with - but the rider carries a responsibility to check themselves before they wreck themselves, as I often lovingly say ;) It's the rider's job to educate themselves so they can educate the horse, and help the horse become forward, melting into the rider's aids through understanding.

Photo by Jessie Cardew of me doing the stanky leg

07/10/2025

❄🐴🌾 Is it safe to graze horses after a hard freeze? What do I need to consider before turning them back out on pasture? Also, what defines a hard freeze?

🌡 A hard freeze refers to a frost that is severe enough to end the growing season. The National Weather Service defines a hard freeze when temperatures fall below 28ºF for a few hours. Cool-season grasses commonly found in Midwest horse pastures go into dormancy for winter and conserve their energy stores (starches and sugars) following a hard freeze.

❄️ We recommend keeping horses off pastures for at least 7 days after a hard freeze. Frost-damaged pastures are higher in nonstructural carbohydrates (starches and sugars) because plants can not use up their energy stores as efficiently. It can take plants 7 days to return to more normal nonstructural carbohydrate levels. Higher levels of nonstructural carbohydrates can lead to an increase risk for laminitis, especially in horses diagnosed with or prone to obesity, laminitis, Cushings, and Equine Metabolic Syndrome.

The decision to graze again after a hard freeze depends on the condition of your pasture. After a hard freeze, no additional regrowth of the pasture will occur, even though the pasture might appear green in color. If your cool-season grass pasture is

✅ taller than 3 to 4 inches, then grazing can resume 7 days after a hard freeze and can continue until the pasture is grazed down to 3 to 4 inches.
❌ shorter than 3 to 4 inches, then no grazing should occur after a hard freeze. Grazing below 3 inches can harm the plant and lead to poor productivity next season.

🌾 Plants rely on stored nonstructural carbohydrates in the lower 3 inches for energy. Therefore, the 3- to 4-inch minimum height recommendation is necessary to help maximize winter survival and can help predict a vigorous and healthy pasture come spring. We do recognize horses rarely graze uniformly and pastures tend to have areas of both over and under grazing. You will need to base decisions on the average appearance of your pasture

28/09/2025

Love this!

“It’s just a saddle pad, not a monster,” a client said to their horse while working on their horse’s fear of the saddle pad.

You might be thinking, “How is helping a horse therapy?” That is such a good question. So, let’s break it down - To help the horse, the client must work on and successfully be able to do the following:

✅ notice changes in their body and their horse’s body
✅ identify their emotions
✅ regulate their body,
✅ assist their horse in regulating
✅ work through their frustration when things do not go as planned
✅ work through moments of “I don't want to”
✅ work through moments of “this is too hard”
✅ work through moments of “I can’t do it”
✅ notice their self-talk and adjust it if needed.
✅ offer support to another who is struggling
✅ Feeling and coping with the discomfort of the another being upset with you
✅ Learning to connect instead of control
have compassion for another’s experience
✅ focus, and if distracted, be able to re-focus
✅ identify moments of progress
✅ be able to titrate what they are asking so they do not overwhelm their horse’s nervous system
✅ make a plan and work the plan
✅ take information they learned and apply it to the plan, and change the plan as needed

As each of these arise for the client, the therapy team addresses the issue with the client in the moment. The client learns the skills they need to help their horse which also helps them.

Working on something as simple as a horse’s fear of an object can give humans the opportunity to work on many things that will improve their lives.

22/09/2025

The 13 Second Rule - Learn It

When a horse startles, their orienting reflex kicks in - they shoot up to 18hh, lock onto the source, and you swear you can feel their heart pounding through your saddle. Then comes the investigatory reflex - ears, eyes, nostrils all screaming: “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!”

Here’s the important risk management bit: horses are actually brilliant at working out if something’s a real threat. What usually screws it up is us. Riders grab, yank, panic, and - congratulations - you’ve just turned a startle into a full-blown rodeo or bolting freak out. That is because your response made the startled horse feel 10000% more threatened.

Dr Andrew McLean showed that if we stay calm, a horse’s heart rate can start lowering in about 13 seconds. That’s it. Thirteen measly seconds. So breathe and start counting, wait for the ear flick or head shift, and only then step in.

Because your calm buys recovery. Your panic buys chaos.

This is Collectable Advice 31/365 – Save it or Share it (no copying and pasting).

IMAGE📸: Incredible image captured by the amazing Lynn Jenkin.

15/09/2025

Finally got a chance to ride Roo. Happy trails!

30/08/2025

Ollie (mini donkey) and Roo welcome you to Horse Ways LLC in Somerset, Wi.