30/07/2022
I found this post on my Homebirth Ceserean group wall. I feel this SO deeply As a homebirth ceserean mama x 2 and postpartum doula having supported many many mothers who had unplanned ceserean births!
Hold all those mamas, literally hold their hand or hug if invited, emotionally hold space, mentally hold space-listen to the birth stories, the storm of raw emotions that may need processing, while they hold their own babies or a family member or friend is holding the baby for them. If mom needs to shower, take a walk, eat a meal, rest and asks for a break then it may be a good time to hold that sweet baby then but only then!
Hold the mother, not the baby.
Because the baby’s being taken care of—
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—
by not only the mother,
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.
But the mother,
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,
may feel more like a mess than a mother,
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.
So, hold the mother, not the baby.
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,
in the background, making it all happen:
feeding her baby at all hours,
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,
and being that baby’s everything.
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.
And a mother will remember who held her up.
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”
Because the mother needs to be held more.
📸: This Mama Doodles
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My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc