26/10/2025
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Punishment can be so tempting...
Have you ever been kept up at night by your dog barking? You fully understand they have separation anxiety and are being loud because they are stressed, but it’s now 3am and you have to be up for work by 7. All you want to do in that minute is jump out of bed, storm downstairs and shout “SHUT UP!”
It might work. They might be quiet if you manage to scare them enough. Or, more likely, it may make absolutely no difference. But you are tired, frustrated and the dog is impacting your own welfare.
When I talk about punishment here, I mean positive punishment- despite what the name suggests it isn’t very positive. It means adding something to make the behaviour less likely to occur- something aversive that the dog isn’t going to enjoy.
It is so easy for us to sit on our high horses and look down our noses at those who use punishment. We know bad behaviour is the symptom of a problem, and that just stopping the behaviour doesn’t deal with the root. We know that punishing the symptoms can cause the dog to mask their feelings, potentially resulting in a far worse problem down the line.
But for people who dread going to bed at night, knowing they will only get a few hours of rest, for people who have to be aware of what their dog is doing all the time otherwise they will chew up furniture, people who hate going on walks because it will undoubtedly end in the pain of them being dragged around or pulled over- for those sleep-deprived, hyper-vigilant people whose bodies ache, it’s not unfair for them in that moment to want those symptoms to stop.
As behaviourists we often go into a home, spot the problem and give instructions to gradually make the situation better for the dog and owner. Take separation anxiety, for instance: we prescribe a behaviour modification programme that will eventually lead to the dog being comfortable to be left alone. But it is gradual, and won’t work overnight. The issue being that the owner still needs to sleep, they still need to go out to the shops, they still need to go to work or go to the toilet. That dog still has to be left alone sometimes, and that sleep-deprived owner’s brain is nearing the end of its tether.
It’s so easy for us to judge because we aren’t living it. People who swear they would never use punishment, tell me you’ve never become so tired and overwhelmed that you’ve never shouted or sworn at your dog. Maybe they didn’t stop barking to even take a breath when you left the room, maybe they lunged at a passer-by so ferociously they pulled the blinds down, maybe they went to the toilet on your new rug or chewed up your favourite shoes, maybe they didn’t recall and instead ran around you in circles for an hour. Don’t tell me you’ve never been angry at your dog. It builds up and up and up and then it explodes.
If it’s a repetitive problem, your body doesn’t have time to recover. You are constantly trigger stacked, constantly secreting stress hormones inside your body, your brain is functioning differently, your immune system weakened. You aren’t yourself, and that makes it far more difficult to think clearly. Maybe your relationships are suffering, maybe your mental health is plummeting. Suddenly your dog’s emotional well-being isn’t at the forefront of your mind when their behaviour is tearing your own life apart.
And shouting may alleviate the stress caused by their behaviour for a short period of time. Or maybe a shock collar will. Or a leash correction. Or a smack. It stops the behaviours that make your life hell and you can start to go back to normality.
Except all of that torment, that stress, the feelings of hopelessness and turmoil and anxiety that were happening in your mind beforehand, the restlessness and unpredictability, they are likely some of the reasons why your dog was acting up in the first place. They weren’t doing it to be naughty, they were doing it because for whatever reason they felt uneasy. And now they are being punished for that. They still feel it, they just can’t express it.
But just like people under stress, with them it’ll likely find a way to be expressed with a bang. Just like us, it builds up and up and up and then it explodes. You might shout at your dog when you have reached the end of your tether. They might bite.
I promise I understand how tempting punishment is, and I promise I am not superhuman. I get stressed and sometimes I explode. That’s why management is amazing. It is a lifesaver.
•They didn’t stop barking to even take a breath when you left the room- give them some really exciting food enrichment toys to play with until you get back.
•Maybe they lunged at a passer-by so ferociously they pulled the blinds down- close the blinds so they can’t see people walking past.
•Maybe they went to the toilet on your new rug or chewed up your favourite shoes- make sure next time you leave them alone that they’ve been to the toilet, the rug or shoes are safely put away and the dog has something to occupy themselves with.
•Maybe they didn’t recall and instead ran around you in circles for an hour- use a long line on walks until their recall is reliable.
And if you need to hear this right now, you are doing a fantastic job. Dog training and ownership is incredibly hard and we all explode sometimes, but we can’t always beat ourselves up over the things we do at our most stressed. Living in a stressful situation can remove our perspective, so a problem occurring to somebody else which has a seemingly simple solution may seem totally impossible in their shoes. Desperate people do things they wouldn’t normally do, and that doesn’t mean they don’t love their dogs.
Punishment can be so tempting, and it’s really easy to resort to it. But if you are feeling hopeless and like nothing is working with your dog, reach out for help. Resolution or improvement may be a lot easier that it seems.
