09/02/2021
Bike keep
You'll require these items only; A Bike, A Leash and a Dog.
Regarding the bicycle. It must have handlebar brakes. Pedal brakes are no good at all and would probably result in your doing severe damage to your fool self should you fail to heed this warning. Also, for greater comfort, balance and leverage, the handlebars should be of the American type (slightly curved like the horns of a long horned steer.. not the English variety, where the bars curl under like a rams horns)
Regarding the leash. It should be one made of nylon, not leather (unless thin and supple) as you will need to wrap it quickly around your hand in order to reel your dog in.
Regarding the dog. The dog should be one that doesn't have it in for you! If you are right-handed, hold the leash in your right hand. (Lefties should reverse everything I say from here on out) Remember, that this being your first time out, then your dog is every bit the learner you are at this point. He's apt to be a bit skittish, wondering perhaps, over the new wheeled appendage that you've suddenly sprouted. In this activity, dog is certainly not mans best friend.... your handbrake is! With some dogs, you'll have to be braking even before you've managed to fully swing yourself onto the saddle. But such dogs are usually the one's used to a bike and that know full well the joyous freedom of the run....the man hanging on behind in a near panic of self-preservation.
But, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. You haven't started out yet, and your dog, a youngster perhaps, is circling around you even while you try and mount the bike, tying you up in knots. You must not allow too much of this to go on, else you might have to rely upon the kindness of some passing stranger to untie you. But, you have to understand the part apprehension, part curiosity of your dog as he circles round...eyeing you...and it..and gradually gains the confidence to come closer in order to sniff this curious apparatus. Friend or Foe?..and if foe, horror of horror's, upon it his faithful master sits! So if your dog suddenly throws caution to the wind, grabs hold of the wheel or pedal and attempts an instant disassembling of your bicycle, he's probably only trying to protect you.
Again, don't allow yourself to get tied up. Allow your dog to check out the bike before you climb on. Later, if he persists in circling you, you can reel him in, right up close to your knee if necessary. The closer that you reel him in the more control you will have over him. You can even lift his front legs off the ground if you have to (assuming that he's in harness, which he certainly ought to be)
Once you are underway, realise that until your dog gets the hang of it, he is likely to try all the moves..and if one of those moves is too far wrong, there'll be no defying gravity...down you'll go.
Always start out slowly, making certain that your dog is thoroughly 'warmed up' before allowing him to go all out. One dog I had was extremely hard to put the dampers on...he just wanted to go! So I'd either walk him for fifteen minutes before going out with the bike...or else I'd go with the bike, using the handbrake to hold him to a walk. But I must warn you, that using a bikes handbrake to hold such a strong and eager dog in check for so long a time does strange things to your hand. I'd spend the rest of the day trying to uncurl my fingers. But better your cramped fingers than a sprain for your dog! The few times that I didn't thoroughly warm up such a dog, more likely than not he would suffer a strain.
And so we begin....
Probably at first your dog will be trotting alongside you on your right, not yet completely at ease with the situation. Perhaps he's giving you as wide a berth as possible, even pulling away from you and threatening a spill. Talk him along, reassure him. You can even reach out your hand to him, encouraging him to come closer to you (and to the bike). If you are a good bike rider and quick at reeling in the slack, you can quite handily pat your dogs head or grab playfully at his muzzle even as you ride. Always try to keep just a slight bit of slack in the leash...not taut, reeling in or playing out as necessary.
This is the easiest time you'll have of it, your dog trotting alongside at your right. From this relatively safe position, there should be very few surprises in store for you. I can't ever remember a dog wanting to go suddenly into reverse and the bike itself is an obstacle to his suddenly going left. There remains only the directions, right and forward.
If your dog goes abruptly right (as in... get that cat), you can probably still keep your balance, or at least not take too bad a spill. You should be able to brake and get your right foot planted solidly enough to remain upright. If your dog takes a sudden liking for..full steam ahead, there's still enough time for you to gather the why's and wherefore's of his sudden surge of enthusiasm in that direction....and to deal with it. So much for the easier alongside-right position, which is fortunately the one most dogs seem to prefer.
The second most popular choice amongst dogs is way out ahead in front of you. This one is riskier. Right or Left is just a step away! You will have to keep wide awake here. Unlike the alongside-right position, the leash will be held taut, you'll be leaning forward, right arm outstretched...precarious, and you'll be going faster!! Be sure to use the brakes to slow down the action somewhat, if the speed becomes so great as to threaten a loss of control. Speeds of 30mph are perfectly within your dogs capabilities.
As if that wasn't enough that a sudden right or left turn on your dogs part is likely...even a sudden full stop is not unthinkable! (God! I hate it when a dog does that!) Temporarily at least, you may have to assume the rather undignified role of wildly maneuvering maniac, just so as not to run over your own damn dog! But if this happenstance should occur, don't waste time feeling sorry for your dog. Most likely, it is you who will get the worst of it.....a crouched dog makes a poor ramp.
A word about these dogs that do prefer the up-front position. Generally speaking, the front runner is just that in every respect! He's the best sort to condition...eager, no slouchier.....and if he's game enough, you've probably got a winner on your hands.
But even the front runner tires eventually, and there'll come a time when he tires enough to bring him alongside you. When the work slows to this point maneuver the bike around him so as to position him on your right, not on your left. Alongside-left is not a handy place for your dog to be and that positioning is to be avoided. Nevertheless, from time to time some dogs will be drawn to your left side. There are two sorts of dogs that wander left.
First, consider the alongside-right dog. Unlike the front runner go-getter, he's a pacer. Occasionally, he will slow to the point where it's difficult for you to continue forward and still remain in motion. At this point, the dog is liable to wander left, circling round behind you. There is no need to stop the action. Allow your dog to circle round to your left hand side. How to do this without getting tied up in the leash? Simply loop the leash up and over you, lariat-style and allow the dog to come round to your left. (Of course you can do this on other occasions as well, walking a dog or whatever. If you'd known this trick before you'd started out, you wouldn't have had to rely on that friendly passerby to untie you. A simple trick really, but for some reason not in common use. More often it's the behind-the-back "switcheroo" of right hand to left, or else the dogman turns full around and follows after his dog...which begs the question, of just who is working who?) But then, once the dog is on your left, the leash crossing your body, you would do well to consider yourself at cross purposes indeed. You should slow down, go around your dog and then bring him up on your right-hand side once more.
Oh yes, the second sort of pooch that will wander left is the one that was originally dished up as a kind of canine fruitcake. He doesn't know where he wants to be, so he tries to be everywhere all at once. If you work this sort of dog for very long, he will make you an expert with the lariat...which might even land you a job with a rodeo..that is if you can stand the schooling process.
This brings up the subject of spills. Should you suddenly find yourself helplessly trapped in that hopelessly irreversible situation, where there is little left for you to do except watch the pavement rising closer and closer to your face, do not despair, you still have a choice.
It isn't much of a choice however, ....for you are most definitely earthward bound. Where do the choices come in? Bearing in mind I've already said that it's not much of a choice, you must decide 1) to hang onto the leash, so that your dog doesn't continue on after whatever it was that set him off in the first place. Or, 2) you can decide to break your fall. You'll be damned lucky if you can do both!
There is something inherently contradictory you see, in the two processes. 1) clutching the leash in your fist, so as to hang onto your dog, and 2) stretching out your arms, palms open, outstretched fingers reaching in a desperate attempt to touch the pavement, before your head does. If you are like me, reasonably game (or stupid, I'm not sure which) you'll probably try to do both.....and succeed in doing neither.
And now as this visit draws to a close, here seems a timely moment to share with you one of my more memorable landings.
It took place when I was a beginner in the dogs. I had this really poor bred little bitch called "Flossie" (I didn't know pit-bred from pet-bred from chopped liver at the time) She was a pretty little thing, mostly black with a white blaze on her face and in better condition than any dog I've ever seen in my life. She was my grand experiment you see, in feeding and conditioning. I raised her on my raw dood diet and I kept her in shape. Now, I know dogs are said to go stale when conditioned for too long a period. Well I guess that nobody ever mentioned it to "Flossie", for she seemed totally unaware of its being required of her. Probably a natural diet and then all the rests between workouts ruled out the likelihood of staleness setting in. Anyway, "Flossie" was in pit-shape all her adult life while I owned her and once a week religiously I would take her out a 35-mile jaunt by bicycle. On the blacktop in Hollywood no less! Didn't she burn her feet? Of course she did, just a bit at first. But I was a learner myself and I learned to watch out for it. Gradually her pads toughened up, finally to a point where a 35-mile run on a pavement was no problem for her. (I know now that I shouldn't have run her for so long on pavement, that there are other considerations besides whether or not a dog burns its feet. Dirt and/or grass is of course to be preferred)
"Flossie" loved cats, chasing them, that is. If she saw a cat while we out on a run, the sudden surge of power, was at the very least unsettling to this bike rider....a concentration of sheer single-minded passion, a force unearthly... and I, on wheels had hold of it with a leash. And so, I came to see it as my job to spy the cat before "Flossie" did. At the particular time in question, it was her seeing the cat before I did, that caused my downfall.
It was a chill early morning, 6.00am or before, the light only just beginning to dawn. There was a cat..."Flossie" went hard left....and I went down hard! I tried hard to both hold onto "Flossie" and break my fall...and managed neither. My chin hit the pavement and "Flossie" was fast disappearing after that cat, a power unleashed.
I had to watch horrified while that danged cat, in mad flight for its life, dove desperately through a little hatch door, seeking sanctuary in its masters, horrified while "Flossie" slammed through after it. I was standing there blankly, clothes disheveled and staring a straight, endless line of helplessly mute exclamation points at that eerily silent house of doom. What was happening inside? Why was it so quiet? Lull before the storm? All hell ought to be breaking loose. I stood there for countless moments, forgetting to breathe. Any moment now, any moment and everything was going to hit the fan! But then, as if to answer my prayers...there came "Flossie"s head peeking through the hatch, "Flossie" coming through and prancing towards me as if nothing at all had happened.
Just what did happen inside that house? I'm sure that I don't know! All that I can imagine is that as soon as that cat went inside, it managed to get its clever feline self fully hidden before instant death slammed in behind it. "Flossie" must have got tired of looking and gave it up....perhaps, mercifully remembering her poor master undergoing untold agonies of suspense outside. I snagged onto "Flossie’s leash as if it were my last lifeline to freedom, mounted my bike more expeditiously if not more gracefully than a young Roy Rogers on Trigger....and proceeded to make myself scarce.
But once more underway, I could not resist one last glance towards that house....that still quiet, peacefully slumbering house that had so unknowingly escaped by one hairs breadth having its rafters raised to the high heavens. That door, the same door with the hatch, was opened just a crack. There, peering out, bleary-eyed, stood a man in his jockey shorts. Our eyes met, his were questioning, suspicious. But by now I was a mounted rider again and had my dog back....the picture of innocence. Of course, it didn't have to work out that way. The fates might not have been so kind. But I love a script with a happy ending.......don't you?
