08/05/2024
I was conflicted about asking the community for personal/familial financial help, especially on my business page, and this is the first time I've done something like this (I don't like asking others to foot our personal bills). But, given the perfect storm that has hit my family, first DumpTruck, and now dad, here we are. I caved!
Many of you know that DumpTruck was struck suddenly and unexpectedly with an aggressive form of large cell lymphoma recently, diagnosed in January, and despite all efforts to fight it (chemo, T-cell therapy, multiple blood transfusions) it took his life in less than four weeks. It feels like yesterday, and I am still in shock from it. In addition, I have the financial burden of over 20K in debt from the medical bills of fighting that disease.
The part that I did NOT yet speak about publicly is that this happened at the same time that my father, my favorite and must trusted person on the planet, and extremely bonded with DumpTruck, fell sick with multiple complex neurological diseases at the same time, including vasculitis, "parkinsonisms", and heavy metal poisoning, landing him in the hospital January 7th, up through April 17th, and now in in-patient rehab, fighting to come back from the damage done. He went from an unstoppable, hyper-intelligent, fighter of a man to completely dependent, confused, and unable to walk within weeks. The emotional toll this has taken on my family, including DumpTruck, has been huge, and this has been, without question, the hardest year of my entire life. Never knew my 40th year would look like this! Dad fought the odds against severe aspiration pneumonia in the hospital, which we were not sure he would overcome, and now he is responding to rehab and healing day by day...FINALLY.
DumpTruck spent days by his side in his hospital bed (see pics), and when DumpTruck started acting ill during this time, we all thought it was from him feeding off of dad's illness, because it's his nature to do that. He never wanted to leave dad's side when he was sick, and he would act depressed, out of empathy, to anyone in need. Turns out, tho, that it was also the first noticeable signs of his lymphoma presenting, and one day DT and I left the hospital to take him to see his vet, Evan, thinking it would be a minor thing, but instead discovered the lymphoma. I was beyond crushed and still am. So, DT never went back to the hospital and instead started his own fight, and has not seen dad again, and died within 3 weeks. One part about all this that cuts deep is that, to this day, as dad is still fighting to come back from his own disease, he does not know that DumpTruck went to heaven. As far as he's concerned, DT left the hospital one day and just hasn't come back. (I can't put that burden on dad until he's healed more cognitively. It will break his heart.)
That leads to the current need. Dad needs to continue his current in-patient rehab protocol, as it is now working, but Medicare and private insurance is cutting him off due to their "allotted" number of days allowed, regardless of ALL his doctors being adamant he just needs more time there. He can be himself again and get his life back, but not if his access to the intensive in-patient rehab is cut-off.
The solution: my dad is a veteran (served in Korea), and has access to in-patient rehab at the VA medical center. However, due to the convoluted and inefficient process of the VA, accessing his benefits has become, as of now, impossible, and we cannot afford to cover the cost without assistance. 20K in the hole after DumpTruck's illness, and now medical bills piling up for dad, and now copays required to cover his rehab at the VA, is what made me decide finally to reach out for help. I promised DumpTruck on his deathbed that I would take care of dad, as he did, and this is one way I can make good on that promise, and attempt to get dad his life back.
All funds donated will go DIRECTLY to cover the following expenses only: medical expenses for dad, including rehab copays and other costs related directly to his care, medical bills from DumpTruck's fight against cancer which is prohibiting me from now helping financially with dad's medical bills, and out-of-pocket costs for outpatient rehab and in-home health for dad, once released from in-patient rehab (once safe to do so- right now he cannot walk, stand, or shower without help and MUST move to the VA to overcome those hurdles first). And my promise is that any money donated to this fund that is beyond what we need for these specific costs will go to trustworthy organizations that cover costs of others in similar situations, AND I will be very transparent about whom that is. In addition, if our financial target needed can decrease, I will end the GoFundMe before reaching our goal so that no more is donated than absolutely necessary for our medical costs, and any excess at that time will go to a trusted organization as stated.
YES it should be easier to access the benefits he earned by serving his country, but unfortunately the system isn't set up that way.
Thank you so much for reading this lengthy story, and for ANY amount given to this fund. I know very well that money is tight for many people right now!
Important: if you know my dad personally and have contact, please DO NOT MENTION to him DumpTruck’s passing. We will tell him when the time is right.
-Sarah and DumpTruck (from heaven)
I was conflicted about asking the community for personal/familial … sarah hays needs your support for Help Dad (DumpTruck's BFF) Overcome Sudden Neuro Disease